September 13, 2019 at 7:15 pm #127658
I’m a late diagnosed female type person from NSW. Love to communicate & share experiences, support etc with fellow Aussies
September 14, 2019 at 3:11 am #127666
I’m in Melbourne and I’d love to be able to chat with people in Australia. I love my friends and I’m sure they love me too but I can tell they think I might be able to explain my symptoms as something else!
September 16, 2019 at 12:54 am #127692
Hi, I’m German but live in Queensland. I was diagnosed in Germany in 2001 at the age of 34.
September 17, 2019 at 11:38 pm #128362
Hi Alexia, and all. Wow, yes some of my friends, and family, can’t grasp the reality Of this seemingly appearing suddenly ‘at my age’.
Happily others do and are very supportive and also happy for me, that I finally have an answer after decades of searching.
September 16, 2019 at 8:42 am #127701kelblisParticipant
Im also late diagnosed, I live in NSW
Hi im Kellie and im 50
September 18, 2019 at 12:49 am #128368
Was it hard to be diagnosed in NSW?
We’re moving in Dec. from Sth Aus back to Penrith where we have family.
I’m hoping to find an Adult ADD/ADHD support group of some kind as I’d love to meet more folk who’re diagnosed.
I have friends (& family) with it but only one has been diagnosed.
September 18, 2019 at 6:45 pm #128502
I have been looking for a support group or even just a forum ever since I’ve moved to Australia – no luck so far!
September 18, 2019 at 8:38 pm #128507
Yes, Melbourne ADHD Support group on FB is excellent and I’ve just asked there if they know of any Brisbane groups.
I believe there is a f2f group in Penrith and plan to check it out once we’ve moved and settled in.
My few close friends have always been ‘eccentric’ – now I see that it was probably due to our shared neuro-diversity.
Also I believed that being unable to connect with the mainstream resulted only from a dysfunctional, chaotic & fairly traumatic family life 😂😂. The ADHD connection (myself, 2 siblings & at least one parent), combined with inter-generational trauma and poverty, explains so much.
A few months ago I saw a quote:
“ADHD Runs in Families.
Undiagnosed, It Runs Families “
I love the weirdness, kindness, hilarity, humour, intelligence, intensity and heaps more that comes from our kinky brains!
October 25, 2019 at 1:23 am #132433
Are you in Melbourne?
October 25, 2019 at 5:01 pm #132534
no, I am about 80 km from Brisbane 😉
October 25, 2019 at 1:20 am #132432
I’d forgotten all about this post. Then I saw it in my spam email folder which I never check usually. I spent ages trying to work out how to reply, remember my password… blah blah. Anyway, no nice of you to have responded and im sorry I didnt remember!
I hope you are having a nice day and are not somewhere you need rain?
October 25, 2019 at 1:48 am #132434
Hi again Alexia
lol I wonder if anyone else’s has gone to Spam.
After starting to write this link with Huge Enthusiasm and genuinely wanting & needing contact with other ADHD folk, I dropped into a state of ‘Oh not now, soon….sometime…..I Must…etc” and have rarely been back. Thanks for reminding me.
In terms of family and friends I’ve had two great responses – the rest kind of nod and smile, and I’ve only told one of my 3 siblings.
My 25yo grandson had just been diagnosed when I last saw him. We had the best rave about adhd – symptoms (we’re very different there), our experiences and also the real highlights like quick thinking, troubleshooting, lateral thinking, variety of interests – and more.
He’s the first person with ADHD I’ve had a proper talk and connection with. I have a good friend with undiagnosed hyperactive ADHD and she’s great but most of our symptoms and experiences are quite different.
My dearest and oldest friend was just so very happy for me. She’s witnessed to my struggles to find answers for over 30 years – and it finally happened.
How are you doing now with family and friends responses to ADHD? I hope the path’s a little easier.
Thanks so much for keeping in touch.
Cheers, Penny x
October 25, 2019 at 5:16 pm #132540
a lot of my emails go straight to spam, no matter what rules I have in place. Don’t know why…
I go with my gut whether I tell people or not. On the one hand I want people to know and educate them but on the other hand sometimes it’s better not to – especially when they are ignorant. Even doctors.
Also all people with ADHD are different. I am only hyperactive on the inside, you can only tell because my leg is constantly moving. I have to concentrate to keep it still, lol.
October 25, 2019 at 5:39 pm #132542
A quick good morning Tikay.
Yes, I go with my instinct/intuition about who to tell, including doctors.
Mine is all internalised. I don’t even do the foot tapping but my undiagnosed son does, all the time!
Off to sit with 81yo sis-in-law for the morning. I slept in a bit and was in/on the loo when the lightning 🌩⚡️Bolt struck – hubby & I had promised to be with her at 8.30am and we had BOTH totally forgotten!! He’s now worshipping me as a goddess for remembering! Must be the meds.
November 2, 2019 at 1:32 am #133186
This is a tad embarrassing- I’d forgotten about my last post AGAIN!!! and just found a response in spam from Penny; thank you so much Penny- apologies for the delay. I could nearly cry tho’ cos I think this group might understand my shame about this and maybe with you people I don’t have to feel that. Usually I make some very funny joke about it (self deprecating humour is by far my greatest and most practised strength for helping me survive ADD).
By the way, to Macushla; I hear your ‘going ’round in circles ‘ pain and putting off even the good things. I do it too. I think there’s a guilt factor in there somewhere, for me anyway…. can’t do a nice thing without at least having ticked off a chore box…
November 2, 2019 at 2:57 am #133190
Lol Alexia – you’re right, it’s wonderful to have a group where forgetting, losing, losing, forgetting…is the norm 😍. I use the self deprecating humour too….all the time…always have!
Funnily enough, since my fairly recent diagnosis & medication I’m noticing my classic ADD symptoms more and more. It’s almost like I’ve relaxed enough to allow myself to be vague, ditzy, silly and all the rest, and I have to confess I enjoy that at times – something to do with feeling more authentic rather than blindly pretending & faking ‘life’ All The Time. (Felt quite teary writing that ….. which surprised me 😢).
I do much better with written instructions too. Replying to specific posts here had me confused but Reply does end up with the right person (well, so far anyway….I think..).
Have a good weekend.
November 11, 2019 at 5:46 am #134049ShaleeParticipant
Love your post Penny!
I can strongly relate to you embracing your silly, ditzy self. There is so much freedom in it! I was formally diagnosed a few years ago aged 45. However, it’s only over the past four months or so that I have finally stopped trying so hard to be/pass for “normal” and it’s been amazing. I laugh so much more now! I have quit trying to fit in with everyone and don’t take myself and particularly my mistakes, so seriously anymore.
