Teen admittedly quit trying at school

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This topic contains 24 replies, has 12 voices, and was last updated by  JNahas 1 week, 4 days ago.

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  • #76360

    ADHDmomma
    Keymaster

    My son is 15 and a freshman in high school. His diagnoses are ADHD, autism, dysgraphia, and severe executive functioning deficits. He also has a gifted IQ (but has decided he is “stupid” because he “can’t remember anything”).

    Yesterday I logged into the grading portal to find that he has an F in every single class, and we’re only 2 weeks into the new grading period. He’s not only missing assignments in every class, but has Fs on tests and quizzes. He has been out two days (because it’s torture for him to go to school at all, much less a giant school with 1300-1500 students). Still, his grades just aren’t ok.

    The school says it’s too early to make assumptions about his IEP and accommodations not serving him well. I call BS on that. They’ve been fighting me relentlessly all year to do as little as possible for him.

    As my son and I sat down last night and went through the assignments and grades for each class to make a plan to complete and turn in everything that has zeros, I asked him why his math test grade was so low. He has always loved math until 8th grade, when his executive functioning deficits got in the way). He has a good aptitude in math. His answer: “I didn’t try.” He explained that he feels like he can’t do well in math anymore and that statistics is boring, so he just isn’t trying.

    That was heartbreaking. He has fallen through the cracks and been brushed under the rug so much by the school system all these years that he has learned helplessness, to the point that he now doesn’t even want to try.

    Of course, we talked about the importance of doing his best in school, especially in high school. We also talked about a new rule, that there are no video games if you have Fs in your classes. He must put in some effort at school to be allowed to spend his efforts on video games. He didn’t like it, but he also knows it had to be.

    I find myself bitterly angry at our school system. If they had supported him to the full extent that he needs, and worked to understand him all these years, he would be doing well, and he’d want to do well. He’d have some confidence that he can succeed, instead of what they’ve taught him, which is that he can’t, no matter how hard he tries to meet school expectations. He used to try and he used to care about it.

    I adjusted my expectations of “success at school” for him a long time ago, as I should. Just because a student is intelligent, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to achieve A’s and B’s in mainstream mass education. Unfortunately, we don’t have any options for a better environment, and homeschool is not an option either (although I have talked some with the school about the possibility of doing 50+% of the school day in person and the rest in online virtual public school – which may be an option). And I know he will be ok later, when he can choose what he studies or what field of work he is interested in, but we have 3.5 years of high school to get through and, at this rate, we aren’t going to survive it.

    Have any of you had a teen who lost all confidence in school and lost the will to even try? How do you turn around such deep-seated learned helplessness that was caused by someone else?

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #76391

    bnunesclsi
    Participant

    I could have written this story myself, as I feel I have lived this life too. My son, 7th grade now, has learned helplessness and learned that if he just refuses work, gets himself in trouble by yelling, saying a bad word, or whatever, he will get to leave the situation…and he is correct! This has happened so many times in the past two years, we are homeschooling now. My son, ASD, ADHD, dysgraphia, anxiety, has been lost in the cracks in the fact that he has always been the same kid that needs a lot of help and supports, but has NEVER received them. He didn’t get an IEP until 5th grade, being denied by my request (not the school) starting in 2nd grade! He too has been very strong in math and it was his only thing he enjoyed in school. Well, when algebra was introduced, he could not do it! He just didn’t understand algebra at all (especially the “x” in equations, etc). That was it for him. He felt that he was just so stupid and had nothing left for him in school, so he just gave up. Stopped doing work, putting his head down on his desk, every class, crying, feeling sick, going to the nurse, not wanting to be in school anymore. He felt no teachers liked him, not principals liked him, no kids liked him. And oh ya, he was, and has been, bullied basically every single year, ending up in trouble for defending himself and getting suspended every year! The school district has failed my son!!! And I am very angry about it! Supreme Court case came too late for us, as my son had already turned into a different kid now, and I feel he would be different if he had gotten the help and supports he deserved in school!!! So I look for answers also and am so sorry you have gone through such a hard difficult time. It’s a hard life to live!!! It’s truly not fair! I’m so angry and not sure if I will ever get over this!

