pre diagnosis

This topic contains 1 reply, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  teenytinydreamer 4 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #112883

    teenytinydreamer
    Participant

    Hi, I’m a 20 yr old female university student, and I’ve recently seen a walk in family physician about potentially having ADHD. Based off of the screening results, he said that I might have it and sent my results to the campus wellness center. Now I’m waiting a month until I can see another physician before I can get referred to a psychiatrist. Even though I tested positive and I believe my answers were the truth, I can’t help but feel as if I’m wasting my time, if it’s just me being lazy and inconsiderate like my family always told me while I was growing up. I was fairly well-mannered and did very well in elementary and high school, which is something that really sets me apart from all the information about ADHD online, because it almost always says that children struggle in school and tend to get in trouble. On the other hand I’ve always struggled with putting things away and losing things, no matter how many times I was yelled at for it. I’ve had a fidgeting problem for as long as I could remember, and I got away with procrastination a lot because I found that the stuff I learned in school wasn’t that hard and I worked great under pressure. I’m doubting whether these were symptoms or not.

    It was only until university where I started noticing things getting worse. I couldn’t just sit down and start studying and doing homework like other students could, it was nearly impossible. I couldn’t manage my time to finish assignments and study, everyone told me that that would be something I would learn how to do eventually but I’m at the end of my third year and I still can’t do it. I’m losing things left and right and I leave things places and forget about them, which drives my housemate crazy. I find myself drifting off during lectures or when my best friend is telling me a story (I do well at hiding it but I feel terrible for doing it). I’ll spend HOURS doing useless hobbies or activities when I know I have a deadline coming up (I’m doing it right now). And I’m starting to miss deadlines and meetings (I either have to come up with an excuse, hand in things late, or just hand in whatever I could scrape up last minute). All the while, I’m thinking to myself “why are you doing this to yourself?”, “just open it up and get it done!”, “just start _____ already!”. But I can’t? Starting tasks and projects feels like I’m lugging a ball and chain, and when I actually sit down and open up my computer to start working, it’s like none of the words I read actually get through, or it feels like a massive writer’s block when I try to write. It’s so frustrating because I know I can do better, but I just don’t.

    Now that ADHD is a possibility I feel like that explains things but it also feels like I’m trying to make up excuses. What if I’m just not working hard enough like everyone else? Has anyone else ever felt this way? I feel like I’m being very silly…

  • #112884

    teenytinydreamer
    Participant

    I would also like to add that I’ve been really bad with my spending. I’m always buying app games, video games, clothes, even though I know I don’t have the money to. I’ve gone over my credit card limit several times, and when I do, I resort to using my mom’s credit card. She always tells me to stop, that her credit card is for emergencies and food only. I feel terrible for using it and asking her for money, but I just can’t seem to stop. By the time I’ve realized what I’ve done, it’s too late and I can’t undo it

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