July 4, 2018 at 8:13 am #87596
My daughter has always had major issues with ADHD which have caused our family major heartache over the years. My current concern is her drinking to excess whilst on ADHD meds. Her BP is through the roof. She is lying to me and her psychiatrist about the extent of her problem as she would not be able to cope well without meds which he would definitely stop if he knew. Whilst I really want to help her, I am angry that she is out of control again and my life is being so impacted worrying – am I being selfish? I live down the road at the moment but I really want to move house but my partner feels we have to be around for her. She’s 26 and has a job and own house. I have ADHD myself and have my own issues. Any advice please?
July 4, 2018 at 3:12 pm #87604
I have a son who is 44 years, & I still help him. It has become so stressful that I’m thinking of moving out of state. He has not been able to get a degree, he is extremely absent minded, which drives me crazy. There are multiple other problems. He does not acknowledge the ADD, and won’t listen to anything. He has had multiple counselors, including one who specialized in Adult ADD (he was the worst). There is a clear family history of the disorder in male relatives. What to to? Like you, I have tried everything. The best I can advise is to be good to yourself, but do support her. The disease is devastating but is difficult to treat.
July 5, 2018 at 9:43 am #87624
If your daughter is “out of control” then she isn’t choosing to harm you or herself. Addiction is a very real problem for many with ADHD, and it’s a disease, not a choice. It’s also a lifelong battle, unfortunately.
I do think her psych needs to know that she’s drinking heavily while taking medication. That could be life-threatening. It sucks that she won’t be prescribed ADHD medication at that point, but it’s necessary to protect her life.
All you can do if offer love and compassion and help if she wants it. Until someone sees a need for change and wants to change, they will not accept help. My recommendation would be to not enable, but don’t turn your back on her either. Be there for her, for when she’s ready.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
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