You referred to it as ‘life’, for me it was a case not realising that over so many years of trying to please/fit in/ not offend people (not to mention compensate for my mistakes) I lost my true identity. When I turn my filter off now I honestly shock myself!
I would love to hear from others ladies out there struggling to keep sane with the demands of work, erratic hormones and general life pressures in a NT world.
Shalee – Tasmania
September 16, 2019 at 9:24 am #127702
Hi I haven’t got a formal diagnosis. And I’m not sure if my symptoms? traits? are caused by peri-menopause or if that has just brought existing traits to the fore.
51 and in Adelaide.
One thing I’d love to know. Does anyone else put off the ‘good’ things as well as the boring things? I feel like I just go around in circles. I don’t want to do the boring, repetitive things – and they take me a long time, anyway – but I feel guilty about not doing those, so I can’t do the stuff that interests me, either. I feel like I don’t deserve to do the fun stuff. Anyone else?
Thanks for asking for Australian input; I don’t feel quite as isolated now!
September 16, 2019 at 3:58 pm #127803
Oh yes, yesterday it took me 6 hours to finally get out of the house to do the shopping.
When I was younger and not diagnosed I would spend hours on the sofa doing nothing, because I could not get myself to do what I was supposed to do (could not find a starting point and with what to start with, too many things on my to-do-list in my head) and therefore I denied myself doing the things I liked (crafting, hobbies etc.)
I know exactly what you are talking about!
I’ve just recently read about how menopause makes ADD symptoms worse…
Somehow I feel ADD/ADHD is underdiagnosed in Australia. Not a lot of people actually know about it.
September 17, 2019 at 11:25 pm #128361
Hi Macushla. So good to know there are others in similar circumstances, makes the isolation more bearable. I’m 69yo and was diagnosed and started medication this year.
Although I can see that I had ADD for most of my life I really started going ‘downhill’ in my mid forties. I was diagnosed with the usual things – depression, anxiety, bipolar… and medications did not help much. I started researching ADHD a couple of years ago and presto, it fitted me like a glove, including the fact that as estrogen decreases ADD symptoms become stronger.
The hereditary nature of this condition amazes me. The first description of more ‘female’ symptoms was like a textbook description of………not me, but my sister! One brother has the hyperactive aspect and my late mother’s condition had symptoms pretty much identical to mine.
I can see it clearly in my younger son ( who I originally thought might be on the on the autism spectrum) and in two of his daughters, who are currently being tested. My high-performing 24yo grandson has independently obtained diagnosis for himself (inattentive) without knowing about the family history.
Diagnosis and medication were difficult for me as I’ve been living in an isolated area of SA. Eventually done via Skype and phone consults with my former doctor, in Brisbane. Moving to NSW at the end of the year and I’m looking forward to easier access to health and support services.
I’m happy to keep chatting and sharing our ADHD/ADD experiences.
September 18, 2019 at 12:16 am #128363
It’s great to see someone who’s been diagnosed for a while. I had a smile about you taking 6 hours to go out & do the shopping. I spent about that long yesterday procrastinating about going to the bank and literally rushed in with only minutes to spare.
Having only been on medication for 3 months I’m very interested in talking with someone like you, who has had meds for longer. Meds have provided relief (release) from the constant mental intensity and emotional fluctuations. A peace that I’ve sought in many ways and places – analysis, meditation, a decade of alternative lifestyle & healing modalities, and so much more.
The procrastination is still very much here and although I’m working on putting some things in place to help me – alarms etc – even that’s hard for me to do. I’ve just had success in remembering to take medications, 4x a day, using a simple little Australian reminder app called
I’m also pretty dependent on my iPad & my hubby is going to support me in spending three mornings a week without it – hopefully I’ll get a few things done.
I agree that adult ADD/ADHD is under diagnosed and often not known about here. I have friends in Sydney, sisters, who have blindingly obvious hyperactive ADHD and the family doctor told one of them: “No such thing”.
My own attempts to be diagnosed were so frustrating and distressing and that I decided, in desperation, to travel from KI in South. Aus. to see my old psych doctor in Brisbane. Luckily he’s able to do Skype & phone consults and I still had an ongoing referral. I’ll see him in person when we come up there for Chr.
September 18, 2019 at 1:56 am #128374
May I ask which Psych doctor you are seeing in Brisbane (I live north of Brissie)?
Back in Germany one of my sons was diagnosed at the age of 8, he is also Dyslexic. During that time I read a lot of books and went to a lecture and it dawned on me (actually a lot of light-bulbs went on!) that he got it from me…
I went to see a Neurologist/Psychiatrist and had my diagnosis immediately.
Went on meds right away, took them for 11 years.
Unfortunately that brand isn’t available in Australia. It’s a generic Ritalin. Different filler, everything else is the same.
I started with the normal tablets 4x 5mg. Increased to 6x 5 mg. After a couple of years I changed to the slow release tablets – 3x 10 mg, every 6 hours, that covered my whole day until I was asleep. It was important for me to fall asleep while the last pill was still working.
Never had to increase my dose, never developed tolerance.
Since this brand isn’t available here, I dropped my medication but at the moment I am looking into getting back on them.
But bl&%$dy h&%ll is it complicated and expensive!!
In Germany Neurologists, Psychiatrists or any other specialists are covered by public healthcare. I only had to pay a certain amount for the meds (I think it was about 10 € per pack).
I have a letter from my doc with my diagnosis but I wonder whether it’s worth it to have it translated (more cost!). I am scared to go through the whole diagnosis process again. That’s one reason I have been putting it off for so long
(Moved here in 2011.) This and I was doing ok so far. And procrastination… 😉
If you have any questions – fire away!
Quick question – there is no private message function here, is there?
September 18, 2019 at 2:42 am #128380
Hi again Tikay,
Nice to hear from you and what your experience of diagnosis & meds has been.
I don’t know anything about terms & conditions – guess I should read them. This is my first ever time posting on here, so I know nothing. Place for pm would be good.
I was SO lucky with my psychiatrist. When we moved to Brisbane, around 2007, I just told GP at the local clinic that I needed a referral to a psychiatrist who bulk billed. He referred me to Dr Brian Ross at MacGregor. I was his patient until moving to SA in early 2017.
Last time I was in Brisbane, March 2018, I made an appointment with him to talk about ADHD. I’d realised I have in but didn’t know what to do next.