  • #76417

    deb91
    Participant

    My son is 14, getting ready to move to high school next year. Dx with ADHD Inattentive and OCD. May hay have mild ASD, but he’s not officially dx. This year he does seem to be opting out. It’s only through a great deal of positive reinforcement (or shameless bribery)that he has made any effort at all. Used to be an A/B student until this year. He hates school. I don’t have any answers really. I listened to a webinar here at Attitude that I thought was very interesting, so I purchased the presenter’s book – He’s Not Lazy: Empowering Your Sonto Believe in Himself by Adam Price. I’ve found it very helpful in understanding his male teen mindset.

    At any rate, it’s possible your son has some mild depression. My son takes Lexapro for OCD, but has helped with depression as well. Something to look into I guess if he’s not taking meds that would alleviate depression.

  • #76436

    ADHDmomma
    Keymaster

    Well, he just texted me (from the bathroom during English class) begging me to pick him up from school. Says he can’t take any more teasing and it’s making him want to hurt himself. 🙁

    I’ve engaged school staff about it. We are going to begin seriously discussing part school days in person and part days Virtual Public School online. It will be a financial strain on already strained finances, but his mental health has to be most important.

    Yes, he could have some depression at this point — can’t take SSRI’s because of mood and hallucination side effects to all of them. Need to go back to therapist.

    Feeling super heartbroken today, but I know we will get to better days again.

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #76455

    deb91
    Participant

    So sorry to hear that. It sounds like a toxic environment for him. Virtual Public School Online might be the best answer. If he’s talking about feelings of wanting to hurt himself, he def needs to be talking to a therapist. My son was bullied by one student in his 6th period class last year, and seemed to find speaking with a counselor very helpful (easier to talk to her than mom and dad about the mean things this kid said to him). I wonder if a SNRI would be better tolerated than a SSRI? I take Cymbalta and find it to be a very calming anti-depressant. It really helps with both anxiety and depression. Hope your son is feeling much better soon.

  • #76516

    SLorenz
    Participant

    I just stumbled on this website. Why all the chatter about medicating your kid on every page? WOW! Truly, no judgement because his parenting stuff is so hard and I’m always learning! Maybe I’m missing out and should medicate. I’ve just never even thought about that route. I had assumed there are too many side effects. We went the natural route 5 years ago when my son was diagnosed with dyslexia and severely depressed and anxious. I’ll share in case it helps someone. We saw a NATUROPATH. She ran a quick neurotransmitter (urine) test and got him on all natural KAVINASE to boost his GABA. She’s taken a lot of kids off meds with Kavinase! He takes it morning and night. He also tested positive for an MTHFR mutation. It’s super common. Your body doesn’t absorb B vitamins unless you take methyl Bs. He also takes melatonin before bed and uses a calming sound-machine type app and essential oil diffuser. Magnesium epsom salt baths help him too. “TEEN LINK” supplement is a good one a lot of kids love that contains 5 HTP and amino acids (brain balancers). . Oh and probiotics. The gutt is literally the 2nd brain!!!!. The Kavinase is our most effective must-have for him. You can Google any of these and order them online. But, worth seeing a naturopath to run a neurotransmitter test as quick “detective” work on whats going on with the brain. Or from afar, look up Kristen Blake Wellness here in Portland. She can order labs and review them. My 14 yr old son has dyslexia , dysgraphia, Irlen’s Syndrome (a light sensitivity that 1/2 of kids with LD have), and I suspect inattentive ADHD. I also have the same issues. I take Amino Energy (amazon), fish oil, probiotics, methyl B, liquid D, epsom baths, low gluten, hot yoga (sweat detox), HIIT training (because it boosts serotonin). I know L-Glutamine is another doctor fav. Good luck Penny. Your story is relatable.

    • This reply was modified 9 months ago by  SLorenz.
    • This reply was modified 9 months ago by  SLorenz.
    • This reply was modified 9 months ago by  SLorenz.
    • #76567

      ADHDmomma
      Keymaster

      My son could not function at all without ADHD medication — while it certainly isn’t a cure, and it doesn’t “fix” anything, it does offer improvement.

      I suspected a recent dosage increase (very small) was causing increased anxiety and agitation. I followed my gut and went back to the lower dosage yesterday, and he had such a better day and was happier and more settled. Sometimes, you have to balance the benefits on focus of higher doses with not having their brain on “high alert” all the time. It just has to be a lower dose than is fully effective for him, and we have to manage in other ways.

      He does also have MTHFR and COM-T genetic polymorphisms and he takes some methylated B-vitamins and methylfolate and vitamin C to try to help with that some.

