PLEASE Tell me your story, I was just diagnosed & feeling confused/alone at 28

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    • #109909
      MadisonDee
      Participant


      Hello,

      My first time here.

      I would love to hear stories about what you went through once you found out you had ADHD?

      I’m going through a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. I don’t have anyone who understands and it’s very isolating. It would be so comforting to hear your experience.

      If you’d like to read more about me here is a (trying to be brief) story of mine.

      Back story:
      I am a 28 year old women, I grew up in a very chaotic/poor/violent home life, I always always always hated school. And many people respond to that with “yeah I hated school too” but I always felt they didn’t really know what I meant. When I was little I thought I was an alien, and that they never came back to get me after leaving me here by accident. I was always the weird one, the outcast, as a child I was the mute, but after puberty I couldn’t shut up. I’m the silly one that puts their foot in their mouth and people refer to me as spacey and always have. I’ve had difficulty making friends while simultaneously having a few close friends for years at a time consistently. But I always felt I was more of a “party trick” for them and the person they brought out to liven things up and not so much someone they respected. I had a drinking problem as a teenager but managed to get it in check by 21. I never experimented with drugs due to the extreme amount of addiction in my family that left me feeling like I shouldn’t even try and play with that fire. I dropped out of high school after 2 weeks of 10th grade. I tried college twice in my early 20’s but couldn’t get myself to show up. I did get my GED at 18 after just waltzing in to the test and somehow passing. No studying at all (i’m lucky). I’ve always managed to hold jobs down relatively easily, although I’ve really hated all of them. I always hated the idea of being trapped in a building all day every day. I’ve been fired once for being late too much after working there for 4 years. My biggest problems at all my jobs were, always being late, talking to coworkers to much, and missing important details, but most of the time it wasn’t a huge deal because I’m really strong in most other areas and I can be charismatic and get myself out of bad situations relatively easily.

      What led me to seek help:
      At 26 my very supportive and sweet long term boyfriend helped me to decide that I should stop working and attend college full time. I started out with one class and built myself up. The start of school was the end to any peace I may have had previously. It was an absolute nightmare from the start, weekly meltdowns, my house was dirtier than ever, I stopped even cooking the simple things I did before (I hate cooking) and my poor boyfriend not only went from financially supporting me to picking up the few tasks that I did around the house and for the pets and he added that to his plate. I only focus on school, and it’s not even like it’s paying off, I still don’t do very well. as I put it to the doctor I was seeing for an injury (tripped down the stairs for no reason) “it’s like I’m in medical school but I’m only taking simple starter courses” I thought being an adult, with no responsibilities would mean I would be successful, and that wasn’t the case at all. And I knew for once in my life that I couldn’t try any harder than I already was. that’s when I knew something was wrong.

      Diagnosis:
      So, I sought out assistance from a clinic on my campus, at this clinic they had clinical psychologists in training working with a clinical psychologist professor overseeing them to test you for everything under the sun. I had a 10-hour total psychological assessment done split in to two sessions, this was comprised of more tests than I can count along with a two hour interview. Honestly, I thought I was going to be diagnosed with dysgraphia or discalculia. ADHD crossed my mind but I didn’t think that was the case, and didn’t consider for more than a moment. Well as of 3 weeks ago I went to meet with them for my results after waiting for 8 weeks to get the results. They said they found that I have ADHD, PTSD, and Major Depressive disorder. Turns out after speaking with my mother briefly, my 5th grade teacher mentioned she thought I had it, but my mom said after speaking to her again about it she revoked her opinion on it and had changed her mind? I personally don’t believe my mother, she was never very good at following up with serious issues and I’m more apt to believe she just blew off the teacher’s recommendation.

      The emotional rollercoaster: (the most important part)
      The last three weeks I’ve been hyper immersed in reading about adhd and it’s uncanny, I feel like I’m reading about myself, when I watch videos about it, I start crying because I can’t believe how creepy it is, its’ like they’re in my head. Down to nitty gritty details I can relate to everything. And then at the same time I’ve been going through these weird days where I question it. I told my closest and oldest friend about having adhd and while she meant well and was very kind in her wording I could sense that she doubted I have it. I can tell my mom doubts it too. And when I talk about it with my very loving/supportive boyfriend of 7 years he even clams up like he wants me to stop talking about it. My new psychiatrist whom I met with the other day was asking me questions and I feel like he is questioning it too. He even asked prior to writing my script “be honest you’ve experimented with Adderall already, most people your age have” Well I never have and it made me feel bad about myself, like he didn’t trust me and thinks I’m faking it. It makes me wonder am I trying to believe I have something I don’t just to justify my failures? I feel guilty. Could they have made a mistake at the university clinic? they gave me all the recommended tests for adhd. But I know it’s hard to diagnose. I’m feeling so insecure and confused about this diagnosis. And at the same time I find that I’m having almost hourly revelations about myself, today for example I realized that this really connects the dots when it comes to the financial issues I’ve had, I’ve always been SOO bad with money and credit cards, I have a bad credit score and paying bills was always hard for me even if I had the money, its like it was too stressful to even confront? and then at the same time an hour later I find that I’m question my adhd again, today it’s because I’m on my second day of my new Ritalin prescription and I find that it’s making me ‘hyper focus’ more and making me zone out more. There are less thoughts, but I am more consumed for longer periods of time on just one thought, to the point that I tune out everything around me. Does the Ritalin not working mean I don’t have it? I don’t know anymore. I’m feeling so lost.

