Tagged: Invisible wall
January 5, 2021 at 7:48 pm #190354
Today was really hard. Probably the hardest day in a long time. I’m newly diagnosed with ADHD. Had always struggled my entire life with focus and couldn’t figure out why. I always felt like a ping pong ball that just could not get settled. Or like I knew what I needed to do, knew what the end game should look like but I just COULD NOT do it. Or I’d start and never finish, like I kept hitting this invisible wall.
So today I woke up after sleeping somewhat well, I started work, watched a discussion video from a workout group I recently joined which was great. But maybe too great because then I immediately hyper focused on getting my shit together. All these projects in my house and cleaning I had been putting off I tried to do all at the same time while STILL trying to work on top of it. So the day was chaotic and at one point I was so overwhelmed on how to keep going or how to focus on one thing that I just sat down and couldn’t do anything. While my mind was still racing. Fully just crashed. And I’ve been drained ever since.
Has anyone else ever had these days?:(
January 6, 2021 at 9:24 am #190366maltomate2030Participant
Hi, I was diagnosed about 3 months so it’s still newer to me too.
I have entire days like what you’re describing. Hyper focused, cleaning like a madman, then suddenly the doorbell rings, I bring in the Amazon package and can’t remember what I was doing.
My garage (wood shop) is full of projects at various stages of completion too. It sucks when I finally get time to be out there and have no clue where to start. I’ve also noticed my short term memory is getting worse and worse. Which means I can’t just pick up where I left off yesterday because odds are I can’t remember.
I’ve started journaling with some notebooks from Amazon. They have a dot grid pattern so you can creatively make a plan, log your day (this is my current memory), schedule meals. I even started one just for writing. (I’ve secretly always wanted to write so I’m super excited on that one. Started it Monday and I’m 7 poems in!)
My mind wonders when I hit a point like you describe though; searching for that thing I should be doing or could be doing. Am I doing the best thing with my time? Best advice I have for you is think to yourself “what’s the bare minimum I Have to finish so that I can be done and go do what I want to do?” That train of thought usually helps me focus just enough to get through the overwhelming. Then I either get into my task and keep going, or I’m free to switch to something else.
January 6, 2021 at 11:03 am #190372
Thank you so much. It helps so much to know I’m not the only one who feels like this, its very defeating and had a lot of just sick of being me feelings yesterday. Why am I like this? Why can’t I just be “normal”? Those days are so hard.
I had been thinking about journaling again, I used to do it when I was younger, write stories and just enjoy it. Had some selected for essay of the week, prizes etc. also used to draw and read a book a day. Somewhere along the way lost that, and need to get back there and reset my mind in a sense lol.
So amazing you’re writing poems! 🙂
January 6, 2021 at 11:16 am #190373KerplunkParticipant
Yep I also have days like that. That said I’ve also had extremely productive days. I’d read up on the advice on how to temper ADHD. We need to be very organised, I use all sorts of devises and it really does help. Never forget ADHD also gives us powers others don’t. Richard Brandson has ADHD for example. Hope that helps, best of luck.
January 6, 2021 at 11:19 am #190374
Thanks, very true! There are moments I feel like I learn and retain information in a hands on sense way faster than others, but organization is definitely where I struggle. I LOVE a tidy, organized home but whenever I do successfully make it that way, it’s back to chaos in no time. What devices do you use?
January 6, 2021 at 5:58 pm #190389princesadelllano40Participant
Well, I do feel like that many times, at least 2-3 times a week. I diagnosed myself around 15 years ago, and even though I read a lot about it, I only got help around 5 years ago, and started medication around 2 years ago. So, my advice is be kind to yourself. I do get overwhelmed, but I don’t beat myself up about it anymore. I just try again whenever I get to have the chance to do it. It could be in the middle of the day, at the end of the day, or next day, or in 2 days, but once I accept that I am at a point that I need to reset, I calmly make a plan and I try again. I always let go. It is the only way you can move forward. The quicker you accept that this will keep happening and it is ok, the quicker you recover. You may learn in the future how to manage better, but when you feel like that, just let it go. Sometimes, I watch a movie to disconnect from the emotion or do something that makes me feel good and then I reset.
January 6, 2021 at 11:39 pm #190395AutoAdhdParticipant
I’m so sorry to hear that, but hey I hope you find what works for you.
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