January 21, 2019 at 10:49 am #106998vladisaevgParticipant
Obviously, between the pay checks I often suffer from no money in my pocket, as most ADHDers are, and during the long days waiting for next pay check i schedule 100 things for the pay day or next day or two after.. Once it happens, I do not feel like dealing with the most items on my multi-colored calendars that are talking to each other (i am a computer programmer, so i refine this process even more 🙂 .. ) , emailing each other, adjusting things with each other , etc.. ALmost like i am not even needed for their operations 🙂 all of which are supposed to be concerting me and about me … (…’Being John Malcovich’ theme…. )
Todays calendars and technologies are great, yet. However when the items start all popping up HEAVILY during first couple of days especially (a lot are URGENT priorities, deadline payments, etc…) I use snooze, Postpone, and other buttons and tricks NOT to deal with them immediately as they pop up one after another.
Then later I look at all backlog and get overwhelemed, and honestly do not want to deal with any of them or most of them… For which, of course, i bitch at myself as well :)… AND THEN come to conclusion ‘oh well, i failed these 35 items, why not send the other 55 to hell as well, forget about it altogether, go drink a few beers (that throws me out of kilter for a few more days, even if i drink not much), smoke something, engage into an (expensive!) exciting activity like playing Poker, …… i don’t need to continue, you all know what i am talking about. Of course, money end soon, and the unrepaired car or notpaid cell phone bill remain outstanding UNRESOVLABLE issues, and have NO INTERTEST OR DESIRE AT ALL to resolve the PILED UP monster…. money end soon, and most not-dealt-with-items get SNOOZED till the next pay day to popup, thus making a clutter not consisting of 35 items but 135 already.
Is there any hope for me, or should I just live like that for as long as i can and be just thankful for being alive and for still managing my job and for the calendars and technology in particular, and worry about nothing? i am a 50 y.o. male who IS IS IS truly thankful for being alive (considering my all prior life in reckless youth…), and for the sheer ability to type these lines. For being able to turn on the car engine and the heater goes on and warms me in between the snow hills where i am parked most of the time… For all the medications and psychiatrists altogeter (both of which have done almost nothing for me over the years, I have tried 1000 medicines by 100 psychiatrist over a couple of decades…)… 🙂 ?
I live in my car now. In the middle of winter and snow… Calendar popups popup periodically on 3 computers and cell phone, and i am periodically juggling between pressing SNOOZE buttons on all of them, almost like as if i was playing drums … one man fking show… 🙁 ,…
That is how far the above-described process has thrown me down to during past several months alone… 🙁
Do you think I am still doing fine and am exagerrating my predicaments? 🙂
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