      • This topic was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by MadisonDee.
      • This topic was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by Penny Williams.
    • #109994
      mch08101
      Participant

      Hey,
      I can relate to a lot of what you are feeling so don’t stress or worry too much! I was diagnosed about 6 months ago, at 21, and although I know that I can personally relate to many of the ADD symptoms my family and friends are quick to push it aside and believe that it’s just me not having enough will power, or lazy, or bringing up the fact that I did well in high school. However, I too have found comfort in doing a lot of research and reading a lot of blog posts to help reassure myself that this was the right path for me. The thing is 1) girls seem to behave differently then boys when it comes to add or adhd symptoms. They don’t tend to act out as much in class no matter the type and thus tend to not be diagnosed until later. Also, factors like exercise, a strict regime, and shorter class periods all can help minimize the symptoms becoming prevalent enough to diagnose. All of which were things I had in high school and all of the sudden did not have in college. 2) I have also noticed that there is a social taboo around add and adhd, which leads to a lot of stereotypes, misinformation, and denial. I mean before I went to seek help and learned more about add and adhd I had so many facts wrong, and would never have thought of this as my problem. However, looking back now and knowing that I have add so many things make a lot more sense. So if you think this is the right diagnosis, and you have had a medical professional tell you this then in my opinion that is far more important to consider then any family or friends opinion. As for feeling isolated, I too am in a situation where I don’t have anyone to talk too, but I have found forums like this to help. Due to the taboo, many people are also quick to judge, but maybe if you explained to your boyfriend and friends the facts and gave the logistics they might be more prone to accepting this and being open to talking about it. Also, you could see if there are any support groups on campus, or if there is any therapist you could talk too. As far as the medication I am not a doctor, but 1) there are 2 types of medication for ADHD 1 is in the Ritalin family and the other like Adderall. Usually, people need to try both types to figure out which works best for them, and even in those two groups, there are several variations and medications that all can react differently for different people. So, I would say there are several other alternatives to try before trying non-stimulate options. Also, the hyperfocus is kind of what the medication is supposed to do. I just have to make sure when I take the medication I am doing whatever it is I need to do when it kicks in. Then once my body got used to it, I found it was more like normal and I could focus but also switch between things. Also, maybe the dosage needs to go down or up? I would talk to your doctor about all of these and they will have the best solution. Keep trying things and dosages until you find the one that works the best for your situation! We are all different, and also don’t feel like taking medication is wrong. If you take it as prescribed it is no different then someone taking their allergy medication or their antibiotics ect… There are people who use it recreationally without being prescribed it and this abuse it much more likely to cause addiction issues. Due to people wanting this medication in a recreational way, can cause doctors and people, in general, to be more hesitant and judgmental but find a doctor who is open and honest and makes you feel safe to talk too.

      Hope this helps!

    • #110223
      eratz217
      Participant

      I am a little older than you, but I do have a story with a fairly similar start. I have never actually been diagnosed but I have a 7 year old son who was diagnosed. When I started to read about ADHD to help my son I felt like they explained so many of the struggles I faced growing up. I remember literally crying as I read because I realized I was not alone. I received a lot of negativity as well when tried to talk to friends and family about it. The “Oh, that happens to me too sometimes” comments just make you feel alone even though they are an attempt at comfort, because for you and me it happens all the time. Sometimes the simplest task can feel like climbing a mountain. Your struggles are not due to a lack of intelligenc. I can tell by your writting you are very capable. It has more to do with the fact that your mind just works differently. You have to find the systems that work best for YOU. If medication is included with that system don’t let others make you feel guilty. It sounds like you know what drug abuse can do so you take precaution but I wouldn’t eliminate because someone makes assumptions about why you pursue treatment… This is about you finding balance in your life. The other thing I always try to do is to keep the conversation going. Talk openly about your diagnosis and your struggles. Yes, You will get some crazy looks sometimes but when you meet another person who struggles in silence they will feel forever greatful that you openly shared your experience. I hope my son will grow up in a world that will take more time to understand his struggle and the best way to do that is to share what I’ve learned. Many of the people that brushed off my original claims for me and my son have now come around to see more of what I tried to express years ago. It takes time and it takes a lot of trial and error but I promise you will become stronger in the long run! You are not alone!

