Struggling with my 6 year old ADHD son

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    • #80326
      elly87
      Participant

      This is my first post here and I sure am glad to find this community on a day like today. My sonw as diagnosed with ADHD 5 months ago. He is taking vyvanse 20 mg now and I am wondering if he needs a higher dose possibly, but I also know that sometimes a higher dose causes an increase in aggressive behavior….anyway, he is adorable and can be very loving, even more so than his non-ADHD twin sister. However, lately his behaviors at home have been increasingly more difficult. Here are some of the things im seeing:
      1. very argumentative over even trivial things. for example, if I say, ‘please turn to page 25 for your math homework’ he will yell ‘ I knooooow what page it is mom!!’ this happens even after he asks me what page he needs to do.
      2. he is very controlling with his sister. he will tell her not to talk, not to play near him. he will block her entry into their bedroom.
      3. he is extremely moody. I will be telling him about a trip we are taking or a present I bought for him and his face will resemble a dark cloud and he will frown and be silent and sullen.
      4. he lies. a lot. he will tell me his sister did things to him that never happened. sometimes his lies are outrageous. I will say after a sibling fight ‘ she has her stuff to work on, you have your stuff to work on’. 5 minutes later he will begin to cry and say ‘you said its all my fault and its not. you like her better than me! you always say everything is all my fault!! these incidents leave me stunned and speechless.
      I just don’t get it . frankly, I feel lost as to how to help him. I know he is on a low dose and maybe other parents on here can advise if you think I should ask the Dr, for a higher dose. I am worried about the dose climbing quickly starting at this age..does that mean he will be on a crazy high dose at 8, 10, 15 years old? should I keep it low now to avoid that?

      if anyone has advice about how to address the abive behaviors id also appreciate it. the controlling stuff with his sister is very triggering to me and I think that is the most difficult for me. I stress to him that his sister has every right to talk, enter her own room, etc…but it doesn’t seem to be making a dent.

    • #80530
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      Think of your child’s behavior as a symptom, as communication. Ask yourself what might be triggering him, what he might be trying to tell you. You have to address the underlying reasons for the behavior to make improvement.

      Time for Plan B? 10 Tips for Dealing with an Explosive Child

      Each time you are about to give an instruction, pause and see if you can ask him a leading question instead. In the example you gave of turning to page 25 for math, instead of telling him to turn to page 25, ask him “what page do we need to look at to do your math?” It feels much different to the child, like they have some control, and it also teaches him to think through the process, which is often a lagging skill for those with ADHD.

      As for the medication, it could be the wrong dose, or the wrong medication entirely for your son. Here’s everything you need to know about ADHD medication:

      A Patient’s Primer on the Stimulant Medications Used to Treat ADHD

      Remember, ADHD is a developmental delay, so you have to meet your son where *he* is.

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Trainer on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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