Spouse denies I have ADD

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    • #50124
      Frustrated Daily

      I’ve been diagnosed but spouse says I don’t do x, y, and z according to the ADD books, so therefore I have something else. How do I convince my spouse when I have so many other symptoms?

    • #50148

      Your ADHD isn’t the same as mine, and your’s isn’t the same as anyone elses.

      If you’re female, tell them to read about females. There’s a big difference between men and women with ADHD/ADD.

    • #50158

      I’ve tried to talk to my husband about my ADHD, but I can tell he thinks I’m just trying to make an excuse for my forgetfulness, impulsiveness, disorganization,etc. It’s horrible not having any understanding or patience from him.

    • #50162

      So he’s harassing you about your ADD traits.

      Harassing is abuse.
      My advise is to leave before you’re brought down to the horrors of being an abused woman.

      If you have kids, it’s devastating for them to hear their mother being diminished like that.

      Remember the heredity. Your kids inherit the ADHD from you and hearing that it’s just an excuse will scar them for life.

      If you can’t turn him around, then just leave.

    • #50269
      Penny Williams

      ADHD expert, Beth Main, responded to this exact question on ADDitude:

      Enlightening an ADHD Non-Believer

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #51739

      I don’t have a spouse, but I think this is a common issue. People around me constantly dismiss my ADD issues in a way that they would never dismiss another disability. You would never tell someone who’s blind to just suck it up and read the menu, or tell a someone who’s paralyzed that walking a mile shouldn’t really be a big deal. I can’t afford treatment, so I have to just manage the best I can. My family sees my inability to handle a 40 hour work week (I work 30 hours) as laziness, even though I haven’t had more than a long weekend off in 17 years, and the 30 hours leaves me too exhausted to have friends. I wish people would take it seriously, but they don’t or won’t and I don’t expect to see that change anytime soon.

    • #51780

      Stunned: Thanks so much for all that info! I’ll definitely look into those options!

    • #51775

      June 25, 2017

      Dear Anomalocaris,
      1. Please talk to your pharmacist because some drug companies will provide free medication to those in need.
      2. Maybe one of these clinics could help, http://www.nafcclinics.org/ .
      3. Maybe your doctor could donate samples of the medicine you need which would allow you to work more hours
      and thus be able to afford the medicine with the extra income the following month? Your doctor could
      ask the drug company sales rep for an amount equal to your regular monthly prescription and then pass it on to you.
      4. Maybe a charity for ADHD could advise another source for free medication to help you to be able to work
      that extra ten hours a week.
      5. Maybe your church could pay for your prescription as part of their efforts to help those in need in
      their community? With your new found focus you could then be able to work the extra 10 hours and
      repay that donation ten times over?
      5. Please show my post to your family because it seems to me that they really want you to be lazy by
      refusing to cover the first three months of your medicine. Your family could be very jealous of your
      success even at 30 hours per week, suffer from ADHD themselves and be in denial, or perhaps be too old
      to adapt to changes in their life.

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