Sleepover

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    • #58222
      chrisindia
      Participant

      Advice needed!!
      My son is 9 1/2 years old and has been on one sleepover. The sleepover was with a family we are close to that has a son close in age. We know the parents well and they are aware that my son has ADHD, anxiety and sensory issues. He received his first birthday party sleepover invite at a family’s house that we do not know. I really want him to be able to go but after his meds have worn off, he becomes very hyper, has a hard time falling asleep and also has a hard time being in a group of more than 2 kids. Yes, I am anxious about and recognize that a lot of this is probably my anxiety but I am not sure we should let him go. I also do not know how to address this with other parents that we don’t know. How do I explain what they are potentially up against without sounding completely overprotective and making my son sound like a bad child?

    • #58259
      BRLK
      Participant

      I’m not sure this is helpful, but I would feel the same way. I’m not sure in my son’s case I would let him go – I know that sounds overly protective, and I would be especially torn because for my guy it’s really hard to make friends so I try and encourage him to go to anything he is invited to. Things I might consider are letting him go for the evening but picking him up before it’s really late if you think he’d be ok with that. You might also talk to his doctor to see if they can recommend a short acting med to supplement his normal meds for just this occasion. My son has trouble with his impulsivity after his meds wear off so he takes a short acting pill on the two days per week that he participates in an evening sport. The downside is that it can make it hard for him to get to sleep those nights but for a sleepover that might not be a big deal. Finally, I think you have to talk to the parents and find out how they feel about having him. If you send him and he acts in a way that surprises everyone, it could damage the friendships he has with these kiddos and that in the long term would be worse than him being disappointed about missing the sleepover. Just one mom’s opinion.

    • #58398
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      I would be very worried as well. However, I’ve learned that I cannot keep my son from having childhood experiences due to my own fears of what might happen.

      First, make sure your son wants to go to the party, and wants to stay all night. My son often wanted to, but would call to be picked up before time to go to sleep. After a couple of those instances, we started planning for him to go, but not sleep over. The other parents were always fine with that. He was 13 or 14 before he actually stayed the night with a friend.

      After determining that he does want to go and does want to stay the night, determine what you can do to make it as successful as possible. Be honest with the hosting parent(s) and let them know he has ADHD and may have more energy later in the day as the excitement builds (you don’t have to talk medication with them). Let them know that it’s ok to call you if he wants to come home early. You can set the stage without making it sound like he will be a handful or a troublemaker.

      Here’s more on sleepovers and ADHD:

      Is Your Child Ready for an Overnight Stay?

      The Big Sleepover

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #58584
      gentlygenli
      Participant

      Give him another dose and pick him up at 10:30pm or whenever the parents are heading to bed.

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