When I arrived at Dr’s rooms his admin told me that he no longer bulk bills. Thus, I couldn’t actually afford to even see him. Fortunately I was bulk billed that day, he agreed about ADHD and wrote a letter for me to give to SA psych when I found one.
The story continues from there but I’m sad to say that Dr Ross no longer bulk bills.
I don’t know much about Northern suburbs- we were north end of Gold Coast and my son’s at Cleveland.
Cheers for now, Penny
September 18, 2019 at 2:56 am #128383
still can’t find my post… strange.
I live about 70 km north of Brisbane CBD 😉
Lovely little country town, perfect for me!
I know Cleveland, we used to live in Manly West for a couple of years.
November 2, 2019 at 1:35 am #133187
I hear your ‘going ’round in circles ‘ pain and putting off even the good things. I do it too. I think there’s a guilt factor in there somewhere, for me anyway…. can’t do a nice thing without at least having ticked off a chore box…
September 16, 2019 at 9:15 pm #127820
Thanks for the response, Tikay.
Your comment about under-diagnosis is really interesting. Certainly the idea of adults having these issues is something I have never heard talked about; like many, I actually thought that it was something kids grew out of. I also think that, like autism, it presents differently in girls than in boys and that this is only just being acknowledged. People think that there are really obvious, stereotypical behaviours inherent in both ADD/ADHD and in autism, and if someone doesn’t show those particular traits, their behaviours are dismissed or ignored. It’s more widely understood now that girls with autism, for example, present very differently than do boys, and are more adept at ‘masking’ and simply mimicking behaviour that is considered to be ‘normal’.
Since looking into this for myself, I find myself looking at my Mum and one of my brothers and wondering if they have ADD, too. My Mum is in her late 80s and my brother early 60s and the thoughts of being aged with all the difficulties that alone brings, PLUS ADD, is just God-awful.
My brother is notorious for not taking advice, not listening, not acting even when it’s clearly in his interests to do so. As a result, he is all but alienated from our other two brothers and a source of exasperation to my parents. Mum will read a headline and first paragraph of a news article, panic, and ask me about, almost always saying, ‘I didn’t read the whole thing, but … ‘. My Dad is early 90s and has dementia. I keep telling my Mum about small things she can do to make his, and her, life easier, but she never does any of them! Drives me nuts! But now I’m looking at these things in a whole different light. Not helping me deal any better, though!
September 18, 2019 at 1:57 am #128375
My answer to your post went into moderation… I realised I should not have posted a link… sigh. Must have missed that part of terms and conditions.
September 18, 2019 at 3:26 pm #127821
And this might be one of the reasons, I suspected this early on after I had moved to Australia:
I was surprised to find so many children diagnosed with Asperger’s in Australia. I barely knew any back in Germany. In fact I only know one.
I got my diagnosis after my son got his. I read a lot of books, visited a lecture and suddenly it dawned on me that this was me.
That’s why I felt like an alien all my life.
What you are telling about your Mum makes me think my partner might have it as well… but that’s another story.
I had been on meds for 11 years before I moved to Australia and I was doing well. Unfortunately that brand isn’t available in Australia, so I dropped them.
Now I would like to take them up again but I wonder whether I would have to go through the whole diagnosis process again. Not really keen on doing it again.
I could have a letter from my former doctor translated, but not sure if that would help.
Girls are definitely different, they usually aren’t hyperactive (but can be on the inside!), daydreaming is an issue and being quiet and that’s why they fall under the radar.
September 18, 2019 at 4:44 am #128386RihannaParticipant
Hii, I am Rihanna. I’m from Sydney. Hi, I’m a late-diagnosed person.
September 18, 2019 at 6:39 pm #128501
Would you like telling us a bit more about yourself?
How old are you, how long have you been diagnosed and how are you doing? Are you on meds?
November 2, 2019 at 2:58 am #133191
Just wondering, having scrolled up, if Sydney people are any more aware about ADD being real than some down here ? 🙂
September 19, 2019 at 5:00 am #128525
I’m russell, 55 and I live in Brisbane. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Bi-Polar 2 around 3 years ago. More than anything that knowledge allowed me to unpack/repack a lot from my childhood, career and relationships. Still a work in progress. Some of the things I’ve done along the way are …..Meditation (vipassana and TM), nutrition, mindfullness and music therapy and a host of other ‘good stuff’ – which after learning I was still perplexed as to why I didnt call on these tools in my times of need nor was I practising then as often and consistently as I should to create more time spent in inner calm. I struggled with this for some time. It wasnt until I started researching schema based CBT that a light went on! Earlier this year I went to Bali for 8 days for intensive one-on-one CBT sessions (oh yeah…and great food, yoga, meditation) – WOW. when you understand some of your own maladaptive behavious and where they come from … enlightening to say the least it opens you up to you in a new light.
Interested to hear what everyone else has embarked on?
Happy Thursday people!
September 19, 2019 at 7:53 pm #128597
So interesting to read about your path and I identify with some of your experiences.
I’m 69yo, and actively seeking answers, self-understanding, peace, release from suffering etc since the age of 23.
I’ve practised several forms of meditation – Vipassana, TM, Raja Yoga & more – plus other good stuff, as you say, and with the same outcomes that you describe. Lots of great experiences including insights, catharsis.
I spent most of the 80’s immersed in the Breathwork process including training as a Rebirther. Lots of active meditations, vegan food, ‘processing’, trauma release, creativity. It was a challenging, rich and exciting time – I learned so much and still couldn’t integrate and practice on an ongoing basis.
In my mid to late forties mental health became a debilitating issue. Diagnoses included depression, anxiety, bipolar, PTSD and even BPD.
Reading an article on Women & ADHD, less than 2 years ago, was my lightbulb moment. Everything fitted and made sense as nothing else had.
Quite a bit of effort and frustration before I was finally diagnosed and started medication three months ago.
I’m running out of oomph just now, but certainly happy to continue sharing my experiences from that point.
I’ve tried CBT, and DBT, in the past and looking at the schema based CBT after reading your post I can see the potential.
So pleased for you that you’ve come to this point. Your Bali experience sounds fantastic.
Cheers for now, Penny
September 20, 2019 at 9:59 am #128621
Thanks so much for your sharing more of your journey. I hear you!
I too have been on a mission to understand, peeling back layer after layer it seems. And I’m unsure whether this is a common thread for anyone else on this post stream, but it’s within the understanding that I get clarity and acceptance, and something to work with. It’s how my brain works.
