Rant?

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    • #196236
      twin1
      Participant

      I’m just so sick of living like this. I”m sick of not having answers and I’m sick of it being so hard to even try getting some. I’m 28 and it’s been 10 years since I started treating my ADHD. I can’t tell you how sick of stimulant medication I am and how strongly I would advise my 18 year old self to just keep going, keep crying through assignments, and keep doing what it took without medication no matter how painful, without Adderall. I knew the risks back when I started taking it, and that there were hardly any longitudinal studies to say what these medications might do over time, and for that reason I don’t blame anyone for the way I feel now. But I do want to say to anyone who thinks they need that stuff to get through college, when they’ve “somehow” managed to succeed in honors-level courses through middle and high school, that medication won’t make studying and learning any less painful in the end. There is a reason our brains hurt when we try so hard to produce quality work without medication, and it’s because that’s what it takes; there is no way around that!!! Medicating ourselves just so that we can be more like the rest of society is just causing our brains to work overtime in ways it was never meant to…and how can anyone argue that this is not going to prove detrimental to the ADHD brain over time? I’m already feeling it after 10 years, and I honestly don’t see myself being able to provide any kind of reflection in another 10. It’s just that bad.

    • #196264
      crmancl
      Participant

      Hi, yes i feel the same way. And i have been feeling this way and saying these things for not 10, but 20 years! I am 38 and started taking adderall (it was dexedrine back then) when i was 19.

      Long term effects? Well short term effects are that you can’t get out of bed without it, and for those who take more of their Rx than prescribed (nearly everyone I’ve heard of) that means a week or more in bed every month.
      Dry mouth coupled with sugar binges brings cavities that turn into root canals that turn into extractions if you’re poor. Dry skin makes you spend a shit ton on intense lotions and eczema creams, because if your hands are dry you can’t hold anything and drop things constantly. Dry skin means aging so facially– you’d better moisturize!
      The medication does allow you to enjoy the task at hand, no matter how tedious or grim, but that’s because its meth. Forget about sleeping every night, every other if you’re not abusing alcohol as well which many do to take the edge off or to sleep. I can’t, but many people do adopt drinking problems with adderall. If you take too much medication you become hyper-focused on the stupidest shit and can’t seem to disengage. HOURS spent on….what? The dishes! Washing the corners of the floor, cleaning your car, styling your hair! SHOPPING!!! I was once at superwalmart for NINE HOURS! What the actual f#$%!
      Long term effects? In my twenties i was able to get away with a lot in terms of taking 100mg of adderall a day and not really experiencing a great deal of physical consequences. Not sleeping, eating cookies and sprite, whiskey, still i looked like a million dollars and sharp as a tack!
      In my thirties, that continued behavior has my memory pretty fuzzy, i can feel the level of dumber that i have become, my lateness has become extreme lateness, got crowns on some teeth but 4 or 5 extractions (how ghetto, i know), i can’t really walk up stairs but i also smoke cigarettes. Unable to carry groceries my body is worn out and nothing has really been accomplished from two decades of adderall dependency. WHY DID I EVER START THIS DRUG!!!???

      You miss out on life. While your friends and family are enjoying one another you are sitting in your car, alone, playing boggle on your phone or something… when you’re on the drug you don’t really feel like socializing, you want to get things done! At first adderall helped me get things done, then i would get things undone, and thats kind of where it plateaued.
      After much observation i can tell you, if you do not already have a strong sense of direction, if you are not disciplined, this drug will not help you. It can fuel the car but it cannot steer the wheel.

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