      We also had a serious talk Wednesday night about trying to do your best, not trying to “get it over with” when it comes to school work. He had a math test yesterday and he said he really tried to do well, and his SPED teacher texted me that he thought he did do well on the test. (Math is where he really avoids work.) We made a rule that when you have a current grade that is an F, you don’t play any video games until all the missing work is complete and submitted to teachers. His poor grades are mostly due to missing and incomplete work, and teachers give him extra time and let him make it up. It hasn’t even been 48 hours since our heart-to-heart, but so far so good. 🙂

      All we can do is keep working at it and give him all the tools and coping strategies we can to make as much improvement as possible for him. Some days are heartbreaking, but a great day is never too far behind.

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #76576

    SLorenz
    Participant

    Gosh. So much of this sounds familiar. I will keep the RX route in mind should he struggle further. Thank you

  • #76683

    caringmom
    Participant

    Hi Penny,nice to read your son is better now.Even my son is 6 years old but increase or decrease in methylphenidate just by 5 mg makes a lot of difference in his behaviour pattern.When the dose is changed whether your son tells you the changes he feel inside or in his thinking?Thank you.

  • #76648

    Ellings4
    Participant

    In addition to other good things you’re doing… another concept that sounds like it would really help your son (and most of the students I’ve taught) is something that isn’t unique to ADHD… it’s the concept of “growth” and “fixed” mindsets. Ned Hallowell said something to the effect that this concept is the most important contribution from psychology in a really long time (wish I could remember and quote it better). People can easily slip into feeling that “smart” or “stupid” are fixed traits of a person… something that you’re born with that there is no ability to change. So why work hard if this is just a fact about you… the harder you work the more it hurts to fail. If you know you didn’t try, it protects you a bit from the pain of failing. Anyway, I think teaching kids (and ourselves) to shift to a “growth mindset” (explained in the podcast below) is key to happiness in life and effectiveness in school. What you’re describing with your son sounds like bullies and other brain chemistry stuff are for sure playing a role in making it harder to try and more painful to fail…but the hopelessness and giving up that you describe sound like classic symptoms of a “fixed mindset”.
    Here’s a great podcast from Ned Hallowell on this topic. They are discussing 3rd graders, but I have seen great change in the college students I teach with these same techniques – I’m sure it applies at any age.
    Good luck!
    https://www.acast.com/distractionwithdrnedhallowell/s2-ep30-achieve-more-with-a-growth-mindset

  • #77087

    glitterratzi
    Participant

    As Im reading this I actually have tears in my eyes because everything that has been talked about here is EXACTLY what Im going through with my daughter and Ive felt so alone until now. Tears of frustration(I wish I founf this site sooner) and relief that I found a forum to talk to other parents in the same situation.
    My daughter is 12,in 7th grade and has ADD and so do I. She pretty much has given up on trying in school. Im fortunate enough to be living with family so Im able to be home when she gets home from school.I give positive reinforcement, and absolutely enforce the methods of making it about growth and process.Looking at the positve steps that shes accomplishing. Nothing has worked. I feel guilty like im not doing enough, and I cry in hiding and pray for her everyday
    But now She is depressed, and anytime she tries hard, some grades go up slightly then other grades are F’s. Ive asked for IEP testing numerous times and nothing is done. When teachers get frusterated with her, or make tiny comments about ‘listening’ or following the instructions prpoerly her whole world turns upside down. She physically tries to make herself sick so she dosent have to go to school. She also calls me from the nurses office. Ive had teacher,academeic advisor,and school couselor meetings and they all know about her ADD –yet its ignored when Im requesting extra help!! We also go to family therapy and a psy. She has also had bullies and thoughts of suicide.Im Also considering online school, with attending regular school half time.
    She only has friendships on role playing fanpage apps. Which I do monitor, and they roleplay situations as their fav video game character or others.I understand she does that because she feels ‘safer’ in that kind of friendship instead of getting bullied or hurt in real person.

    Does anybody else have kids ‘roleplaying’ as different people on these apps? I honestly think that half of these people are predators, and I cant get her off of it because they pretend to be her friend. She constantly lies about it and goes on other peoples phones to play.
    any advice Please?

    • #77231

      ADHDmomma
      Keymaster

      On your question about role-playing apps, start a new thread with that question so people who relate will see it and respond.