I taught myself to play the piano and read music – (i commented on a thread just recently around playing a musical instrument and ADHD) driven by a fascination when I was 5…simply…why is it that when my grandma hits the black and white keys does it make that sound but when I do it, it doesn’t. How does that work. I’ve learnt to love this about my brain – in fact it’s fuelled my career which I’m most grateful for- despite criticising myself for having a ‘bright shiny distraction’ thing constantly getting in the way of achieving all I can be, what I know I’m capable of, if I applied myself better. I tried telling myself the reality that anothers 100% is my 75% and that’s good enough. But it’s not. Not sure I’ll ever be ok with not being ok about this.
This whole search for answers “self-understanding, peace, release from suffering” Ditto on that FYI – also brings about a greater power of self observation (or in context to one who has done the work around meditation, yoga etc as yourself and others…I refer to this as ‘being awake’) It’s a double edge sword in my experience. Knowing is one thing, awareness, observation, centering oneself and then the doing – consistently….well, that’s where the rubber hits the road….and sometimes/often this car goes too fast to pull up at the right time. When you know what you have to do, and you don’t do it FOR YOURSELF – well it just feeds the loop somewhat I suggest.
My anxiety comes from 3 triggers – trapped, overwhelmed, lost (pick a starting point – they’ll all merge and take me to a place I dont want to go to if not checked). I can go on as to how these show up if anyone is interested in knowing….What was going on before this episode/event/release/relief that got me to this/that moment and how do I identify the pattern/theme/experience/sensation in the body, change in breathe (you would know this well I imagine), escalation in speech, smoking more cigarettes…the list goes on relative to each person. I had to learn this in order to build awareness and to give me the understanding I was looking for. For me, and I suggest others….there are so many techniques, theories, practices (in the ‘all good stuff library”) – In my experience and in the observation of others…we (hopefully) find a set of tools, techniques, practices that a) are effective, b) comfortable in doing and c) can be done easily without to much fuss/coordination/procrastination . Its like weight loss….x lost 10kg on the diet but Y gained two kilos on the same plan. And much like weight loss you can loose half your life on trying every diet known to god and man…and still not achieve sustainable and healthy weight. This is due in part to 2 key points in my view.
1) There’s an old saying…when people want help they’ll ask for it. If they don’t ask for it they’ll hit rock bottom and that’s probably where they need to be in order to be fixed.
And look, I applaud those who seemingly live a less challenging life in regards to their mental health…but I’m afraid this is a lived experience, one which has not been shared or come to life up until recently (shame, guilt etc etc etc) and it takes more than a simple option of A or B (above)
The thing about asking for help….to find the right answers, you need to start with knowing what questions to ask….for you…to understand you in order to know where to start, what next – kinda to test,measure, rinse and repeat
Anyone who’s seen more than one therapist/specialist/practitioner will know that they themselves often don’t know when it comes to ADD ADHD in particular. In my ‘bag of all good stuff’, \I went to a highly personalised 1-month integrated health retreat/program, full bloods, western/eastern approach, Equine Therapy (god I love horses – this was a magical experience) psychotherapists, yoga, Hunter Gather/Paleo yada yada, just so I could get a more ‘holistic’ view of my whole body/mind. Their answer (and yes its part of the puzzle) was Kryptopyrroluria – common in anxiety/depression patients FYI – its where the particles in our blood (the ones that get rid of waste elements) also take with them our ability to sustain Zinc/Magnesium and Copper within out blood that our brain requires to moderate things like stress/anxiety (aka cortisole/adrenials/dopamine/seratonin). And hey…after one month of bliss in a cottage nestled in the Hinterland..I was king of the world and had it all worked out. Until, like most humans, you put yourself back into the real world and start conquering it…then good old trapped, overwhelmed and lost creeps in.
2) In part I believe the answers/guide for each of us is within listening to our bodies/minds through awareness. Try a little of this and a little of that…not everything at once. There is no one magic bullet here. Dont think for one second ..great..I’m going to do this course, read this book, do what my friend did and YAY..Thats gonna fix alot of shit.
This is a combo meal deal here people..ya cant just order the fries
My point – No one silver bullet. Listen, stay still, ask more, listen again and try what feels right -test, measure, rinse, repeat or move on.
Someone made a distinction/reframe for me once that I tend to hang onto…never more true for an ADHD brain – Move out of ‘reaction’ and into ‘response’. Meaning don’t jump too soon, take it in, sit on it, breathe, then speak/act – this is where you’ll see the difference between the two. And a very good reframe to look through in order to balance ones emotions/energy and outcome.
Anywho – I just read through the above…Please dont take my comments as ‘preaching’ and apologies for the ramblings – This is one of few times I’ve gotten to share at this level. Thank you for making this far down the article btw. My intention is that in some small way, anyone who’s reading this can find something that may turn on a light.
Let me wrap this up into the point I wanted to make about Schema CBT and this whole anxiety from trapped, overwhelmed and lost.
This has been VERY interesting to discover as it shows up in relationships and in my work. (happy to share on how this shows up in work/relationships if anyone is interested and looking for some questions to ask themselves).
I sat in a therapists office pre-diagnosis and there was a chart on the wall about attachment in parenting. .How a child needs to learn how to soothe themselves, allowed to explore knowing there’s a safe place to come back to, how to organise their feelings – I love the analogy of the child coming crying to their mother, screaming like their arm has been cutoff when in fact they fell off the swing dismount, barely a scrape, the mother kisses the finger, explains what happened and that their arm is still there…in an instant the child stops crying, runs off happy and ready to do it again, Bless.
My first comments were…I dont remenmber my childhood and I certainly can’t recall ‘feeling’ anything like this
When asked…what were you like as a child? My response was…at high school I hid in the library at lunchtime and walked home the long way every day in fear of bullying, I was introverted and socially awkward. I dont remember much of my child hood up until about 4th year. I had dinner with my delightful (kidding) mother a few days later and asked her…what was I like as a young child? Introverted? Her response.,…Oh no Russell, I had to sit on you to calm you down, I used to put a harness on you out in public and the neighbour across the road used to tell her if they ever had a son they would never call him Russell after hearing my mother scream my name all day. I was like WHAT? WAIT…WHAT?
It was in that moment I discovered parts of the ‘why have I always longed for a deeper relationship with my mother (despite her not having the capacity), stayed in relationships where I’ve tried to fix others to the detriment of my own needs, the ‘please disease’, overcommit, love deeply, hurt painfully… oh hang on…this is this trapped, overwhelmed and lost thing. I never learnt how to organise my feelings, soothe myself, had a safe space to come back to and so on..I’m very interested to hear others experience centred around this in their childhood?
