July 29, 2018 at 1:19 pm #89710
After years of struggling and losing several jobs, and not understanding why I was not succeeding in life, and being a burden to family and friends, I finally had had it and scheduled an appointment with one of the best hospitals in the country. Last year, at 50, I was diagnosed with ADD and executive functioning as well as a learning disability from being an underweight premature baby. The diagnosis answered a lot of questions as to why I keep trying, failing, trying, failing and trying and am still not far along! One of the doctors said to me “your resilience is remarkable”. I was prescribed Adderal 20mg.
Fast forward and I am again unemployed after being let go from a job I knew I wasn’t qualified for. I took that job after leaving a commission only job that I was unable to survive on. For the 3 months I was there, I was able to clear up some debt. I have a masters degree that is useless. Teaching colleges worked for me and I was great at it, but I was never full time and that income could not sustain me. Therefore anxiety, depression, missed classes due to not being able to fix my car, and facing eviction, etc. I was never asked back. Due to all of the above anxiety, I defaulted on my student loan and they added $35,000 to it- now totaling $135,000 and counting!!! I spoke to attorney about it and he said even though I have a disability, I CAN still work and the student loan co’s will not forgive any of it! Suggestions please.
I WANT to work, but being unemployed and at 51, I am unable to get jobs like when I was in my twenties or thirties. I was able to take some classes -which will definitely make me more marketable. I have applied to retail jobs (with a dummied down resume) and got no response! I started to deliver for the big online retailer A, but had panic attacks because of all the driving and not knowing where I was going until it showed up on the navigation; and my car being in not the best shape at 16 years old. Bad credit, no job + cant buy a new car. So I’m holding on. Suggestions for this to use later please.
On a good note, I am on medicaid, so I can get healthcare and a small amount of food stamps. I do not know what to do. I do not have family to live with – as they are in another state far away, and do not have accommodation for me. I couldnt drive to move myself anyway of anxiety and lack of money to rent a truck and helpers. I’ve always lived on my own and currently my living situation is a studio with free utilities. So rent is low- considering the area I am in. But unemployment ends in 2 weeks!!! I have sold some clothes on ebay. I have asked the few friends I have and posted on church and community sites that I will clean, run errands, cook, babysit, elder sit, etc. One lady responded but she wanted 2 days a week and was paying through payroll which means taxes, etc coming out. To drive a long distance and pay gas, it didn’t make sense (for both of us).
Throughout the years my friends and family(in other states) have been a blessing and GIVEN and loaned me money. They have helped pay my rent, they have fixed my car, they have deposited money in my checking account so that I could get food to eat! After 15 years of not being able to sustain myself, I have paid back some and then lose the job and am unable to continue. Right now none of my family or friends know my situation. I have reached my limit and cannot ask again. They have children and struggles they are going through!
My urgent need right now is keeping a roof over my head! And keeping my car in good running condition so that I can get around and get to a job WHEN I get one! (I had 2 good interviews and they want me to come back for a second- but they are dragging their feet- it has been several weeks)!
Once that is done, it is paying the ezpass bill that is over $500 and some taxes I owe because I needed $ in my check at the tine to survive. After that, it will be MAINTAINING the job! After that- trying to save again for retirement and I don’t even know when that will be! With all of this, I now see why people are suicidal. Even though I am not.
ANY suggestions appreciated. Time is running out!
July 29, 2018 at 10:58 pm #89755Shar58Participant
First of all KUDOS to you for be able to sell your clothes on EBAY! The thought of all the steps involved makes me cringe! I don’t think any masters degree is useless. You should be in demand. You could probably get into teaching, if you don’t mind kids. Every state has a Dept of Vocational Rehab. They help people with disabilities get schooling or job coaching. With your education level you may not eligible as a client. You might qualify as a counselor. You would probably do very well. Hope that helps.
July 31, 2018 at 12:22 pm #89881
Thanks All. Yes setting up ebay is tedious, and I put it off for months(ADD)! I set a Saturday aside and put all my clothes in various categories and took pics and wrote short descriptions (ebay makes it easy). And I refused to iron all the clothes! That was the part I was dreading! I just put them up wrinkled! And now with cell phones, it’s easy to take pics and post. I actually was on such as roll, I emptied out more stuff from my closet that I did not plan on selling! I made $245 this month! (minus approx $40 in fees). I am now considering having an ebay store in the future.
My masters utilized software that is now obsolete and I couldn’t afford to buy it to keep up with the new software. Most people (who keep jobs longterm) utilize the software at their jobs because the employers purchase licenses.
I was teaching at a community college and absolutely loved it! But it was adjunct and I could not afford to live on a part time salary. The stress of trying to get by on that salary, facing eviction caused me so much stress and anxiety – missing class because of car trouble and forgetting to return the contract agreement, resulted in me not being asked back (even though I had excellent reviews). I therefore do not know how I can apply to other colleges without them calling the previous school.I was even so desparate at one time to go back and tell them my diagnosis and hope they would give me a second chance- but it was many years ago.
Re: Eviction- yes you go to court but they get you out quickly in my state. I have utilized social services previously, they will pay $600 of the rent PROVIDED one has an eviction notice and can prove they have income coming in. I asked my landlord one time to give me an eviction notice. He was not happy he had to spend time to go down to the courts, etc. I got the $600 AND had to pay him back all of the court fees.