      On the school struggles…
      Have you requested the evaluation for an IEP in writing? If not, use this sample letter and do so ASAP:

      Free Sample Letter to Request an IEP/504 Evaluation

      If you have requested in writing and every request has been ignored, that’s a violation of the law (IDEA) and unacceptable. Escalate this issue until you are heard. Take it to the school principal first, then the Director of Special Education for your school board, then the superintendent, then the state department of education’s special education or exceptional children’s department. If you can hire an educational advocate to help, please do so.

      The messages they are giving your daughter at school are very detrimental and ruining her mental health. My son went to a charter school in 6th grade that was based on experiential learning and the growth model. Their interpretation of the growth model was basically that nothing is ever good enough. That if you don’t want to edit, and edit, and re-write, and edit some more, you are just lazy, because you’re supposed to be growing and improving always (of course, on paper and at recruitment meetings, it sounded like the golden ticket for my kiddo — learned the hard truth when he was there). This led to a huge escalation in anxiety, to the point that he was self-harming to get sent home. He had never self-harmed before, and hasn’t since leaving that school.

      Our kids being misunderstood is one of the most damaging things. Truly.

      Jerome Schultz has a great book on school stress and avoidance called Nowhere to Hide. I highly recommend it. Here’s a bit of it:

      Why School Stress Is Toxic for Children

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #77295

    brandikball
    Participant

    Penny, I’m so very sorry your son is going through this. It breaks my heart…and it’s all to familiar. I hated school, especially math. I was intelligent enough that I could slide by under the radar (and I didn’t want to get grounded), but I can’t even tell you how many times I missed recess for staring off into space or was told I could do/be so much more if I would just put the effort in. It got to the point, I did the bare minimum to get by in the classes I was disinterested in (math, chemistry, biology), and got straight A’s in the classes that did interest me (English, history, art). I firmly believe us neurotypical kids have a hard time functioning in the typical school environment. It’s literally torture.

    I’m living this right now with my son. My soon-to-be 6yo son has struggled with Kindergarten this year. His grades aren’t the issue; it’s his behavior (behavior, I might add, he does not exhibit at home). Just this past Saturday he told me he wished he were never born. I was stunned. When I asked why, he said “Because I hate school.” He’s such a sweet, smart boy, but he will shut down if he encounters criticism. He’s also extremely hard to discipline, as he just DOES NOT CARE. He’s not been diagnosed with ADHD yet, but I suspect he has it, given the research I’ve done and the fact that both his parents have ADHD. I’m currently struggling to convince his father to 1) get him tested and 2) move him to a non-traditional school, where he will be more engaged with learning.

    I have several friends with children with ADHD or SPD who have pulled their children from school and done the home school route. The transformation in their children is nothing short of a miracle. Your son is special and amazing in his own way, and it breaks my heart that our “fit in this box” educational system is breaking his spirit. I’ve felt that way my entire life (and often still do because the typical job just isn’t a good fit for the way I’m made). The fact that he has you in his corner…that makes all the difference. As a person struggling with ADHD, to be loved, and most importantly, truly understood by someone can make all the difference in the world.

    Hugs to you, Momma. Keep advocating for your son and trust your gut. You know your son better than anyone else.

    B

    • #77313

      ADHDmomma
      Keymaster

      Thanks for your kind note and insights.

      You are so right when you said, “our “fit in this box” educational system is breaking his spirit.” It is really heartbreaking. He used to LOVE math and science. Truly LOVE it. But worksheets and essays don’t work for him (because of ADHD struggles, but also the addition of Dysgraphia), and he’s just done with it. If a truly hands-on, experiential school were accessible to us, it would make all the difference in the world, but it’s not.

      School has taught him to avoid learning and exploration, because they aren’t open to kids learning in their own ways. 🙁

      I’m hoping we can still turn this around for him, but it’s tough to have any optimism for that now.

