Tagged: help with assignment
November 2, 2017 at 12:31 pm #67033
My son has an IEP and Im begging for a 1:1 aide right now because he just simply REFUSES to do any class work or homework..He literally in class sits there and does nothing if its not on a ipad or computer screen..but sometimes even that doesn’t get done. At home trying to do the homework is like pulling teeth from a tiger sometimes i give up after 2 hours..but what I can’t understand stand or get him to tell me is WHY he feels he doesn’t need to do it..he’s on medication Concerta 36mg and in behavioral therapy but I can’t figure what is the block this year..last year was like a dream this year is a nightmare..Should I review his IEP again or call a meeting?? All he says when I ask him is he can’t and he stomps off..He’s in 4th grade this year..Any help would be so appreciated
November 2, 2017 at 12:57 pm #67041
If you havent already, I would recommend a meeting with his teachers. Is he being bullied? Is he distracted by others that he is sitting around?
My son was diagnosed with I-ADHD 10 years ago. It was so easy to manage early on but as they get older the work gets harder. He may feel its too much and mentally shuts down…unfortunately with everything. My son is now a junior in high school and what was a very predictable routine for him in years past has changed. He is now starting to drop the ball on homework assignments, fail to complete chores and becoming temperamental when trying to discuss these things with him. We may be back to medication in short order. I would love to tell you that it gets easier, it does for a while and then hormones kick it.
Have you tried a reward based system when he actually does his homework? When my son was that age, we did “pajama ice cream runs” when he had a good week and completed all his assignments.
Hang in there mom! You are on the right track.
November 2, 2017 at 4:42 pm #67064
My son is in the 5th Grade and he started off the year doing the same thing. He would do his homework in the afterschool program but I was later told by his ELA teacher that he refused to read in class. I was so sad and frustrated. I asked him why he refused to read in class and he said it is hard for him to keep up with the class while reading the book. He has an IEP but it still feels like some of the teachers have little knowledge of ADHD and the classic symptoms. I signed him up for extra help for the subjects he finds most difficult. The teachers said that he is improving. I told him that if he refuses to read then he cannot play video games at home. I told him that trying is the most important thing he can do and that asking for help is more than ok.
I also have ADHD so it is really hard for me to keep the pace going but I do my best. Maybe your son can read the audio books? That was an alternative for my son and it helped him follow along with the story.
Keep the line of communication open with all of his teachers and give yourself a pat on the back. It is not easy so remember to be kind to yourself when it gets rough.
November 6, 2017 at 9:42 am #67376
While it sounds like he cannot communicate it just yet, there is a reason he’s not doing the work. There’s a barrier to discover and address. I’d ask for a meeting, but I’d ask that a Functional Behavior Assessment be done to uncover the reasons behind it.
Possible reasons could be:
– Undiagnosed learning disability
– Overwhelming environment
– Overwhelmed by the work (format, volume, etc)
– Not “connecting” with the teacher, maybe an adversarial relationship
– Couldn’t meet his own expectations so quit trying
– Couldn’t meet teacher/parent expectations so quit trying
– Can’t focus in the classroom
– Struggles with executive functioning, like task initiation, knowing where to start, etc.
– The stress is causing cognitive fog and dysfunction
It’s really important to discover the underlying reasons and address them. Punishment won’t change the reason for the behavior, nor nagging and begging (been there, tried that).
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
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