Principal from another school interacting with my child

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    • #110113

      My 9 year old son has ADHD and ODD. We have been working with an IEP for about a year and a half now. We have felt that the principal has often demanded things of him or questioned him, in the past, in ways that constituted my son needing more representation in these situations. We had added it to his IEP last school year that, when being questioned for disciplinary reasons, that his mother or I be present or on the phone to make sure he is being treated fairly. At first, this was successful. It then became almost a mockery of the request when the principal would call over any small incident that occurred. We discussed that she only needed to call if he was being interviewed or questioned in a disciplinary manner for an action that could possibly result in a write up or suspension.
      These phone calls have ended for the most part, first, due to the fact that the first half of the year went pretty good compared to last year.
      Second, I’m unsure if last years IEP measures that were put in place, carry over to this year. We have only requested one IEP meeting which took place October 19th and basically, it was just praise for how well he has been doing!
      After Christmas break, things have gone down hill and he has started to get in more trouble and we now have another IEP meeting set up for this Friday.All that being said, our son told us the other day that the principal of a near-by Jr. High School was present a week ago when we had an incident at the school. For some reason (not substituting for the elementary principal because she was also there) he was speaking with my child and from what my child says, “was being mean” and spoke fairly aggressive with him.
      My issue is that he knows nothing of my child, our IEP, he is no longer the principal at this school (he was about 3 years ago), no one called me or my wife while he was being spoken to (although my child was in the office to call me to help calm him down) and instead, the teacher called and talked with me first before allowing my child to talk to me (also part of his IEP to be allowed to call me if he needs to be talked down) and no one but my son said anything about the other principal speaking with him. Now my son is not looking forward to Jr. High (he will be attending the school where he is the principal) and has already seen this principal as someone to battle. He still has 2 and a half years before he gets there.
      After all that (wanted to give some background) here’s my question…
      Does this principal have any right to even be speaking to my son (aggressively or not) if he is not aware nor involved with the IEP team? I guess we’re a little more upset that anyone involved with our team (2 present during this) did nothing to prevent it and did not mention anything to us about it.

    • #110165
      Penny Williams

      I can’t tell you if this principal had a right to speak to your son about his behavior. That’s a question for an educational advocate or attorney. The IEP does carry over until someone determines it’s no longer needed and removes your child from special education. Every 3 years, the school must do a re-evaluation to see if the student still qualifies for services and an IEP.

      If your child’s school doesn’t seem to be implementing the IEP, mention your concern in the IEP meeting. Bring an advocate if you can.

      Being constantly punished for behavior concerns me. I would formally ask for a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) and a resulting Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) in addition to his IEP. His unwanted behavior is likely part of his disability, and needs to be addressed as such.

      5 School Assessments Your Child May Be Entitled To

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #110303
      Dr. Eric

      I must have started a response about 5 times…
      When it comes to school stuff, I try to put myself in the school staff’s shoes to see where the common ground or misunderstandings came from… In this case, I come up empty.

      In reality, there are so many details or “what ifs” that would impact my opinion, that I come up empty.

      When I visit other schools, I have no problem redirecting a behavior that I see, but I limit to something simple that would be inappropriate for me to ignore… “Be safe”, “be kind, “please use appropriate language”…

      This is kind of weird.

    • #124735

      my only advice in this situation is to get with an Advocate and get their advice. They will have more practical advice and I also think you may consider speaking with an attorney who is familiar with special education law. They may have some ideas for you.

      IMHO, it seems odd and abusive for a principal from another school to have any contact with your son at all. It seems like they are hiding something because they never brought you or your spouse into it. I am concerned that your son was not allowed to call you either. I would certainly discuss this situation with his case manager and find out what happened.

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