      • #110645
        MadisonDee
        Participant

        Specific responses to each of you:

        mch08101: I feel like I have so many things I could say to respond to what you wrote but I’ll spare you the long speal! Firstly isn’t it wild how college seems to really make it known to people with adhd? It’s like college is something that really puts a spot light on the symptoms. I’m so looking forward to getting through college, I know I can find my way in the work world just a bit easier. Also when you said “So, I would say there are several other alternatives to try before trying non-stimulate options. Also, the hyperfocus is kind of what the medication is supposed to do.” Those are two statements that stood out, I didn’t realize that you can have different effects from different stimulants until doing a bit more research and reading what you wrote drove this home. I thought “a stimulant is a stimulant” so when the concerta wasn’t working I panicked because for some reason the antidepressant route makes me vary wary and I was scared that was the next logical step. Currently the concerta is working much better after giving it several weeks to settle in. However I feel that I’m at only a 30% of where I’d like to be at medication, so maybe I will ask for a higher dose when we reevaluate in a couple weeks. But now I don’t feel so scared to ask “can I try a different stimulant” Secondly the hyper focus thing is something I’m struggling to reign in, it’s like trying to tame a wild horse. I took my medication the other day in hopes of doing my calculus howework but ended up doing hours and hours of research on how to create your own wordpress website? A lot was accomplished but just in the wrong area. Lol Anyway thank you for your response I can tell you are a sweet soul!

        eratz217: Thank you for your kind words and encouragement! I have been questioning lately if I should even talk about my adhd, but you are so right, the more open I am about it the more people will have awareness. I hate that it’s such a taboo subject and so prone to causing people to think you are just a “lazy good for nothing” for lack of a better term. But when I am on a good mental health day I just know deep down what is true about myself and I know that I can’t try any harder than I am and that I am doing the best I can. I can’t wait to get this medication leveled out because I know that with all of this adversity I have faced with this issue, I will be able to concur a lot, because I think when you face a life where everything is a little harder you learn how to do things other people with a bit of an easier ride don’t know how to do. So I try to look at it like I have one up on most people. As for your son, he is so lucky to have a mom that will understand him on such a level, he will never have to feel that isolating feeling because of that. And I know he will be alright, he is growing up in a boom of technology and information, his generation will be so much smarter than most people now, and they will definitely have a better understanding of stuff like ADHD.

        roadrunner: Thank you for sharing your story, I definitely think it is so much harder as an adult, and from what I’ve been reading about lately it’s due to the fact that as the years go on with out a diagnosis your self esteem (like you were saying) just becomes more and more degraded. Even when it comes to simple things, like a household, I also really struggle with cleaning and even caring for my little kitty, and when you can’t accomplish these things you feel like such a failure. Now you add that up over years and years and it turns in to the only thing you hear in your head “you’re a failure” It really is the worst I know. With the diagnosis I think I expected to suddenly just have this voice disappear, but I guess it doesn’t work like that as I’ve learned. I still really struggle with turning that self esteem issue off but I guess it takes time. I bet with your therapy you are probably slowly starting to feel so much better. And at the end of the day I’m sure you’re children don’t really mind the messy living room or other things like that, all children really want is to be with there parents and for there parents to be happy! So going to therapy and dealing with this is the best thing you can do for them! Best of luck on your journey. 🙂

        thecopingmechanisms: “It felt like the diagnoses was all I needed and I could continue my life doing what I’ve always done. Closure I suppose was what I was initially looking for. I hadn’t actually thought further than that!” YES YES YES. I hadn’t either, I remember going in for my diagnosis appointment where she told me what was wrong and as I walked in I was so happy like “this is it, I am finally going to be done with this and I can move on” but I realized right after walking out at the end, right after finding out about the adhd, and thinking “oh this isn’t, it, it is only just the beginning” and I didn’t feel relieved at all. I still don’t, but i’ve seen so many positive stories about people coming out of this and learning how to lead successful lives so I’m just hanging in there and fighting the good fight! Thank you for sharing your ups and downs, it truly helps me put in to perspective how this will go and helps me have healthy expectations. Thank you!