I contacted my states Dept of Rehabilitation. They are slow as….. And the counselor I had was a rude idiot! I knew I wanted to take a class to update my skill set. I thought that would be beneficial and showed her my resume. I also found schools with the classes. Presented it to her and she stated “people always want to take classes. Then they don’t finish. Then they come back to me and then are on my case load for years”. She refused to sigh off stating “she has to think about it”!!! And I should let unemployment pay for it. (I knew ue would pay but I wanted to take another class through them – which I am doing now). I was LIVID! But I stayed professional and calm. FOUR WEEKS passed and she was still thinking about it. I escalated it to her manager and demanded she so something. She never responded. Now they have me with a non profit they work with (reputable)and the career person there is supposed to assist me with finding a job. Which basically means she finds the exact same jobs I find on the internet and presents them to me. And all of the other jobs with her contacts are for mostly minimum wage and a little above. So she is useless- but at least pleasant.
ANY suggestions on the student loans and using disability as a leverage and also extending unemployment past the 6 months appreciated. A good friend just deposited $400 in my bank account so I can make rent. And I will pray for guidance to get the job after the second interview.
July 30, 2018 at 8:47 am #89768JBoomParticipant
It’s important to keep it simple in times like this. Focus on meeting immediate needs of food, shelter, and clothing while staying on the job search task. Everything else can wait.
On that front, sounds like you have food assistance. In terms of bills, don’t pay anything you don’t have to for survival. Sounds like you don’t have individual utilities that can get shut off, so that’s good. I would contact the owner of the apartment and let her/him know that you might fall behind but you are seeking employment and have interviews lined up.
If it comes down to it, and you get an eviction notice, keep in mind you have rights. You can’t be kicked out without a court order, and the process for that allows you to have your say in front of the judge (to make your case for more time). Proof that you have interviews lined up will really help there.
If you have two interview call backs, you’re in good shape. I’ve had worse situations than that! Keep at it.
You might also want to consider looking at work-from-home opportunities online. Look up “GIG economy” in your fields of interest/skill.
July 31, 2018 at 12:26 pm #89884
Thank you so much! See my reply above!
July 31, 2018 at 3:46 pm #89920Shar58Participant
Yeah DVR might be useless. They did help me several years ago in CT. They put through Paralegal College. Of course I failed miserably at that career. Have an appointment in August with one if FL. If I think of any more suggestions for you, will let you know. I somehow think people with ADD are resourceful and therefore, If there are answers to our ‘challenges’, we have already thought of them.
August 24, 2019 at 10:05 pm #126397Sam kParticipant
I am currently on a waiting list to see an ADHD specialist after 25 years they finally nailed it. I am 40 years of age and never had a full time job with a full salary and now I understand why. It was the social anxiety, mood and motivation which made it difficult for me to get comfortable in the workplace with my colleagues. Also in adhd brains there is a split between knowledge and performance, so we have trouble retaining and recalling information. I have dropped out of college and university, started over again, chopped and changed courses. In some cases I never completed what I started, gained mediocre grades or failed altogether.
I have a degree which I haven’t put to use either.
The only time I managed to earn a steady income was when I had my own beauty business, I worked from home mainly and did the odd mobile booking. But even with the business, I found my self downsizing it instead of expanding it because I couldn’t cope. I also struggled with book keeping and money management. I closed earlier this year as I couldn’t cope anymore.
Have you considered self employment, are you able to offer any of your skills to others? Running your own business will give you freedom
And flexibility, it may not provide a steady income to start with but it might be worth a try.
Hope that helpsx
August 26, 2019 at 7:32 am #126448OutsiderParticipant
I admire your drive for not giving up.
Regardless of your past and current situation, think about what motivates you? Does your motivation align well with your skills? Focus your career search around what motivates you most, especially areas where your skills and expertise are in demand.
Also consult a professional resume writer, someone who can help you combine your past, your motivation and your skill set into one concise document and help prepare you (these services are not cheap but are tax deductible). Living with ADHD myself, I understand your struggle but was able to align my career and motivation early on (even though I was diagnosed in my 40s). When I was seeking some career changes, I went to an online company: distinctive document. They gave me a long questionnaire, and an 90 minute phone Q & A and my new resume attracted a lot of attention right out of the gate.
best of luck to you.
August 10, 2020 at 5:13 pm #181055
Thanks all, I think my notifications was off- s I never saw your responses. Yes, I was an entrepreneur at one point and loved it. But I needed more $ to keep the business going- so I had to close it. And good thing because the country entered a recession. Re resume, because I have had so many jobs, I’m an excellent resume writer and enjoy helping others to do it (which I should probably try to make money doing- but many are friends and family who fed me and gave me $ and kept me afloat during all of my unemployed times- so I was glad to do it. I will look into doing it for the public though- another project — sigh).
Also, Sam, you mentioned: “Also in adhd brains there is a split between knowledge and performance, so we have trouble retaining and recalling information.” I know this to be true- but do you have any more info on this? Or can an ADDitude staff please provide more info. Also, any info on helping people in their 50’s with ADD?
Thanks Good luck all.
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