So much pain

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    • #101555
      Tomhurting
      Participant

      I’m a 43 yr old single father of 2. I have a positive, peaceful divorce with shared custody.

      All my life I felt different. It took me until about 5 yrs ago to figure out for myself that I have ADHD. My doctor and therapist don’t seem to know much about it but the doctor has tried prescribing Vyvance which caused new problems of its own, so I quit.

      3 weeks ago my girlfriend of 6 months dumped me. I know everyone goes through such things but the pain is unbelievable. I took 6 days off work and when I tried going back I broke down and got sent home.

      There’s a good article on here about rejection sensitive dysphoria which is now very clear to me that I suffer from.

      It’s been 3 weeks, I’ve met with a therapist several times, cleaned up a lot of my house, tried being positive, talked to all my friends (who are now understandably getting sick of me)

      I don’t know what else to do. The only thing I can think of is to talk to others with ADHD. Is this something anyone can relate to? Are there many of us out there? How can I find and connect with others with ADHD?

    • #101788
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      You’re definitely not alone. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria can drag out the pain of rejection for sure. You’re doing all the right things, so it’s probably just a matter of time and distance from the experience now.

      “How Can I Get a Date to Accept Me, ADHD and All?”

      Relationship Rehab

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #101863
      Tomhurting
      Participant

      Thanks for your reply. Time and distance really resonates. I understand but I don’t feel it. She doesn’t want to stay with me yet I beg her to. She’s blocked me but earlier said “No promises, maybe in the future depending on how I feel.”

      We had a big fight and she just left. When I told her I had ADHD and showed her a book with the symptoms, her eyes kinda bulged. She hung around for a couple weeks, but I think it was one of the big things that scared her off. The rest of the things that scared her off were my symptoms :/

    • #101896
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      If ADHD scared her off, then she’s not the right person for you. It’s hard to see that when you’re in the middle of the emotions of it all, but it’s reality.

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #102101
      kazjakdude
      Participant

      Hey that sounds like something that I might suffer from. I HATE rejection. Totally scared of it. Will go to amazing lengths to avoid it!!. This forum is a nice place with people who care. Keep on chatting! And keep on keeping on. You are a good person.

    • #102172
      Tomhurting
      Participant

      Thanks for your support kazjakdude and Penny.

    • #102707
      janag
      Participant

      Hi Tom,

      Can you please elaborate on how your ADHD demonstrate in your everyday life and your relationship?

      For instance I know, it takes a very strong and stable individual to be with me – my gorgeous and amazing husband.

      He tells me, he doesn’t know how to handle me at times and I am fully aware of it.

      If I had a husband who is emotionally unstable, to be fair, I don’t think we would last long.

      Boy, when my depressive mood hits me and it hits hard, I can be quite a handful, to say the least.

      As many of you know, when you feel your emotions DEEPLY and INTENSELY, there is no rationalising it.

      When you are hurting, you will say or do anything, to make a pain go away.

      In a process, your spouse gets caught up right in the middle.

      Perhaps it is difficult to differentiate when your ADHD is speaking and when it is really you.

      I normally tell my husband I had a BPD moment and it was NOT me speaking with him…

    • #102978
      Hernandes
      Participant

      I have heard about Kratom can be relieved of pain. Did you try this ever?

    • #103008
      justinross
      Participant

      Hi Tom,

      I will like you to first put it to you that you are nice person do not give up i know of cases similar to yours but they kept pushing and everything turned out well you just have to stay focus. Are you on any medication now?

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