        Aleksandar_Atan Firstly a bit off topic but I have to say, never apologize for your language skills, you sound completely like a fluent english speaker and I never would have questioned you once! You should really be confident because learning two languages requires a significant amount of intellect and hard work. Never apologize for a talent/skill! 🙂 Next I’d like to say I related to so many things in your story it gave me goosebumps! I am trying to work on how chatty I am but my meds are not fully there yet so instead of telling you every detail of what I related to I will highlight one that really stuck out: “I also had that luck that my close friend has somewhat similar condition and she understood me and we were together at the uni. One time she was instructing me to make copies of a book for the whole class and she gave me detailed instructions. Some girl that was going with me asked me “Why do you let her talk to you like that? She’s treating you like a child.” and I told her “Trust me, she knows what she’s doing.” because to me this wasn’t patronizing she just knew me well enough to know how to interact with me”” I have also been so lucky with close friends and I was just saying this to someone the other day, it’s one of the many revelations I’ve had about my adhd, while none of my friends have it and they honestly don’t have it well, I have still managed to find people that seem to “know how to deal with me” My very best friends in life have also been very blunt and to the point, they have always been very confident, and tell me “like it is”. And while most people are intimidated and tend to shy away from people like this I have always found them to be so wonderful to be around. Some people think my friends are mean? And I’m like “no you don’t understand this is what I NEED” I love when people are blunt with me, it’s helpful to me, I really stuggle with picking up on subtleys and if someone is coy, or passive, they will probably not like me very much. My mother once said “you are a bulldozer with people so your friends have to be strong” and that is so true. Another trait my friends and my spouse have are a NEVER ending amount of patience, I can be very frustrating to be around, and I can be very inconstant and flaky. If you are a patient person, you won’t mind this. Basically if you are a sensitive soul who has little patience, stay away from me becuase I am not for you! I almost always forget to say goodbye, I always forget to text back or call, but the right people won’t care, they’ll just catch you when they can and they won’t get hurt feelings from you not texting back etc…
        OH and one more thing, I too have accomplished things, but I also don’t feel good about it. I think it may be imposter syndrome, or maybe it’s just that those with ADHD are good at finding loopholes and easy ways of doing things? I feel like for me it’s the ladder, I know how to simplify and shorten any difficult task ( I study the same btw) and for that reason when I do accomplish a task it’s not as rewarding. Anyway thank you for sharing! I appreciate it.

    • #110240
      roadrunner
      Participant

      I was just recently diagnosed at 40 years old. Still in shock and denial. I started therapy about six months thinking I was battling depression. The regular medications were not working for depression so I was referred to a psychiatrist who said I had ADHD. I thought they were crazy but the ADHD medication work better. My self esteem is very low and I just considered myself a failure and stupid all my life. School was a struggle but I worked really hard to get good grades to prove I was not stupid to my family. My biggest struggles are trying to be a mother and act like I know what I am doing. I am totally disorganized and get overwhelmed easily with the demands of just managing a household. Anyways I think it is very hard to accept a diagnosis especially if you get it as an adult. I know that feeling of being alone. I could never tell my family about it because they do not believe in ADHD. Only my husband and doctors know.

    • #110394
      thecopingmechanisms
      Participant

      “It makes me wonder am I trying to believe I have something I don’t just to justify my failures? I feel guilty.”

      This sentence struck such a cord with me I felt like I had to respond to your post.

      I was similarly diagnosed as an adult (25) after the “ADHD” question being whispered my whole childhood. I felt a huge weight had been lifted and a lot of experiences in my life started to make so much sense ( losing jobs due to lateness, not “applying” myself at school, issues with relationships, the constant voice in your head that tells you, “you aren’t good enough”).

      It felt like the diagnoses was all I needed and I could continue my life doing what I’ve always done. Closure I suppose was what I was initially looking for. I hadn’t actually thought further than that!

      This lasted a few months before I decided to start medicating. My dose was titrated (concerta XL) to 36mg which I eventually stopped due to feeling like I was losing my personality and what made me, me. I was literally a walking (highly functioning) zombie.

      I then battled for around a year with the same question I quoted above. Am I making this up? Am I just lazy and unmotivated? Telling people is always difficult and when broaching the subject with my employer I was faced with a blank face and “I’m sorry but I don’t know what that is”. Which was hard, cause when you explain ADHD, its sounds like excuses.

      This led me to contact my local ADHD service and start the whole process again. I have a different doctor now who is more transparent about the results of my initial test and now has me on an 18mg dose, which we will review in a month and go from there.

      The journey is just beginning and everyone’s brain is wired differently. Keep discussing your feelings with your doctor and find something that works for you. Sometimes its a different dose, drug or nothing at all!

      Thank you for sharing your experiences and making me feel slightly more human.

      Peace and Love <3

      x

      • #110437
        Aleksandar_Atan
        Participant

        This whole thing really resonates. I had a stream of thoughts but I didn’t put it down so I’m gonna try and tell my story I apologize if this goes on for too much.

        I was struggling with anxiety and depression throughout my life. Ups and downs but I don’t think it ever reached a critical point. Sometimes it was good, other times it was bad but one thing seemed persistent. Lack of attention, lack of focus and chaotic nature of my being. Something that I only recently realized are ADHD symptoms.

        I can’t really blame anyone, people with ADHD or people who are close to these people, for writting this things off because when you look at the conditions ADHD people have they seem like something everyone goes through in their lives at some point.

        But I think that’s where difference lies. Everyone goes through this at some point. I never had a period when I wasn’t going through this. From wnen I was a child until my current age one thing stuck. I seem spaced out to everyone around me. Sometimes it comes off as rude, for example today when I left my girlfriend’s apartmend I didn’t say bye to her mother. She keeps telling me when this kind of stuff happen but I didn’t notice it in the slightest. It happens a lot. Other times people think I’m high. So it didn’t really help that I had a period in my teenage years when I was high all the time but that was for couple of months not my entire life. People keep thinking that I’m high and this is something I can understand. I feel like I’m constantly high and I can’t really explain that to people. I remember speaking to a dude who told me why he liked getting high, how he feels spaced out and like he’s not present at the moment. I feel like that all the time, that’s the problem.
        Besides that a lot of stuff that I was doing made for funny anectodes. A lot of this stuff didn’t affect me greately but that’b because people focus on this funny adventures that happen like I accidently miss a city I live in and end up in completely different part of town. It doesn’t destroy me and I find it funny but it’s something that’s not that interesting if it’s your entire life.

