RSD Poem

[syddog9]

I haven’t written much poetry in my life, but somehow found myself writing this with so much extra time on my hands. Thought is worth sharing with people most likely to understand it. Stay healthy, everyone! 🙂

OPEN WOUND
I walk through life with an open wound
Invisible to the eye
But easily infected
By any disapproving sigh.

When at all rejected
Be it word or glance or thought,
Utterly dejected,
I am lost and I am caught

In the depths of my emotion
Out of reach of logic’s light
I chastise all my notions
That I had in me strength to fight

That I had strength to overcome
And take the risk I took:
Exposing pale skin to the sun,
Ending scorched from head to foot.

How does such a wound exist?
I’ve never had a broken heart!
But I have an endless list
Of moments that tore me apart

These moments were to me the same
As broken hearts for others.
My brain betrays me, inventing shame
Born this way, refusing to be smuthered.

Could it ever, my open wound heal?
Could I learn to weather the storm?
Could I ever, myself reveal
And survive the scrutiny, hurt and scorn?

I hope, oh, how I hope and pray
The day will come when I
Can love and laugh and dance and play
In spite of disapproving sighs.

[ninjaroo]

This is excellent.

And I need to saw this whole Quarantine is stoking my RSD something fierce.
The slightest perceived disapproval send me down the rumination spiral into darkness

After such an event last night and I decided to try and stop it I confronted my wife with my perception
of the conversation had after dinner that started the spiral in me again. She told me my perception was wrong.
And as well talked about it My RSD was trying to take over. I broke down crying sharing with her how in 2018 I was suicidal for a large chunk of that year. Sharing that brought back all that pain and has me crying for then next 14 hours in fact today I have been on the verge all day.

I do hope it was worth it and she begins to understand my fragile soul

[ADHDMaddie]

That is so relatable!

[Author]

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