Starting school soon and I don't know what to do

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    • #74203

      My son is 4 years old and will be 5 in Oct. I’m very nervous about him starting school. He is extremely hyperactive. I’m nervous he won’t be where he should with starting school. He won’t sit down he doesn’t follow directions good at all. He is very talkative and friendly. I don’t know what to do I have ADHD as well and I know how hard it was for me and I wasn’t as hyperactive as he was. What are some ways I can help him I’ll take any advice!!

      P.s. I REFUSE to put him on any medications as young as he is. I was put on 7 different medications in an 8 period before they found one that worked for him. I won’t let him suffer like that.

    • #74211

      Is it possible to delay starting school until he turns 6? We felt our son was academically, but not emotionally mature enough to start K at 5, so he attended a private 1/2 day K when he was 5. I have never regretted giving him that extra year.

    • #74228

      Does he have to go to school? What about home school or a school for children with ADHD/different learning style? Children with ADHD are very bright and putting them in the wrong environment might destroy their potential and damage their confidence.

    • #74363

      My son is 8 now, but I spent many hours worrying when he was 3 – 7. If I could advise my younger self, I‘d say do not put him in Kindergarten until he is 6. We tried it at 5 after strong encouragement from the school and it was a disaster. I put him back in preschool and it was the best thing I could do at that point. He would cry at night and beg me to go to school with him to help him know how to behave. It’s one thing if your child is having a blast misbehaving, but he was having nightmares, etc. It wasn’t all easy after that, he had a tough year and really acted out. In retrospect I think he was terrified of going back to school. The preschool director, a retired special ed teacher, told me she thought he’d end up in an ED classroom! He had a really good 5K teacher the second time, I had to change his 1st grade teacher, but both 1st & 2nd grade were overa wonderful, and he’s a joy. Give him the gift of time to mature and a great preschool that gets boys. I have not medicated my son yet, but I know it’s coming. It will be okay, just don’t get all worked up and worried because it might be a waste of time like all of mine was! God bless!

    • #74573
      Penny Williams

      I would wait another year to start him. My son also turned 5 in October. We saw how wicked smart he was, and I was a late October kid and did well in school. If I could turn back time…

      Kindergarten was one of the worst years of my life, and it wasn’t a picnic for him either. 1st-4th were brutal as well. At the end of 4th grade, we put our foot down and fought to have him repeat 4th grade. He was so far behind the other kids socially and emotionally, and with skills. He was always bullied and excluded. It was so awful. I knew he needed that extra year to put him a little closer to his peers, and he actually wanted to repeat because he was scared to move on when he was struggling so much. Having him repeat is one of the best choices we have made for him.

      Of course, for many years now (he’s 15, 9th grade) I have kicked myself over and over for starting him young and not having him repeat Kindergarten or a much earlier grade.

      Lastly, I just want to add that ADHD medications have come a long way since the time you were probably a kid. Your experience won’t necessarily be your experience. We had to try many medications for my son, but when we got to the right one it has made such a huge difference for him. He actually wants to take it because he knows how much it helps. Of course, medication is a personal decision, but I wanted to share those insights with you.

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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