When we all grew up there was no such thing as ADHD in children, let-alone adults. I get it, I accept it. BUT my question then turned to….given that I have attachment issues, anxiety, depression, self medication (at times) issues…lets throw in some shame and guilt (coming out gay in late 70’s-early 80’s – disowned by you parents until around mid 80’s when it was more fashionable to have a gay son…didnt help at such a vulnerable time) … what are the stories I told myself to be seemingly ok from an early developmental stage, and how’s is this playing out now?
I get I was an ADHD baby, I know it balanced out in my teens, I then had my heart shattered at 30 (it took 3 years to stop talking about the breakup), my ADHD reignited and boom…hello to 24 years of surviving not thriving.
This is where SCHEMA CBT, as opposed to a more general CBT, I believe is key to unlocking this. (I must emphasise Schema from my research and own experience). It provided me with insights into my core values and beliefs across key aspects of my life, answering questions like…so why dont I do X even though its good and will help me, why I prioritise (or not) somethings/people over others/myself, why I react (and not respond), why my heart shattered so deeply (look up the schema on significant relationships/abandonment for anyone who feels alone/hurt)
More so, an action plan on creating small incremental steps across 5 key areas of my life. If nothing changes, nothing changes, and for someone who does everything NOW (and URGENT) last minute, or forgets – moreso often left feeling stuck (which feeds the Anxiety/Depression loop anyway) it’s sooo dam hard to invest in the long haul stuff…despite how amazing that could be. Likewise for depression…yes it will pass and come back …know this..but whats one small thing I can do during this towards the 5 key areas (check your list Russell!) thats gonna help lift me from the fog just a little earlier, a little softer and a little like I’m getting better at managing this.
We spend our lives trying to move away from what we dont want, what we dont like or even want to accept about ourselves…and at 55 its exhausting. If we all spend more time on moving towards and not away we may find ourselves in places and experiences we could never see before. Towards what you may ask?…for me this starts with the question ..what is the relationship I want to have with myself. Without this everything else is a story with no action or self-accountability. And dam….why couldn’t there be an easier question to ask…but what a great place to start. The difference that makes the difference perhaps?
Thanks for reading, I hope this opens a view to something they may help others in ths forum.
September 19, 2019 at 8:08 pm #128598
Also, Russell, I meant to ask if you know of any adult adhd groups in Brisbane – either online or f2f? P.
September 20, 2019 at 11:19 pm #128700
Happy Saturday Penny.
I’m afraid I don’t sorry. I’ve subscribed to this site around 2 years ago. Great articles and community engagement however US-focused so I tended to not engage until I discovered this thread just a few days ago. Open to suggestions though.
September 20, 2019 at 3:52 am #128610
the only thing I have learned and am still doing is Autogenic Training. I think it’s a German thing 😉 but works for me, most of the time.
I find exercising helps me to calm down, I need to move. Walking with Leslie Sansone, nordic walking (walking with poles) or step aerobics. I used to go ice skating three times a week.
September 20, 2019 at 11:34 pm #128703
Hi Tikay and thanks for sharing what works for you. I’m literally researching Autogenic now.
I agree with the exercise – albeit I’m a bit of a yo-yo with it.
BUT – you had me at Ice Skating. OMG I love ice skating. I did it at High School for sports then continued on after school. I ain’t no Torvil and Dean honey (other than in my head on the rink) but I can do a few tricks (as ya do). I’ve never really considered why I loved it so much at the time…upon reflection, I believe its because of the fresh air sweeping your face, the feeling of gliding, the self expression/dance, a sense of freedom.
Growing up in Newcastle NSW, I remember dreaming about one day skating on an open lake (rather than the aircraft hanger-esque rink adjacent to the train lines). 10 years later I found myself in Switzerland for New Years Eve at this incredible place called Bettmeralp with my then partner (german – see comments re heart shattered at 30 above) – they were all expert skills, I, soooo not. But there was a skating rink, in the open, 2000ft up the side of a mountain. Sony Walkman on, rink to myself, light snow…at one with my skates and mother nature.
In the words of Molly Meldrum….Do yaself a favour.
Have an awesome weekend Tikay.
September 21, 2019 at 3:33 am #128706
I miss going skating, but it’s quite a drive to the next rink and my feet are giving me a hard time at the moment, so I’m not sure whether my boots will do them any good. Season usually started in September and it usually took a month for my feet to adjust to my boots. I do have professional boots and blades. I never had lessons, I just love skating, always have.
Preferably with my MP3-player and an empty rink.
Once I went skating in Davos, Switzerland and when I was a teenager my parents drove me to a rink that was outdoors. It had lots of disadvantages – weather wise, either there was water on the ice or it was bl§$§dy cold, it was impossible to skate when it was snowing or raining. Therefore I prefer an indoors rink.
When I hear music I skate in my head – all the time… 😉
Oh and during the last world championships I stayed up half of the night streaming the event…
Better get back to do what I was supposed to be doing, hopefully I can get myself to do some exercises – it’s a struggle at the moment!
Have a nice Saturday Evening,
September 23, 2019 at 11:46 pm #128910mary.n.benParticipant
I’m Mary, 45 from Melbourne. Great idea to start this thread.
I was diagnosed in my late twenties and have been on Ritalin since I was thirty. I have a severe case according to my psych but Ritalin has been fantastic. Growing up undiagnosed creates and exaggerates so many emotional health issues -but from what I’ve read here I was lucky to be diagnosed as early as I was. I had so many problems and by my early twenties I was a junky living on the streets. Going through rehab meant I had to address my issues though and was the beginning of a positive change.
On top of the emotional stuff there are so many things I didn’t learn because my brain just couldn’t. The medication doesn’t make everything better but there are a lot of things I can do that I couldn’t before.
(That took ages to type on my iPad so keeping it brief)
September 25, 2019 at 3:58 pm #129112
It’s great to read that you were able to turn your life around!
Do you take the normal Ritalin or the long release one?
September 24, 2019 at 1:14 am #128916
Hello again, all.
Thought I’d share this embarrassment here. I just had to call my elderly parents’ home insurer. I had let the policy lapse in June. Only realised today when I opened some mail that was dated 1 July.
Seriously??? How hard is it to open mail??
September 24, 2019 at 1:40 am #128920
Hi Macushla and all,
I was just going to write about what I just did… lol.
I realised I had bought some meat I wanted to freeze and it was still sitting in the fridge, started to put it in bags, then went to wash my hands in the bathroom, realised my towels were still outside on the clothes line, went outside to get them, started folding the laundry, came back into the kitchen and the meat was still on the counter.
But hey, at least I was productive – washed linen and put it back on, vacuumed and mopped.
