Struggling Once Again

This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  ADHDJack 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #127319

    Sage
    Participant

    So, I’m struggling. I’ve finally started high school, so stress is through the roof. That’s not the only thing this is about, though. My depression has gotten kinda bad, even though I took a test thing that my therapist gave me, and she said I have very, very mild depression. But I think she’s wrong. My anxiety is also acting up, even though I take my meds. My ADHD, though, is by far the worst it has been in a while. My tics are off the walls, I can’t stop moving I can’t stop talking, clinging to people, etc. It sucks, majorly. I mean I know a lot of people have been weirded out by me. Oh, and then there’ the presumption of guilt. The presumption that I will or have donw something wrong, when I haven’t and wasn’t planning on it. I recently made a friend while over at my other friend’s house. This friend just so happened to be a boy. We weren’t allowed to be in a room alone together, “because of the obvious.” Now that really hurt. The presumption that I or he would try to do something. I hate it when people just assume I’m gonna do something wrong. My self-esteem has crumbled, and I’m stating to hate myself again. I was having a pretty good two weeks, and then depression and anxiety hit me with a fricking encyclopedia, so everything fell. I need advice. What do I do? How can I feel better about this?

  • #127329

    Angelacawein
    Participant

    I read your post and I am impressed, you are a smart girl! You made me realize somethings about myself that I also feel. The presumption of guilt, is that an ADHD thing? I also feel that and it makes me feel depressed.
    I am a 49 year old woman with 4 children. I have been through a lot and have seen plenty. I remember being your age and looking back now, if I had listened to my parents, others, I would have saved myself a lot of headaches. I don’t know why I want to tell you this because only a few people know. This happened to me when I was 15 years old. I was in high school and like most kids wanted to be liked, fit in,….. These popular girls asked me to go out with them. I was so excited that they wanted me to hang out. They picked me up and we drove around. They wanted to go to this guys house, one of them was dating a guy that was there. I am thinking ok what could happen with a group of people. I will say that I was really shy and lacking social skills. There was a guy there that was highly liked and came from a good family. He seemed really nice and didn’t think anything bad of him. The girls I came with wanted to leave with guys and go pick up someone else. They said they were coming back. Long story short, I was raped, I said NO!!! He said he was sorry. I didn’t tell anyone. I blamed myself for years. I did something, lead him on, ………
    I want to say this to you. You are a very intelligent girl and seem more mature than I was at your age. I don’t think that whoever is saying you guys are not allowed together in a room. That they don’t trust you or think that you are going to made a bad choice. It is more of a protect thing.
    I have a niece she is 21 years old now and in the Navy. I can’t tell you how many times I heard stuff about her from my older boys. She had some girl and boy friends that she hung around. We were very close and we talked about everything. Some of her guy friends said things that weren’t true. Of course being in school the gossip gets around. I saw one of these friends at Wall-Mart one day, confronted him about what was said. He denied saying it, of course, but the damage was done.

  • #127339

    Sage
    Participant

    Thank you. And wow. Just… wow. That’s awful, I’m so sorry that happened to you. The presumption of guilt isn’t just an ADHD thing, but it often happens a lot more to those with ADHD, so we learn to just deal with nobody trusting you because of your non-existent impulse control. It really sucks and hurts that nobody trusts you because “something may happen or you may do something,” as if it’s our fault every time something happens that involves us. And yeah, I get the wanting to ‘fit in’ part. And those friends of hers are not friends. They’re awful. I hate fake friends, I’ve had them. But thank you for sharing your experience with me. I find that sharing those can help you somewhat move on, and stop blaming yourself.

  • #130848

    ADHDJack
    Participant

    Have you discussed this with your parents or another trusted adult, perhaps at school? Starting high school can be daunting. My daughter always seeks out a teacher or counselor that she knows she can check in with at any time; to calm down, to share feelings, to get unbiased attention, etc. She also finds that exercise helps her overall. Right now she is taking extra walks with our dogs or using the treadmill at home to keep her body moving in a productive way. She says it helps clear her head. I hope things get better for you!

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