        I lost scholarships, jobs, failed at school, relationships and a lot of other stuff that I can’t think of right now because of it. I lost an ID and I couldn’t get my scholarship because I needed a printed ID, I was an awful student barely passing grades while in elementary and secondary school because I can’t focus on all the classes and I can’t pay attention at the clas and because I keep forgetting to bring a pencil, homework, all of that stuff. I had hard time getting to a point where I’m in a relationship because I keep losing my phone or neglecting to pay a phone bill so I can’t get in touch with a girl, when I did it often led to dissapointments because I keep forgetting birthdays, aniversaries, even names. Nothing stuck.
        Finding someone with enough understanding can be a strain. Even then the people tend to get agitated at a certain point and I completely understand that.

        My biggest concern and when I realized I needed help when it came to my conclusion that when I’m with someone it’s not just me I’m pulling down it’s the people who rely on me in this case my current girlfriend. She’s struggling with her own stuff and she can’t be that symphatetic.

        The upside to all of this is hyperfocus. I managed to accomplish a lot with very little time. Stuff that interest me I excell at them. One time a guy that I was in a uni with asked me how much I study for exams and I told him I’m not really a person he should be talking to because what takes people 2 weeks I cram in a day. It’s something I really focus on so I rarely even read it twice. I never studied in that traditional way and I had excelent results but only at the university level. I’ve recently got my masters degree and I was lucky my proffesors were sympathetic towards me because I often forgot to apply for an exam but they let me take the exam regardless. If this wasn’t the case I would never finish my first semester let alone get the masters degree.
        I also had that luck that my close friend has somewhat similar condition and she understood me and we were together at the uni. One time she was instructing me to make copies of a book for the whole class and she gave me detailed instructions. Some girl that was going with me asked me “Why do you let her talk to you like that? She’s treating you like a child.” and I told her “Trust me, she knows what she’s doing.” because to me this wasn’t patronizing she just knew me well enough to know how to interact with me.

        Another big problem is iniciative. I lack any of it. Ever. It makes dating awful, it makes getting things that almost impossible, it makes keeping friends and gaining new ones hard. People expect certain things from you and you just can’t deliver on them.

        I go through feelings of self doubt, lack of self worth, lack of any motivation, lack of any ambitions on a daliy basis. The whole thing really makes me think how I ever done anything yet I did manage to do stuff. Still it feels like I haven’t accomplished much. Like everything I did was somwehat just pure luck or something. Like I didn’t put the work in to consider myself accomplished.

        Sorry if this was too long and uncomprehensable, English is my second language. Not that my first language is any less chaotic when I speak it.

        Thanks for letting me share this it really helps.

    • #110643
      MadisonDee
      Participant

      I have just checked back on this site after being in a bit of a flurrly for a couple of week, and I am just, speechless at these responses, I honestly didn’t think people would want to respond but here are several and I am so shocked and thankful:

      – For one I have never spoken to people who really “get me” it’s a very rare thing to find for me and when I do find it I do whatever I can to hold on to that person but after reading these responses I feel like I’ve found my tribe and it’s just all that much more reaffirming that I now know what’s going on.

      -Secondly I can not thank you all enough for taking the time to write these responses they TRULY mean a lot and I don’t mean to be dramatic but they really do. I am currently doing so much better on my medication and it’s really helping, as of this specific moment I have had a coffee and my meds are working at there peak so it’s allowing me to take the time to respond to each of you. And I can also say I have read every word each of you have written.

      • #110674
        mch08101
        Participant

        Hey, I just wanted to respond to your personal response up above and I am sorry it has taken so long but the last two weeks with midterms has had me running around like a chicken with its head cut off haha. First, I am so glad that my comment helped you in some way! Second, I am glad the concerta is working better, and I know what you mean by not feeling like you are getting the full benefits. I have recently had to switch medications due to insurance and I still have not found the right combination and dosage that helps me as much as my previous medication. I am just going to keep being open and honest with my doctor and hope that I figure it out again soon. All that to say don’t worry and keep working until you find the right medication and dosage for you! Third, I find that making sure I am already doing the task I want to accomplish when the medication hits my system can really help me combat some of that hyperfocus. So if you haven’t tried that you should! Lastly, that is so sweet of you to say and I feel like you have such a sweet and honest spirt too! Sending you lots of good vibes, and I think we have both found our tribe!

