December 3, 2019 at 6:49 pm #135792
Hi Everyone – I am recently remarried to a man with a 14 year old son with ADHD. Due to circumstances with my step sons mother, he has been under our care since August. He seemed to be doing well in school but it has dropped off over time. I hear he has always struggled with school and I am almost 100% positive while under the care of his mother, bad habits have formed with how to handle school and his ADHD. I do not know what to do or where to turn or where to start with what we should be doing to help him. My son and my other step son are straight A kids without ADHD, so navigating this is very difficult for me. I am open to any suggestions. I see him struggle and not prioritize and it makes things worse. I try to encourage him and help him, but when it comes to things like studying for a test, I am at a loss. I feel like he needs more structure and routine and even directions on how to study. It is very discouraging to me because I can tell he wants to do better. I do not feel like I have the right tools to teach him how to handle this. Does anyone have tips, websites, personal experience to share that may help? I can truly see in him that he wants to do well. – Thank you for any help in advance.
December 4, 2019 at 10:27 am #135819
“I feel like he needs more structure and routine and even directions on how to study.” YES! That’s exactly right.
Many individuals with ADHD struggle with executive functioning. That impacts planning, organization, time management, task initiation, emotional regulation, and more. It is the daily FUNCTIONING skills.
Lots of structure and routine can help. Teach him how to use a calendar, how to plan projects by chunking. Provide timers and technology that can fill in the gaps — like calendars and alerts on smartphones. I have a check-in with my son every day after school. I ask leading questions to help him make a plan. “Tell me what you have for homework today (which should be recorded in calendar or planner, but rarely is).” “What do you want to work on first?” etc… And I have him write out the plan as he makes it, then he can use it as a checklist and cross off things as he makes progress.
Kids do well if they can. That means he needs accommodations and help to fill in where he’s weak so he can do well, as he clearly wants to.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
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