Probably asking him to leave- how do you handle custody issues?

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones Probably asking him to leave- how do you handle custody issues?

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  ADMom12926 1 month ago.

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  • #109444

    greeneggsbroken
    Participant

    Good morning,
    My husband of almost ten years has been nine years sober and we have two young children. He was diagnosed with adult add last year and was prescribed Adderall. He proceeded to take it incorrectly, stay up for 5 days straight and I was terrified he needed impatient help. Needless to say he lost his job a month or two after that. He has has a brain coach and a sleep study but refuses to take any responsibility in treating his symptoms. I am, at this point, completely over the selfishness and am not sure our relationship could be saved even if he started making an effort. That being said my kids adore him and I want to encourage their relationship to blossom even when we split
    So here’s my issue: I feel like he is unable to function in a way that allows him to care for them. He can’t understand time enough to feed them or keep them to a bedtime routine, much less getting them to school. He doesn’t dress them properly for seasonal weather. He’s so completely messy that I worry if I’m not there his living area will be unsafe for them. But how can you prove these things in court? How can I protect myself and them from the consequences I f his inaction? I’m trying so hard and I just can’t carry everything for him while he watches me and stagnates any more. But I’m feeling incredibly stuck. If anyone has any input it would mean the world to me to have some advice or empathy.

  • #109461

    ADMom12926
    Participant

    Start logging his behavior and your observations. Go the Dr. with him and express your concerns and make sure the Doc documents everything you say. Keep a copy of medical record visit for your logs. Go to a counselor together and express your concerns about your husband. Get 3rd party involvement everywhere and anywhere you can. Without physical proof, the judicial system doesn’t give a crap. You could say whatever you want, be it true or whatever, and they won’t care without proof. So get going on that 3rd party stuff. And if you can get a counselor to vouche for you and you show proof of them being on your side in court, you’ll have a good chance. P.S adderrall from what I’ve seen, is the worst medication for a person to take. With how he reacted to it, it’s best he’s not taking it.

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