    • #110646
      MadisonDee
      Participant

      Specific responses to each of you:

      mch08101: I feel like I have so many things I could say to respond to what you wrote but I’ll spare you the long speal! Firstly isn’t it wild how college seems to really make it known to people with adhd? It’s like college is something that really puts a spot light on the symptoms. I’m so looking forward to getting through college, I know I can find my way in the work world just a bit easier. Also when you said “So, I would say there are several other alternatives to try before trying non-stimulate options. Also, the hyperfocus is kind of what the medication is supposed to do.” Those are two statements that stood out, I didn’t realize that you can have different effects from different stimulants until doing a bit more research and reading what you wrote drove this home. I thought “a stimulant is a stimulant” so when the concerta wasn’t working I panicked because for some reason the antidepressant route makes me vary wary and I was scared that was the next logical step. Currently the concerta is working much better after giving it several weeks to settle in. However I feel that I’m at only a 30% of where I’d like to be at medication, so maybe I will ask for a higher dose when we reevaluate in a couple weeks. But now I don’t feel so scared to ask “can I try a different stimulant” Secondly the hyper focus thing is something I’m struggling to reign in, it’s like trying to tame a wild horse. I took my medication the other day in hopes of doing my calculus howework but ended up doing hours and hours of research on how to create your own wordpress website? A lot was accomplished but just in the wrong area. Lol Anyway thank you for your response I can tell you are a sweet soul!

      eratz217: Thank you for your kind words and encouragement! I have been questioning lately if I should even talk about my adhd, but you are so right, the more open I am about it the more people will have awareness. I hate that it’s such a taboo subject and so prone to causing people to think you are just a “lazy good for nothing” for lack of a better term. But when I am on a good mental health day I just know deep down what is true about myself and I know that I can’t try any harder than I am and that I am doing the best I can. I can’t wait to get this medication leveled out because I know that with all of this adversity I have faced with this issue, I will be able to concur a lot, because I think when you face a life where everything is a little harder you learn how to do things other people with a bit of an easier ride don’t know how to do. So I try to look at it like I have one up on most people. As for your son, he is so lucky to have a mom that will understand him on such a level, he will never have to feel that isolating feeling because of that. And I know he will be alright, he is growing up in a boom of technology and information, his generation will be so much smarter than most people now, and they will definitely have a better understanding of stuff like ADHD.

      roadrunner: Thank you for sharing your story, I definitely think it is so much harder as an adult, and from what I’ve been reading about lately it’s due to the fact that as the years go on with out a diagnosis your self esteem (like you were saying) just becomes more and more degraded. Even when it comes to simple things, like a household, I also really struggle with cleaning and even caring for my little kitty, and when you can’t accomplish these things you feel like such a failure. Now you add that up over years and years and it turns in to the only thing you hear in your head “you’re a failure” It really is the worst I know. With the diagnosis I think I expected to suddenly just have this voice disappear, but I guess it doesn’t work like that as I’ve learned. I still really struggle with turning that self esteem issue off but I guess it takes time. I bet with your therapy you are probably slowly starting to feel so much better. And at the end of the day I’m sure you’re children don’t really mind the messy living room or other things like that, all children really want is to be with there parents and for there parents to be happy! So going to therapy and dealing with this is the best thing you can do for them! Best of luck on your journey. 🙂

      thecopingmechanisms: “It felt like the diagnoses was all I needed and I could continue my life doing what I’ve always done. Closure I suppose was what I was initially looking for. I hadn’t actually thought further than that!” YES YES YES. I hadn’t either, I remember going in for my diagnosis appointment where she told me what was wrong and as I walked in I was so happy like “this is it, I am finally going to be done with this and I can move on” but I realized right after walking out at the end, right after finding out about the adhd, and thinking “oh this isn’t, it, it is only just the beginning” and I didn’t feel relieved at all. I still don’t, but i’ve seen so many positive stories about people coming out of this and learning how to lead successful lives so I’m just hanging in there and fighting the good fight! Thank you for sharing your ups and downs, it truly helps me put in to perspective how this will go and helps me have healthy expectations. Thank you!