My to-do-list was longer, sigh. Still couldn’t fit in my exercises…
September 25, 2019 at 10:43 am #128921
LOL Macushla & Tikay
On opening mail…I can walk past the letterbox every day and not think to check it. Then when I do grab all the crap leaflets AND actual mail it moves to the dreaded ‘top draw in the kitchen’ – aka every bit of crap known to god and man drawer (thankfully the rest of my apartment doesn’t end up like that drawer). I Try and get things emailed (he says with 300 unfiled items in my inbox). Theres a concept called “executive function disorder’ https://www.additudemag.com/what-is-executive-function-disorder/ that talks about this (not to self Russell..read the article and the ‘how to’s’ on this).
And Tikay…I like to call what you describe as my ‘Oh look…a bright shiny thing’ disorder/gift/pain in the A (my close friends call me on this from time to time – sweet of them). And yes you may have missed the exercise for today but just reframe it…HELLO you washed linen and put it back on, vacuumed and mopped – this is exercise!!! Tada – gold star to you today!.
Now….where was I again..Oh yeah, thinking about what to cook for dinner.
Have a lovely evening ladies.
September 25, 2019 at 3:54 pm #129111
just what I needed to put a smile on my face 😉
Guess what, yesterday I exercised! For the first time in 2 months (I had established a routine and then everything went downhill due to emotional stress, extreme emotional stress which is still ongoing, sigh), boy am I out of shape again…
And 8 years after my move to Australia I finally filled in the form for changing the address for my government pension insurance (or whatever it is called in English)… that’s ADD procrastination at its worst…
Also found other documents I need to sort out. I am sooo bad at that. Hold on – no, I am good at ignoring things until they go away! Most of the time they don’t, that’s a bummer.
What did you cook for dinner? I need something for tonight.
Yesterday we had shepherd’s pie.
September 30, 2019 at 11:19 pm #129635
what I forgot to ask you – where did you get your diagnosis from, how many consultations did it take and how expensive was ist?
I am trying to figure out whether it’s worth it to have my diagnosis letters from Germany translated so I won’t have to go through the whole process again. At least for a starting point… they probably won’t rely on that alone I suspect?
October 17, 2019 at 9:59 am #131625
OK. Did we all get really excited about connecting with other Australians … and then forget that we had made these connections and so not contribute any more to the thread? Or did we all get distracted by other shiny objects?
October 17, 2019 at 4:57 pm #131667
Look, a squirrel or a bird or…
Well, I suppose sometimes life gets in the way. Or ADHD. Or both…
I am definitely still here 😉
October 17, 2019 at 5:02 pm #131668
Thanks, Tikay! I don’t mean to offend anyone, I just thought it was funny. Hoping that all is well with you.
My latest doufis moment was having to ask the GP for a new referral for my Dad’s specialist, the day before the appointment, because I had the original, but have no clue as to where it is.
I have been given a name of a clinic that specialises in hormonal etc issues so I hope to follow that up to see if they can provide some answers and maybe a further referral in need.
How is everyone?
October 17, 2019 at 6:19 pm #131684
I don’t think you offended anyone, I thought it was funny 😉
And I was just thinking the same thing the other day.
Is it the Lucy Rose Clinic? There is one in Brissie as well. I came across that clinic after I found a doctor who specialises in hormones.
I have hypothyroidism and that doctor finally ordered all the relevant blood tests and not just TSH (which was always perfect according to my GP!) since I developed a whole list of symptoms. He put me on natural hormones and within a day all my symptoms were gone!
I am reading a very good book at the moment:
100 questions and answers about Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in Women and Girls
Patricia O. Quinn, MD
This book is gold! I got it from the library first and had to have it.
I hope my partner is going to read it as well…
October 17, 2019 at 5:21 pm #131676
Hi Tikay. How are things in sunny Brisbane? Have you made any progress with finding a group or good ADHD practitioner there?
I have details of a Meetup group which I found for you a day or so after we were last on here……duh! Sleepy and dense at the moment but “ I WILL” post it this morning. xx
Any realistic tips for getting to sleep are welcome.
October 17, 2019 at 6:30 pm #131685
not too bad. I am more aware of my ADHD at the moment and can pinpoint and relate to a lot of things.
We (my partner and I) went to a shopping center recently and after a short time I was overwhelmed – too much noise, too many people, too much going on and I pointed that out to my partner. He responded that it is annoying him as well. Sigh. I told him that is not helping… since he is constantly saying “oh, then I might have ADHD as well”. No, don’t think so.
He did an online test and he barely hit the 50% mark…
I had no luck in finding a group yet. And since I am not on Facebook…
I found a translator who would be able to translate my diagnoses into English. Just need to go ahead.
I also might have found a psychiatrist – there is a clinic in Brendale and they have a couple of psychiatrists who specialise in ADHD.
Funny thing – my daughter-in-law just realised she might have ADHD as well. I could have told her 8 years ago… lol.
Oh – are your meds still working when you go to sleep?
When I told my problems with going to sleep to my doctor in Germany he made sure my meds were still working when going to bed. That helped. My pills usually lasted for 6 hours, so I started at 6 am, then noon and then 6 pm.
October 25, 2019 at 2:57 am #132436
Sorry to take so long to reply – hopeless.
Firstly, I’ll tell you about the Brisbane Group I found – else I’ll forget, won’t I?
Brisbane ADHD Meetup Group
at Little Big House,
271 Grey Street South Brisbane.
Next Meeting: Sun November 24th at 2pm
I found a contact person – info is a year or so old, so might not be current.
Megan Tognella 0426 865 323
I think she’s the one who started the meetup group.
It’s so good to hear that you found someone to translate your diagnoses.
When you’ve seen the psychiatrist at the Brendale clinic, could you please tell me what they’re like? I really need some resources for my son in Brisbane.
That’s funny about your daughter-in-law realising she might have ADHD, when you had worked it out years ago 😅. Is she going to do anything about it?
I remember the stress of big shopping centres noise, lights, crowds etc 😱. We’ve been on Kangaroo Island for almost 3 years with no shopping centres, traffic, noise etc. There is not even one set of traffic lights! In December we’re moving back to Penrith/Sydney so I’m expecting to be overwhelmed.
My med’s are out of my system by bedtime. I take them at 7am & 12 noon. My doc said not to take them after 3pm. I have some issues with insomnia and may need sleeping meds. I’ve just started taking magnesium before bed, which I’ve heard can help.
I’ve been a bit up and down. It’s an unpleasant shock now to have a bad day, I always decide that the meds have totally stopped working.