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #77344

    bnunesclsi
    Participant

    All of these stories are so similar to ours, as I’m sure to everyone else. My story/horror show with school basically ended last year (end of 6th grade 4/2017) when my son was just so fed up with everything (stress, anxiety, bullying, no friends, no teachers who liked him etc.) he just stopped working and put his head down on his desk. He then learned that if he gets in trouble, for whatever reason, he doesn’t care because he will be sent home most likely, and that’s what he wants. He started getting very depressed as well as extremely anxious. He was worried about if I die and who will take care of him because he feels alone in this world without me. So that was my breaking point. I removed him from school and am now homeschooling him. (Principal of his middle school hated him and would never like him, which was obvious.) I looked for out of district placement but there were none for us and our district’s special ed department is pathetic, so I said NO MORE! I am taking control of my son’s life, emotions, self-esteem, ambition, education, and most of all health!. Basically, school was ruining him, from inside and out. I felt bad for how long I basically made him go to school and kept lying telling him, saying this year will be better, this year will be the best yet! It never happened! So now, he no longer has to put up with bullying, not having friends and always being in trouble. He is lonely (but he lives with me, dad, 22 y/o sister and 15 y/o brother in 9th), but I am working on social things (we’re getting a cocktail in two weeks which he is going to take care of). Nicer weather is coming and am looking into horseback riding and maybe some therapeutic/social events. But being lonely from no socialization “of school” with mean kids and teachers, is way better than being continuously put down, socially excluded, bullied, punished for basically defending himself, and just be so depressed and anxious and not care about anything anymore. I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that taking him out of school was the best thing for him at this time in his life. We are hoping to try high school in a 2019/2020 because it will be a new school, new principal, teachers, kids, building, etc., and will be a new beginning. He will be more mature, have relaxed his anxiety and depression (both school initiated). Like I said, I don’t have answers, I just have our story and wanted to share. I know I feel a little better when I read that sooo many other families are going through the same thing…..which also gets me mad because if there are so many of “our kids” out there, why is school so freakin difficult for teachers and admin to accommodate and support our kids!!!

  • #78056

    ADHDmomma
    Keymaster

    Update: My son is now doing half-days of school in person, during the mornings. He is taking all 4 core classes in person (they are on an A-day, B-day schedule). He is doing PE at home in the afternoons (he has to do 30 minutes of exercise every day and we will submit a log to the school at the end of each 9 weeks). His other afternoon was academic support (special ed guided study hall of sorts) – he just won’t get a credit for that class second semester.

    He is such a HAPPIER kid. Yes, I’m sure some of that is that any kid would be happy to not be in school all day. But, the big thing is that he’s not in that environment long enough to get agitated and enraged. Before, he was flaming mad every day when I picked him up at the end of the school day. Now, when I pick him up after half the school day, he is happy, almost jovial. And he’s happy all day long.

    He comes home and immediately does his exercise, all homework, and reads a chapter of a book (he doesn’t read much of anything except what they read aloud together in English class, so I made this a condition of him having half-days at school). He doesn’t complain or try to negotiate or procrastinate on any of it — a complete 180! And, he still gets all that done before the school day is over for everyone.

    At first, I felt like this arrangement was giving up on school for him. But, I’m so glad I didn’t let that prevent us from trying this. We’re only 3 days in, but it’s a monumentally positive change! 🙂

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #78187

    angewhi
    Participant

    I too am looking for an answer. My son is 17 quit high school and recently quit GED. Said he is not smart enough to obtain a high school diploma because he reads at a 6th grade level. My son has add inattentive, dyslexia and I suspect dysgraphia and anxiety. He cant take prescription meds, we tried those back in 6th grade and they do not agree with him. I too am looking for some way to help him obtain a high school diploma. He won’t sit through 5-6 hours a day of online school. Since he doesn’t believe in himself he’s convinced it won’t happen. He won’t go to therapy. If anyone has any suggestions, I am open. I keep getting asked “Is he motivated to do school” After 5 years of fighting with the school district to try and come up with solutions he is just done with school. The school tagged him as emotional on his IEP because they claim he does not test for learning disabilities. Which I find hard to believe. The school also said he refuses to work. However the dyslexia diagnosis we just found out after he had had quit high school.

    • #78385

      ADHDmomma
      Keymaster

      Getting help with the dyslexia could turn things around. It sounds like he thinks he’s not smart enough because he’s behind in reading, but knowing it’s a learning disability and there are ways to work around it may help him. There’s a fantastic free service for those with disabilities called Bookshare (bookshare.org). They provide books with read aloud and highlight in sync functions. There are many, many audio books now too. And I think Google offers some read aloud functions as well.

      How to Treat the Symptoms of Dyslexia

      Maybe he could finish his GED with these types of accommodations and assistance?

      Don’t give up hope. Help him discover the things he’s good at to build confidence, which will build the strength to tackle the hard stuff.

