November 20, 2019 at 12:23 pm #134977leanzParticipant
How has your social life affected because of your child’s ADHD?
I sometimes feel alone and unsupported as the friend circle has definitely reduced.
Wonder what all I can do to help with this.
November 22, 2019 at 2:21 pm #135232Penny WilliamsKeymaster
I’m an extreme introvert with social anxiety, so I wasn’t social anyway. LOL.
Your other mom friends don’t know what they don’t know. And they can’t support you in what they don’t know. Just know that they’re not the friends to support you in the ADHD parenting struggles, and find some parents who get it that you can lean on for that kind of support.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
November 27, 2019 at 10:32 pm #135574leanzParticipant
Thank you Penny for taking time to reply.
What you mentioned is right. Thanks again!
December 2, 2019 at 11:06 am #135653christinecmtParticipant
Yes, yes, yes it does. If it isn’t people just not getting it, it is the extreme exhaustion from the emotional ups and downs, lots of downs, taking its toll on the entire family. We have a teenage daughter with ADHD, ODC and Anxiety. We have been playing with meds to help regulate her extreme emotions and depression. Any time I try to relate to a fellow Mom, I get “Oh, she is just being a teen”. I have one awesome cousin who listens to me, lets me vent and offers heartfelt reassurance, she has been a lifesaver. ADHD is all consuming, try to make time to NOT think about it. I am slowly discovering that I must take care of myself, find time, find support, exercise, meditate, go for a walk. You can’t take care of your kid if you are not taking care of yourself.
Hang in there and good luck
December 16, 2019 at 10:52 am #firstname.lastname@example.orgParticipant
Oh, it has changed so much. I was never particularly close with my family, but now it feels almost non-existent. I get blamed for being a single parent, and told if there was a “man” in the house, my son wouldn’t act this way. That I am not strict enough, that I am this, and that, that I shouldn’t medicate him, or let him “get away” with his behavior. My brother and his family moved here, and my mom immediately started babysitting for them, even though it’s a two-parent home and they have money to spare, and I begged her for years babysit, for even just an hour, so I can have some time to myself, and she always made up excuses as to why she can’t. The thing is, my son isn’t poorly behaved, he’s just a bit more rambunctious. People just assume ADHD means they are just hyper and struggle with focusing, but it is so layered and has so many other things that affect them so much more.
December 17, 2019 at 8:25 am #136668adhdmdParticipant
Yes, yes, yes. There is a local mom’s group and while I think I have made a few friends, it seems that my family (specifically kids and husband) are often excluded from group activities. Then, I’ll see photos of these moms (and families) at weekend getaways and other holiday parties and activities. I realize that we just don’t fit in and my kid/husband combo are too much or something like that. It’s definitely lonely. I try not to take it personally. Also, I get tired from dealing with the ADHD behavior from kids/spouse and I cringe when people ask how my kid is doing. I don’t want to be inauthentic, which I feel like people can tell, but I don’t want to burden them or constantly talk about my kid’s struggles.
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