      Aleksandar_Atan Firstly a bit off topic but I have to say, never apologize for your language skills, you sound completely like a fluent english speaker and I never would have questioned you once! You should really be confident because learning two languages requires a significant amount of intellect and hard work. Never apologize for a talent/skill! 🙂 Next I’d like to say I related to so many things in your story it gave me goosebumps! I am trying to work on how chatty I am but my meds are not fully there yet so instead of telling you every detail of what I related to I will highlight one that really stuck out: “I also had that luck that my close friend has somewhat similar condition and she understood me and we were together at the uni. One time she was instructing me to make copies of a book for the whole class and she gave me detailed instructions. Some girl that was going with me asked me “Why do you let her talk to you like that? She’s treating you like a child.” and I told her “Trust me, she knows what she’s doing.” because to me this wasn’t patronizing she just knew me well enough to know how to interact with me”” I have also been so lucky with close friends and I was just saying this to someone the other day, it’s one of the many revelations I’ve had about my adhd, while none of my friends have it and they honestly don’t have it well, I have still managed to find people that seem to “know how to deal with me” My very best friends in life have also been very blunt and to the point, they have always been very confident, and tell me “like it is”. And while most people are intimidated and tend to shy away from people like this I have always found them to be so wonderful to be around. Some people think my friends are mean? And I’m like “no you don’t understand this is what I NEED” I love when people are blunt with me, it’s helpful to me, I really stuggle with picking up on subtlety’s and if someone is coy, or passive, they will probably not like me very much. My mother once said “you are a bulldozer with people so your friends have to be strong” and that is so true. Another trait my friends and my spouse have are a NEVER ending amount of patience, I can be very frustrating to be around, and I can be very inconstant and flaky. If you are a patient person, you won’t mind this. Basically if you are a sensitive soul who has little patience, stay away from me because I am not for you! I almost always forget to say goodbye, I always forget to text back or call, but the right people won’t care, they’ll just catch you when they can and they won’t get hurt feelings from you not texting back etc…
      OH and one more thing, I too have accomplished things, but I also don’t feel good about it. I think it may be imposter syndrome, or maybe it’s just that those with ADHD are good at finding loopholes and easy ways of doing things? I feel like for me it’s the ladder, I know how to simplify and shorten any difficult task ( I study the same btw) and for that reason when I do accomplish a task it’s not as rewarding. Anyway thank you for sharing! I appreciate it.

    • #110681
      Caleb3Wesley
      Participant

      Hello, my name is Caleb and I would like to seek help as my issues with ADD are out of my control at this point. I am 23 years old and have not received any treatment for my diagnosed ADD since the age of 15.

      This is my first post on any kind of forum and I would like to see what kind of response I get from this brief summary about my current conditions before publicly sharing a more broadened backstory. Thank you for understanding.

      I have recently found it perdinant, more than ever, that my psychological issues be addressed and taken very seriously should I be able to have any kind of success in life. I have had quite the struggle being productive and organized. Eventually leading to my dropping out of high school and spinning wheels in the sand ever since.
      I began abusing drugs at 13 years of age thinking that I was coping well by letting substances kind of “take the wheel” until I figured something out. Substance made me feel motivated and unlike I was when struggling to just be normal, without self-medicating.
      As it was then, it is now. My issue with substance abuse is not about getting high. It is about chemically altering my mind to allow me to properly function and conduct myself. As you can probably imagine, that train of thought has put me back much farther than I ever could have anticipated. I have been in and out of drug abuse treatment facilities for the past 6 years. All because of my negligence and avoidance of my personal mental health concerns, I have compounded many problems that might have been under control by now had I sought professional help initially.

      It is not my intention to seek anything other than peaceful, helpful advice on how I can stop using substance to cope, and be assessed for professional medical treatment. PLEASE message me personally if there is ANYTHING you can say to help.

      Thank you very much for your time,

      Caleb W.

    • #110687
      jlb83
      Participant

      Hi MadisonDee,

      As you can see, you have a lot of company, a lot of us can definitely empathize.

      I am 35-years old. I’ve had two evaluations in the past month. One psychiatric NP who thought my symptoms weren’t very clear-cut so she sent me to the neuropsychologist to see if I had bipolar type 2, ADHD, or both. I saw the neuropsychologist yesterday. It took 2.5 hours, and we did a battery of tests. He told me what I already suspected: that I have ADHD, both inattentive and hyperactive. He didn’t give me the full results. I will get them in 2 weeks. But he said that from observations of me during the (super boring) tests, and looking at some of the results, it appears to him that I have classic symptoms of ADHD.

      It was hard for me, too, to accept that I could have this condition. I grew up thinking there was something different about me. I didn’t know what it was. I just felt different. Kids in school didn’t really like me. My family was always exasperated with me for numerous things. I didn’t know what it was, though. So I just continued on this existence.

      Fast forward to today. I sought ADHD experts because of some of the things I read online, I could totally relate to. Also, I was no longer depressed, and I could deal with anxiety much better than I was able to in the past. But I still felt like something was off. I looked at my life, and I looked at my sisters, my friends, other people around me, and I thought: “How could these people get their crap together by just putting extra effort? I’ve tried EVERYTHING and I am still a huge hot mess.” Also, my 11-year old is showing classic signs of someone who is both inattentive and she is also wildly hyper at times. So, I decided to dig deeper into myself.

      Every time I doubt my diagnosis, I think back to my history and how I always felt weird and different, and that people seemed to treat me differently. I’m not saying it was my fault. Of course, having ADHD is not our fault! We were born this way, nothing can change this. But, I just KNEW there really was something that made me different from most of the other people I knew.

      It’s interesting once you make this discovery about yourself. This discovery made me realize that my father is the one I inherited this from. He has no idea though, and if I told him he has ADHD he’d deny it! And his family.. my mother’s family has absolutely no history of this. My dad’s family, on the other hand.. I can definitely see now how this disorder manifests on my dad side, and everything has been made so clear. We are quick to anger. We focus on all the things that annoy and distress us and get ourselves worked up. We get aggressive and we tend to drive others away with our aggression. Hence the isolation and people not liking us!

