scared of becoming an adult w adhd
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I’m currently in college and really not doing well. I believe that there is no place for me in the academic or professional world when I am unmedicated. I have an awful memory and can’t remember assigned tasks or conversations with bosses. I can’t process or retain anything that I hear (so online lecture classes are incredibly difficult), I can’t read unless in the perfect environment, and I overall am not a successful member of society. When I’m on meds, I can scrape by and do a little better with all of these things but I still require an insane amount of accommodations and I’m really scared about transitioning to an environment where accommodations aren’t easily accessible (thanks to the ADA requiring childhood diagnosis and the sexist medical field for not diagnosing me early because I wasn’t a hyperactive boy). When I do take my medicine, I feel so terrible. I’ve tried so many medications and I have bad side effects with all of them. I’m always so irritable and restless and very unpleasant to be around. I don’t really know where I’m going with this post. It’s just really hard to feel like I have to work 3 or 4 times harder than my neurotypical peers and that I’m still not getting anywhere positive. I’m nervous and hopeless about my future as an adult in a world not designed for my brain.
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In my mid-40s, my 7 year old was diagnosed with ADD. Then I began to see similarities in me, my family. I was so relieved to be able to have a reason for my struggles, similar to yours. Now 51, I’m questioning this leap of faith I had in a diagnosis. My son’s and my emotional and even physical behaviors are reflective of a threatening environment, past and present. Family or school weren’t able to admit or identify our pain. So neither could we. Now, after all your years of “treatment” and trying a million different ways to comply with the adults and peers, you are now expected to not only continue to submit but also somehow know how to be the master of your life, by yourself, without ever having the agency to choose your best version of you. Until now, perhaps? School, shmool.
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I think the most powerful thing is truly understanding how your brain works — strengths and challenges — and keeping that in mind as you make life decisions.
Yes, medication and treatment are important, but they’re only one piece of the puzzle.
Another piece is dealing with the emotions that come with diagnosis.
Your Strengths Inventory: Repairing Self-Esteem After an ADHD Diagnosis
Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach, Podcaster & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism -
If your medication makes you feel terrible, it’s probably not the right medication. Did a regular doctor diagnose you, or a specialist? I was diagnosed by a psyhciatrist with a specialty in ADD. Unfortunately, he’s no longer available, and my GP just doesn’t have the knowledge to manage my case.
One thing that will help: Read Driven to Distraction by Hallowell & Ratey. Hallowell is one of the foremost ADD experts. The case studies they describe will show you how ADD at various ages can be managed, and their explanations (which are very readable, not overly academic) will help you understand your mind.
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