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #78567

      angewhi
      Participant

      Thanks so much for your post. I keep trying. Right now he is so adamant that “it’s” not going to happen (high school diploma). So I am constantly researching trying to find a program that might appeal to him. I believe GED is best simply because he is all about “time”. I have heard so many times “How long will it take, I don’t want to waste my time”. I have just heard the HiSET exam is now available in our area, which kiddos with learning disabilities seem to perform better on than the traditional GED test. Now I just need a motivation genius/expert to tell me how to reel him back to practice, review, practice test, and the actual test.

      I haven’t given up hope, I just don’t want it to be 10 years down the road when he realized he needs it. I rather him complete it now while some concepts are still in his brain and retaining new information will be easier (than 10 years down the road).

      Thanks Again,
      Angie

  • #78313

    ken_whitten2002
    Participant

    mom, I was your kid 45 years ago and my heart goes out to you. I actually got an F- in Spanish, seemed spiteful. I did manage to barely graduate and by the time I was 20 I had matured enough to get married and join the Air Force. I pretty much hated school after leaving a small elementary school where you had mostly the same kids in your class every year. If there is a way to get him in a situation he is more comfortable with that would have to help. I had a lot more freedom as a kid. We walked all over the place and I was always happy doing physical but not highly structured activities. I don’t know if kids get to build forts and collect snakes or just explore nature, but thats what got me through. I was remodeling a kitchen at that age but had a hard time even going to school. He may have to just grow through a few years and hope he doesn’t screw up his life. I sold pot in high school and fortunately never got caught. I will tell you what helped me but you have to understand I have zero professional experience in the matter, other than selling pot as a teenager. The secret to life at that point for me was smoking pot, it just had a magical effect of making me a little more socially adept and less spazzy for lack of a better term. Most of the pot out there will definitely make the motivational part worse, but I didn’t care at the time. Nowadays I guess if you are lucky enough to be in a state where it is legal they have strains of pot that are medicinal quality and have the traits that someone on adhd might appreciate. There is a strain called “Dutch Treat” that had a few people recommending it. Like me it sounds like his social maturity may be delayed and perhaps he doesn’t like big crowds, It sounds like he will be fine in a few years. My best to you and your son.

    • #103163

      barbj1995
      Participant

      Angie,

      I am going through the same thing with my 17 yr-old son, and our psychologist said, “traumatized,” to describe his school experience is not an over-reaction. It devastated his spirit and motivation. I have taken him out and want to homeschool, and am wondering if you have found a homeschooling program that’s working? Or, did you choose a GED is a better option? I wish I had answers instead of questions for you! I can say I understand completely and am going through the same thing.

  • #78315

    angewhi
    Participant

    He has tons of friends. Maybe the peer pressure was too much for him but that doesn’t explain why he couldn’t be successful in a smaller GED setting or eeven an online program at home. I just need a format that will work for him and help him grsduste. Thanks for your reply. Maybe he does just need some time and try again

  • #78363

    SLorenz
    Participant

    I’m not sure which state you live in, but also plug in to your state’s Decoding Dyslexia group. Most states have a Facebook page. Ask local parents. Your story is familiar with a lot of overly frustrated dyslexic students. My friends 17 yr old recently left HS to finish at a small hands on Arts Tech HS. She has found new hope there. Maybe asking more local parents will help.

    • #78573

      angewhi
      Participant

      I wish we had a hands-on school in our area. That would be best for him. Also it seems that their are not any dyslexic chapters in our area. We are in central Illinois, most information comes from the Chicago area which is not close to us. I did look on facebook, but didn’t find a lot of help, perhaps I should try it again.

      Thanks you for your post, I do appreciate it.

      Angie

  • #103176

    JNahas
    Participant

    I have read all the touching stories above, and I agree, that there are biological and psychological drivers to adhd and related mood disorders or brain dysfunctions, but take heart, functional medicine doctors and naturopaths have the ability to test your children and find out exactly what the underlying disruptions are stemming from: it could be genetic, like MTHFR or COMT genes, but even genetics are turned on or off by environments, ie, lifestyle choices, and dietary ingredients, toxins, infections and endocrine disruptors. This is a complicated equation, but a good alternative doctor can help your family come to the root cause and treat accordingly, often eliminating the need for medications. Isn’t that what most parents want?

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