      What’s great is that, now you know, and you are taking the steps to cope with this. I am older than you are, and I am only just starting to accept, that this is me. I have to find so many ways to cope with life, and it is very different from how others cope. For example, to get anything done, I have to do them in very short, 15-20 minute chunks. And I must have my favorite tunes blasting so I can get myself hyped for the tasks. But I can’t just tell myself, “OK, it is now time to sit down and do this! Focus! You can do it!” Nope… doesn’t work that way for me. I have very specific ways in which I have to do things, and people think I’m crazy, but you know what… this is me. This is how we are, and this is how we must cope in a world that cannot understand what it is like to live like this. Be you. Be unapologetic about it. Your goal is to make sure you are comfortable, happy with yourself, and know that you are trying your best to cope. And you have a community who is working hard at this along with you!

      Best of luck 🙂

    • #110704
      SierraW
      Participant

      I can relate to your story so much! When I found out I had ADHD I was had an instant, “Oh now it all makes sense” moment.

      I did very well in school until JR High where organization and studying start to become important. I dropped out of high school and got my GED without cracking a book. I tried college but it was a disaster. I made many terrible choices, ended up pregnant at 19 and was fired from many jobs. Finally at age 22 I was diagnosed with ADHD. At 23 I got my life together and was back in school but still had issues. I hadn’t sought accommodations and thought my Ritalin was enough to help me. After a semester and not doing well I dropped out again. I got married and had another child. While all this was going on I was unmedicated and worked hard to understand and figure out my ADHD. I listened to podcasts, read articles and tried many different strategies. This past year I returned to college and now have a 4.0. There have been issues with my medications and I have had to try different things and find a doctor who is compassionate and helpful. Ritalin was hit or miss for me and the generics can vary in efficacy. I use my accommodations and give myself breaks when I make mistakes or have a whirlwind of chaos. Learning about my ADHD and finding a good doctor have been the keys for me. I’ve tried specialists and psychiatrists but ended up with my family practice doctor managing my medications and this has been the most successful.

      When it comes to social relations, I am a total weirdo. I tend to over talk or under talk, interrupt, make bizarre connections and repel people from me. It used to hurt when I felt like a loner. Nowadays I don’t let it bother me. I understand that I’m different and people don’t always get me. I love my ADHD brain but I used to hate it! I see things others don’t and I love what my thoughts are capable of. There is still so much misunderstanding about ADHD and stigma attached to it. I’ve honestly had classmates say they wish they had ADHD so they could take tests in a quiet setting.

      Medicating ADHD is a process. Try to be patient and remember that you are not alone. Relay any and all issues with your doctor. Welcome and I wish you success in your bright future.

    • #112288
      santaklaus
      Participant

      Hey sort of an older post but on the off chance you check it from time to time, I just got diagnosed a couple months ago thanks to nursing school lol. An edit to the first reply-er the two classes of adhd medications are stimulants (Adderall/Ritalin and Vyvanse as well I believe) and non-stimulants (Strattera is the main one I know about). The main difference from what I have been told is that the stimulants effect your central nervous system with dopamine levels and the nonstimulants don’t effect your central nervous system and just effect norepinephrine (think fight or flight). Personally I didn’t notice jack squat after 3 weeks on 80mg but that’s person to person. As new as I am to this group it seems like “a mess around until you get the results you want with as close to zero side affects as you can” haha. ( also I’m not a doctor if it’s not clear). I hope you’re managing better now seeikg as it’s been about 2 1/2 weeks since you responded to the others and mentioned about a med change. Best wishes

    • #112389
      greyisprettyrad
      Participant

      Hello! My name is Grey, I’m 16, I’m a junior in high school.
      Ever since I was little teachers would be asking if I had ADHD and saying that they understand and cutting me slack for not turning work in. I always knew I had ADHD, but I didn’t know what it was.
      I was diagnosed last spring and immediately put on meds after I struggled a little in chemistry and geometry and then suddenly crashed and burned and failed both classes. My mom always knew I had it, but because of problems my dad had with his medicine and problems her friends had with their ADHD kids’ schools, she was scared to get me diagnosed and thought she could handle it.
      I’m still struggling. I have catastrophic and social anxiety and I get very scared of irrational things (getting kidnapped and whatnot) and of people hating me. I started seeing a therapist a couple weeks ago.
      I often wish I were just normal, I wish I weren’t so loud and annoying. I wish I didn’t get obsessed with TV shows and games. I wish I didn’t feel like I couldn’t breathe and was going to just explode when my 4 year old sister won’t stop talking while I’m doing homework. But I know that having ADHD can have benefits. I can use my hyperfocus powers for good, and I know so much about the mechanics and things no one cares about in minecraft, so when people ask about something I’m the only person who knows the answer and I feel so smart, and sometimes my “dramatic” emotions are cute and funny and people like me more.
      That’s not my whole story, but I lost track of where I was going with this, so I’m done 🙂

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