Selfish?

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    • #55986
      ADD_Dan
      Participant

      So i became obsessed with building a pc as it’s something I’ve always really wanted to do but never really had the money. I work in IT and I love computers and pc gaming. I built a decent pc using cheap and second hand parts. My wife calls me selfish for spending the money even though i thought i did well to not spend much. Am I just being a selfish asshole for doing this? I had this driving force to do it even if it meant upsetting my wife. I don’t even have time these days to play computer but I just had to finish it. Trying to justify it to my wife hasn’t been successful, to put it nicely.

    • #56092
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      Discussing it with her prior might have been a good idea. While you were careful to build it as inexpensively as possible, that might not be what she’s upset about.

      At this point, it’s done, so now you have to work on getting past it together. Communication is key.

      Here are some relationship communication strategies when you have ADHD:

      11 Rules for Fighting Right and Forgiving Faster

      How Learning to Listen Might Save Your Marriage

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #58611
      gentlygenli
      Participant

      I had this driving force to do it even if it meant upsetting my wife. I don’t even have time these days to play computer but I just had to finish it.

      Yeah, I’d say that’s pretty textbook definition selfish as well as foolish. You made a major purchase out of joint money without consulting her and with the acknowledgement that you don’t really care about her opinions just to scratch an itch.

      You just dropped a grenade into your marriage because she’s worth less to you that that computer and you basically told her so through actions and deeds.

      Dude. This isn’t good.

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