August 27, 2019 at 3:52 pm #126606Christy46Participant
hope someone can give me some advice?….
My son has ADHD and has had some very unsettled times during the last year or so. Police have had to be called and I had to regularly restrain him. As a last resort we had to have him removed from house due to his destructive / dangerous behaviour, around 18 months ago.
My son is 12 years old, we also have three other younger children, who he was targeting.
We decided to take him out of his residential care home due to concerns that staff were not able to keep him safe and his behaviour was getting out of control and we were frightened that his actions and the way the staff dealt with them, could have made it difficult to have him back home in the future. They were ringing the police due to damage being caused and restrained him which resulted in him being taken to the local A&E department.
We have had him back now for around three months. During this time we have had some serious incidents where we had to call the police due to his dangerous behaviour targeting the younger children again. unfortunately we had to remove him for three days just before we all went away on a three week holiday. We asked for him to be allowed out of hes temporary foster placement so he could enjoy his holiday with the family. during the course of the holiday did have a few major incidents and had to restrain him on a number of occasions, but also had some great times, due to being able to both be there for him and cater for his needs.
On our arrival back to UK things have miraculously calmed down (seventeen days and counting). We still have a few ups and downs but in general the targeting of the children has stopped and he is taking more notice of us, and more importantly he has not needed any restraint or police intervention. We are very proud of him and have been relaying this information back to social services. unfortunately due to a meeting taking place while we were away on holiday, further intervention has been decided on by social. We have been told we are going to have to have a child in need plan for our other children due to his past behaviour. also visits to see all four children every five days and a big meeting September with all the heads of our children’s various schools having to attend.
I have been in touch with our (newly qualified) social worker, but feel our views are being ignored. We have explained that due to all this new stress they will be placing on our family our son could revert back to his destructive past behaviours. Its such a shame due his change in temperament!
We are a bit nervous of formal complaints, due to rocking the boat and making enemy’s.
Can anyone be of service to advise on this tricky situation?
August 28, 2019 at 8:53 am #126646Penny WilliamsKeymaster
Make sure you are keeping daily records. This will allow you to show proof that things are improving.
I would also encourage you to see if there’s a shift you can make in the way you approach behavior that could further improve things.
If you are already implementing this approach, and staying calm and steady whenever he’s having a hard time, then you are doing what you can and that is likely why things are improving.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
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