Self-Sabotage & Loss of Motivation

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This topic contains 11 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by  strwbry 4 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #85038

    ml23123
    Participant

    Recently, as my LSAT test date nears (it’s in two weeks), I have noticed that I am exhibiting self-sabotaging bx’s and a lack of ability to focus and motivate myself. It is an incredibly important step in my life and I don’t really know how to stop myself falling back into old patterns of bx that are harmful to my success. Looking back on other important events and dates, I recognized the same types of bx’s (but in different forms; distractions regarding games, alcohol, etc..) as the date came closer. I don’t want to continue to fall back into old habits and sabotage myself further.

    I wonder if anyone else has noticed this about themselves and has been able to change this to succeed and go through the finish line. If so, how did you do so?

  • #85041

    MrNeutron
    Participant

    Are you feeling tired or exhausted underneath it all?

    • #85042

      ml23123
      Participant

      Not really, the only real time I feel tired/ exhausted would be after working out, but it doesn’t seem like that is underlying everything.

  • #85050

    dmu1970
    Participant

    I’m wondering if this is another variation of ADHDers who never finish projects for example ? Difficulty tying up loose ends? I would hire an ADHD coach to help hold you responsible and it might help uncover why you do it. My house is full of unfinished projects. I wish you the best !

  • #85061

    kaylin
    Participant

    This is most definitely me..to a T!

    I’m trying to find ap psychiatrist or psychologist who can help me address it. so very frustrating. and the accompanying guilt can be overwhelming.

  • #85116

    ADHDmomma
    Keymaster

    I second the recommendation to hire an ADHD Coach. He or she can keep you accountable until you cross this finish line.

    20 Reasons To Hire an ADHD Coach

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #85266

    heide.lynn.field
    Participant

    New to all of this info, so relieved I am not just “nuts”….feel like I found my tribe here and am looking for an ADHD coach. Any suggestions??

  • #85464

    Uncle Dharma
    Participant

    One psych I chatted with about my lack of motivation to get started, and also to finish up, suggested:
    – set one day to do project A
    – another day to do project B

    If you are in full-time employment, then set aside Tuesday evening to do your accounts, Wednesday evening to do another thing, and so on.

    A best selling author was interviewed recently. How did she work full-time and write a novel?
    She came home, sat down for one hour and wrote.
    Then, she changed out of her work clothes, started to organise dinner, and all the other stuff.
    The trick was that did not do anything that would distract her.

    • This reply was modified 5 months, 2 weeks ago by  Uncle Dharma.
  • #88009

    adore.d.d
    Participant

    I’m female in my 30’s and was diagnosed with ADHD in my late 20’s. I felt very misunderstood my whole life. The diagnosis has helped me not feel like I’m a total lost cause but because of all the stigma behind the diagnosis I still alone.

    I feel like to have any kind of stability I need support. But I have no one to help me. Parents have never been a shoulder, friends that’s funny. Somewhere along the way I’ve seem to messed that up.

    So, how can you get proper help when I don’t have the ability to get a full time job. So because ur not completely disabled there is no help. Than the depression that is already there begins to takes its hold especially when I’m hit with the migraines that will last up to a week.

    Life always Worried, feeling alone, misunderstood, painful headaches,and locked up inside my own self.

    I’m not a quiter even though I want to give up. I always start out with the best intentions but the motivation gets lost in a world full of negatives.

    & People effect me so deeply, it’s like I can actually feel how they feel.

    I make silly mistakes all the time which canget really annoying you don’t understand howcould they…

    How can I start when I don’t see the point because I’ll just end up where I started… And starting over and over and over… Only to try again to start over… Very misunderstood

    These are my thoughts…

    • This reply was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by  adore.d.d.
  • #88020

    Oldoc
    Participant

    Can only speak for myself and I am still not onto of it . I blame the nature of the beast that is ADHD. I think I have a fear of success! This I suspect is due to an underlying paradoxical fear of failure. Although I am highly capable I know that if I do really well then people will have higher expectations I also know form brutal post experience that I have the ability to suddenly screw things up at any time and let everybody down.

  • #88129

    strwbry
    Participant

    I do this all the time, or at least I used to. Less often now.

    Somewhere in the back of my brain, I believe that I am incapable, that I will fail. Failing by CHOOSING not to do it is somehow much less painful that failing after honestly trying. It’s a trick that my brain plays on me. Still does sometimes.

    I try to cope with this: I take a deep breath, let go of the fear, and try. I think about what will happen if I am successful, what my end goal is, and what I really want to get to, and somehow, it becomes worth it. I’d rather go through the pain of honestly failing than giving up on the goal. Then, I kick my butt into gear, because I’m still terrified of failing. Ha! Somehow, the fear of failure, the risk that I’ve decided to take, fuels my motivation to give it everything I’ve got, because there is no alternative. Adrenaline kicks in, and usually, I’m successful. If I do fail, I get one day to pout, then I jump right back in because even though I failed, failure is still not an option. It’s like keying into the hyperfocus part of your brain to motivate past the fear. It feels like an adventure, or a video game. Same chemical feedback. It’s weird, but it works for me.

    Hope this helps! Best of luck on your LSAT! If you’ve gotten this far, you’ve got what it takes to finish it! 🙂

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