The Struggle

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    • #132311

      I have lived 21 years without being diagnosed, I recently have been diagnosed with ADD. I spent so long being shunned, marginalised and rejected by people (mother was always working father was never around, bullied at school, and then again at work). I now struggle trusting others as they always leave me. I’m socially inept. I feel like I never quite fit in even with my family, people just use me while they need me then move on. I just don’t know how to be normal. I want to get past this but I don’t know how.

    • #132322
      Trying to fit in

      I hate that you’ve had to struggle so long. Bullying is not right. Bullying is not normal. Normal? Don’t even try to be (normal) if it means being mean to others. What is normal? Everyone is different. You are a beautiful person that just needs more self confidence like I do. I feel I don’t fit in either. I’m on a campaign to find nearby adhd’rs to console and have great conversations with but no luck yet. Are you taking medication. I haven’t yet found the perfect meds but it helps. I am a lot older and still feel lonely. I no longer try to fit in. I am me. You are you. You’re a beautiful individual. In working situations they always need someone to talk about or ostracize. You are taking all the pain but saving another person from that pain. I volunteer at an animal rescue. I get a lot of love from my animals. I fit in with the cats and dogs (not necessarily with the volunteers). It’s such a comfort. I used to volunteer at a food bank and felt so comfortable there. I guess you need to try to find something that makes you feel needed. In the meantime you shouldn’t try to fit in with bullies. You are better. This is a simple song but it is about adhders and has beautiful words.

    • #132455
      Penny Williams

      There are a lot of emotions that come with an ADHD diagnosis, especially when the diagnosis comes as an adult. This article offers some insights and strategies for moving forward after diagnosis, and working through those emotions:

      Your After-Diagnosis Survival Guide

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #132720
      Aaron Lewis

      The biggest piece of advice I would give you is to accept the fact you are different from other people. I was diagnosed at four years old with ADHD, and I understand I’m different and learning more about ADHD has really helped me to understand why I did some of the things I did in my past.

    • #133193

      I am taking ritalin, however im more set to being alone and kind of in a routine. I also lack the social skills to talk effectively and usually when i feel im getting close they run away. and i know im atypical but i just need some acceptance. I just dont know how to start to learn these social skills.

    • #135638

      I feel ya man. Just know your not alone. I’m a loner. I get used and taken advantage of pretty easily. It’s not easy to be quick and witty in convos when you have no clue what the hell anyone’s talking about. My social skills are basically me nodding my head and retaining small bits and pieces of what people are saying and pretending like I know what’s going on.

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