Relationship help can’t cope

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    • #109937
      nalaboo
      Participant

      I think we are falling apart I can’t cope with him and he can’t seem to cope with me we seem to be arguing over the silliest things at least a couple times a day we haven’t cuddled for the past few nights as he has been in a mood with me before going to sleep and says I don’t deserve them

      I just feel like we are falling apart everything I do annoys him it’s really hurting me I have my own mental illnesses so I am struggling a lot! He doesn’t seem to care if I cry myself to sleep because of him or if I feel awful because of him saying things to me

    • #109975
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      There are certain communication tactics that work well for relationships with ADHD in the mix.

      Don’t Just Talk, Communicate

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #110090
      Mabvisions
      Participant

      I’m in the same boat. My husband and I have been together for 7 years and it took till last year for him to finally see someone to get diagnosed. Our marriage is falling apart. He got medicated but then we lost our health insurance and can’t afford to go back yet. I keep telling him we can’t afford him to not go back. I’m the bread winner currently so, he is home during the day with our toddler. This has been the worst thing ever for his ADHD. He is supposed to be applying for jobs and hasn’t applied to more than 1 job in 4 months. This has led to him hating on my “dream job” and ripping me and it apart. We fight all the time. I feel like I’m drowning. He has angry out bursts a lot which I can’t take because I’m a trauma survivor with a Narcissist for a Dad, so yelling literally paralyzes me. I suggested marriage counseling for ADHD today but it put him on the defensive. Because I have had therapy for trauma, he uses that as why our relationship has issues even though every article I read about ADHD spouses are the exact fights we have. I can’t function like this anymore. The only thing that has made me feel better in days, was reading your post. Thank you! Thank you for helping me feel not alone.

    • #110883
      prettymuchoverit
      Participant

      In the beginning of the relationship we were the source of their hyperfocus. Now we just don’t entertain them enough so they don’t focus on us anymore. I’ve been married to my husband for six years and I’m over it. We don’t snuggle, hug, kiss, have sex, ever. I am so tired of hearing “it’s my ADHD” for everything. He doesn’t help with the housework, he doesn’t pay any attention to me, he doesn’t pet the dogs anymore, he sits around drinking beer and doing stuff on the computer. The man can watch TV, look at his phone and have a laptop in his lap all at the same time. I can’t stand it anymore. It’s not gonna change and it’s not going to get better. Get out while you can. Hopefully you don’t have children yet.

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