Stuck in the 'I should's'

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    • #62110

      I should be able to handle this. I’m up at 3:30 this morning to work because it’s so hard to do when my kids are home and school was closed yesterday. Instead of getting to that I see a message from my (and my oldest son’s) psychiatrist saying that we missed our appointment with her that I had just confirmed the day before. $75 no show charge. Maybe for each of us. I don’t know. I was in the car when they called and wrote it down. Couldn’t tell you where the note is. It didn’t make it to my calendar. If it had, I may not have known because I couldn’t find my phone.

      Missed taking our meds yesterday. It happens when we’re out of our routine. I should remember and I did around 4 pm. I couldn’t tell you why I didn’t get up then and get them as I didn’t remember again until I saw the message from the doc.

      I should know better than to work on other things when my kids are home. I got a lot done but volunteer work and doing household stuff doesn’t pay the bills.

      I should have called the doc weeks ago but I talked myself out of it, not wanting to increase my ADHD, depression or anxiety meds. I should be able to handle this. It’s life.

      The IRS sent me a surprise bill for $12k. It’s got to be wrong. It should be wrong. I hope it’s wrong.

      I should have booked another appointment with a therapist I started seeing. I missed my last appointment. I’m embarrassed. Again. She went on about her grandkids and whatnot last time, loosely tying it in to my situation. I should find someone else. Or. I should stick it out. Another impasse.

      I should have checked on my mom’s computer or whatever she needed like she asked. I forgot. Slept the evening away despite having gotten up late. I know it’s depression and overwhelm. She lives with us and has early dementia. I should give her more of my attention.

    • #62122
      Penny Williams

      “Should” really has no place in life, especially when you have a disorder like ADHD that requires expectations different from the norm.

      Throw out the “should”s and list what YOU feel like you need and want to do. Make those things your priority. Create a system for getting things done — whether it’s post-it notes, a list in a notebook, or an app — you have to have a system.

      A Get-Things-Done Guide for the Overwhelmed and Overloaded

      If you have a smart phone, get in the habit of putting everything in a reminders or to-do app and/or on your calendar. Set alerts (more than one) the minute you record the to-do or appointment. If someone calls you with an appointment or a to-do while you are driving, ask them to also send you a text or email with the details. Or, don’t answer the phone while driving.

      It sounds like you struggle with making decisions as well, which is common for those with ADHD. These strategies can help:

      Defeating Indecision — Decision-Making Made Easy!

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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