RSD Poem

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    • #168351

      I haven’t written much poetry in my life, but somehow found myself writing this with so much extra time on my hands. Thought is worth sharing with people most likely to understand it. Stay healthy, everyone! 🙂

      I walk through life with an open wound
      Invisible to the eye
      But easily infected
      By any disapproving sigh.

      When at all rejected
      Be it word or glance or thought,
      Utterly dejected,
      I am lost and I am caught

      In the depths of my emotion
      Out of reach of logic’s light
      I chastise all my notions
      That I had in me strength to fight

      That I had strength to overcome
      And take the risk I took:
      Exposing pale skin to the sun,
      Ending scorched from head to foot.

      How does such a wound exist?
      I’ve never had a broken heart!
      But I have an endless list
      Of moments that tore me apart

      These moments were to me the same
      As broken hearts for others.
      My brain betrays me, inventing shame
      Born this way, refusing to be smuthered.

      Could it ever, my open wound heal?
      Could I learn to weather the storm?
      Could I ever, myself reveal
      And survive the scrutiny, hurt and scorn?

      I hope, oh, how I hope and pray
      The day will come when I
      Can love and laugh and dance and play
      In spite of disapproving sighs.

    • #168447

      This is excellent.

      And I need to saw this whole Quarantine is stoking my RSD something fierce.
      The slightest perceived disapproval send me down the rumination spiral into darkness

      After such an event last night and I decided to try and stop it I confronted my wife with my perception
      of the conversation had after dinner that started the spiral in me again. She told me my perception was wrong.
      And as well talked about it My RSD was trying to take over. I broke down crying sharing with her how in 2018 I was suicidal for a large chunk of that year. Sharing that brought back all that pain and has me crying for then next 14 hours in fact today I have been on the verge all day.

      I do hope it was worth it and she begins to understand my fragile soul

    • #169434

      That is so relatable!

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