Overall really good – I could use a bit more energy of course. Packing boxes for moving at the moment.
October 25, 2019 at 5:33 pm #132541
thanks for the info!
I think I found her on reddit and sent her a message but no answer so far. Won’t be able to make it in November, earliest would be March maybe.
I hate to call people 😉 – I prefer email.
My daughter-in-law is going to the clinic in Brendale, I am waiting what she has to say about it.
I definitely want to go there, but probably next year. I am away from End of November till End of February.
A lot of doctors think it’s bad to take meds in the late afternoon.
That’s because you are being hit by rebound when they wear off… and that’s why you can’t fall asleep then. When they are still working when you go to bed, then you don’t have that problem. Thankfully my doctor was aware of that!
I too take magnesium before I go to bed, about 300 mg. Helps with menopause as well ;-).
So, I better get started with all the things I have on my to-do-list.
October 17, 2019 at 5:15 pm #131672
Macushla68 Good morning and thank you so much for stirring me to action here. I was so relieved to see your post last night because I’ve literally thought about our thread here every day…….and done.nothing.
So yes, I remembered. Shiny objects? Maybe.
More likely just horrible, intense procrastination!
Just like my helpful new schedules, alarms and apps were in place two weeks ago and have now disappeared into the chasm.
I need ADHD connections more than ever as I blunder, blindfold, through this wasteland.
I’ve been diagnosed and medicated for 4.5 whole months 😅 and I do value these connections.
October 30, 2019 at 8:27 am #132803herkimerParticipant
Hi all. So nice to connect, if I may be so bold, with an older community of ADHD’ers. Diagnosed at 54, just a year ago, but looking back, I must have always known at least to some degree. Still heavy stuff to swallow. What’s really nice is to no longer feel so isolated. I do find myself envying others with “normal” brains, but I also know we all have our strengths and our challenges, and our flat out inabilities (as well as our awesome capabilities).
I only started diving into my own awakened awareness of this “gift” of ADHD when looking into what was going on with my son, as it was quite evident that his focus challenges were not due to a lack of his own desire. The more I “read”, the more I was able to put the puzzle together (and I say “read” because I turn most articles I want to read into audio files as I find my comprehension is much better when listening rather than reading, which I’ve always been remarkably and embarrassingly slow at doing).
In something I “read”, a specialist suggested telling few people about having ADHD because to most it will just sound like an excuse, and it’s very likely that judgement will follow. I think there’s a lot of truth to this, but I’m curious if you have an opinion on this. Not that I plan to print a shirt to announce that I have ADHD, but I do wonder if sharing with friends is unwise.
BTW, Russell, I fully agree that meditation and yoga are a huge help in the challenges we face, regardless of how different those specific challenges may be. Not that it helps me find my keys, but it may help me remember to always put them in their “one” place.
November 8, 2019 at 10:12 pm #134019
It’s funny because for me it’s quite the opposite. I need to read things or see them or do them.
Listening to stuff just makes me feel tired. It’s like listening to a good-night-story.
When I read stories to my kids, I was the one falling asleep after 5 Minutes. LOL
It’s so frustrating that people don’t get ADHD. Well, if you have a broken leg you can see it and how it impacts people. ADHD is not so obvious.
I told my partner from the very beginning that I have ADHD and sent him links so he could inform himself. (Turns out he never did!) I always say, “I came with a manual”.
He doesn’t get it. For him it’s just an excuse so I can snap at him. Or he is saying, “Then I have ADHD as well.” Yeah, maybe but it’s somehow downgrading what I am dealing with.
I tried to explain it like that: “Imagine you are driving a car and that car is headed towards a tree, you know you need to steer around it or brake – but your car has no brake and the steering wheel is stuck. You are going to hit that tree, no matter what. And you can watch yourself doing so, fully aware. That’s how my brain works in some situations.”
And then add thyroid issues and menopause to that and bang…
Exercising helps, I just need to kick myself to get started.
November 19, 2019 at 7:47 pm #134910
Hello herkimer. (Loved your eloquent post btw)
Just on your son.. did you get to read about Executive Function Disorder? There are a few excellent resources for parents on this site to help guide you and him. I believe getting on top of this now and developing his cognition is critical. I would suggest (and peeps.. pls share your view) that left to late like many of us here, we become more challenged and more frustrated when trying to change our behaviour (mind/body) to ‘get sh#t done’
Finding his unique way of arranging priorities and task management under a constant veil of distraction (or BST ‘bright shiny things’)
As with all ‘recommended advice’ sifting thru and finding what’s right for you .. is key.
Hope this helps
(my inner child goes a little sad when I read about young boys struggling…. takes me back)
- This reply was modified 1 year ago by russellbullen.
October 30, 2019 at 5:28 pm #132908
You raise a good point, and I have been wondering about this, too. I have tried telling a few people how I feel – noting that I don’t have a formal diagnosis and still unsure where I would go – but I get mainly the ‘everyone feels like that’, ‘it’s just stress’, ‘you’ve always felt unorganised’ etc. but I can’t get anyone to understand that this year it has gone next level.
Having someone who ‘gets it’ to talk to would be a huge relief.
One thing I must say is that my partner has been really good about it. I have tried explaining it to him and I’m not sure if he completely gets it – and, to be fair, how do we really understand something we don’t have experience of? – but he is not critical of the mess and I know that’s hard because he works long, hard hours and I am not working – long story – and he must come home and wonder what the hell I have been doing all day.
Last night on the way back from my daughter’s gymnastics, I had to stop at the supermarket to get lunches for tomorrow – I had forgotten all about it – and had to contact the tax office and have my partner do the same to get extensions on our tax returns as I have been putting them off, of course, and the deadline is today. The worry and the stress that it causes is ridiculous.
I struggle with being ‘older’, too, but that’s the reality and it’s better than the alternative!
November 2, 2019 at 1:46 am #133188
I cannot work out how this discussion works… how do you repost to a particular post? If I click on ‘reply’ of the post it takes me somewhere different…
Are there any instructions please?
Contrary to what I’ve heard about people with ADHD I seem to do better with written instructions, and will always check them before trying to put together an Ikea item…
November 2, 2019 at 2:05 am #133189
I just hit reply to your last, alexia, so let’s see where it ends up!
I don’t know of any instructions, either and the last couple that you have posted showed on my email messages but I can’t find them in the thread; I probably just need to go back a little.
Don’t worry about anything you say here; I’m sure you’ll be understood and I get the bit about the humour but must admit I have days where I just can’t see the funny side. This morning was very much like that. I’m going out for dinner tonight with friends I don’t see often and I’m hoping I can get it together before then.
Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend.
November 8, 2019 at 10:16 pm #134020
when you hit the reply button of a post, it just takes you down to the very bottom of the thread but the reply will show underneath the post you replied to. It’s a bit weird.
I find the threads here very confusing somehow.
Yes, I am better with written stuff as well. 😉
November 4, 2019 at 12:31 am #133289
Hi, I’m 56, based in Tassie, and was diagnosed earlier this year as ADHD Inattentive type. It is such a relief to read what other people are sharing (that doesn’t quite read right, but…) because it really brings it home to me that I am not alone, there are others out there with similar experiences. When I read about people procrastinating badly, being distracted, in denial, I can understand how that feels because I have SO been there.
I always coped – more or less – with the ADHD, but recently the rejection sensitivity seems to be getting a lot worse – causing problems between my wife and I. Funny, but I don’t seem to have the same issues at work. maybe its something to do with the reduced emotional connection to work colleagues compared to a spouse?
Anyway, I have chosen to manage the ADHD without stimulant medication, I know myself well enough to know that if I go onto meds I will “relax” and think that is “better enough” so won’t work on all the other aspects which need attention to really improve the situation. So, I am trying to do this the “hard” way, managing diet, exercise, hydration (a biggy), as well as bring in mindfulness and journalling. I would love to hear comments from others about their experience around that, or just their experience in general.
November 8, 2019 at 10:24 pm #134021
we went to Tassie last year and I loved it! Want to go again…
I think it’s called high functioning ADHD. My doctor back in Germany was impressed how good I was coping, but it was still affecting me like hell.
You are probably right, it has to do with that emotional connection.
Oh and the rejection sensitivity… that is so annoying. Sometimes things pop into my head from looong ago and then I am still pondering whether I said the right thing or I realise I said something I shouldn’t have and so on.
And honestly, I did not have that when I was on meds. It did not bother me at all…
November 12, 2019 at 2:22 am #134185
Yes, Tassie is a fantastic place to live, but the downside is finding consistent work – that can be tricky depending what you do.
I really need the structure and routine of regular work to keep me focused and on track, otherwise I can really crash.
On the rejection sensitivity, I find that when someone (but especially my wife) tells me about something I “could have done better”, I get really defensive at first, then I start feeling enormously depressed and hopeless – not a great outcome. It is usually so out of proportion with whatever the conversation was about, that I often can’t even remember what started the whole thing off. But this is far worse than it ever used to be – whether it is changing due to age or something I don’t know, but its a pain!
November 12, 2019 at 7:25 pm #134264
Oh yes, I know what you’re talking about.
Arguments definitely weren’t blowing so much out of proportion when I was on meds…
And the reaction of my partner doesn’t really help either.
But that’s another story…
November 14, 2019 at 5:25 am #134360
So, don’t answer if the question is out of line, but how did you go with getting off the meds? I am told that they aren’t physically addictive, but i was quite concerned about the emotional/psychological addiction question – i.e. “I don’t think I could manage without them” type of reaction.
November 14, 2019 at 2:15 pm #134445
They are definitely not addictive, otherwise people would not forget to take them ;-).
I think it depends how severe your ADHD is. Everyone is different. Every ADHD is different.
I dropped them because my whole life changed. I had gone through a divorce, new partner, left my home country to come and live in Australia. And then I found out it is so much more difficult here to get meds, it is bl$&$%$y expensive and my brand wasn’t available here. So I just dropped them and since we were house hunting at that time – I think that kept me busy and I didn’t have the time to think about it.
Do I miss the person I was under meds? Definitely. I simply felt normal, could concentrate and got shit done.
That’s why I am seriously thinking of getting treatment again. I am just very nervous whether I would have to go through the whole diagnosis process again and I don’t really want to try a different medication since the one I had was working so well.
I would say… you can get addicted to feeling normal, if you know what I mean? Not to feel like an alien anymore.
November 29, 2019 at 12:16 am #135587
Hi again, all. Reporting in from AWOL.
Just wondering; how many of you share my fear of making phone calls? I HATE making calls! Conversely, I feel unreasonably capable and righteous when I do make them. I made a couple yesterday which went very well, and admittedly I fobbed off couple of others by choosing email – which I do like as it gives me a record of what was said – and I let a call go to voicemail so that I didn’t have to deal.
The other thing; so many of the articles on this site, and commentary in the forums, remark upon how much time ADD/ADHDers spend floating online. Which I am also guilty of. This raises several questions for me. Does online access make the condition worse? So are more people exhibiting more symptoms than in the pre-internet days because screen time exacerbates, or possibly triggers, symptoms? Very hard to quantify that, I realise, as diagnoses have been increasing, partly due to more recognition of the condition. But also – what did people with ADD/ADHD do with their time before the internet?
November 29, 2019 at 1:51 am #135588
Hi Macushla. I’ve Was always very comfortable and confident with phones. More recently that changed and I would do almost anything to avoid them – even with calls I truly wanted to make, to friends & family. Any official or business calls induced extreme anxiety & avoidance.
However….since I’ve been taking dex my anxiety around phone calls has eased and I’d say I’m halfway back to my ‘old’ phone self.
Re the discussion on screen time and ADHD numbers, I don’t know enough to form a strong opinion. I really liked your question about what people with ADHD did before the internet. Television definitely. Maybe things like obsessive stamp collecting.
For myself, it’s easy: reading. I was a compulsive reader from the day I could patch a few letters together. At home, in school (my books hidden inside textbook covers), in the car, on the bus, in bed, at meals…..
I would get as lost in books as I now can with electronic devices – to the detriment of schoolwork, home life, friendships. To the extent that my Year 7 teacher told me I was ‘not normal’. I couldn’t fall asleep unless I read until I dropped the book. Pretty similar now with iPad.
I’d love to know how others managed.
March 6, 2020 at 7:13 am #144192
Strange, I can’t post here… getting an error message.
March 6, 2020 at 7:17 am #144193
It’s been a long time since I was on here. I can see your message (post). How are you doing?
March 6, 2020 at 9:34 pm #144304
I wrote a longer one that didn’t post… trying to find out why.
March 6, 2020 at 10:14 pm #144307
That’s annoying for you Tikay. I hope you can sort it out and post your original. It will be great to catch up again.
March 8, 2020 at 12:51 am #144323
Still can’t post.
Getting the following:
ERROR: Your reply cannot be created at this time.
March 9, 2020 at 10:19 am #144349Penny WilliamsKeymaster
I’m not sure why this is happening. I have asked if ADDitude staff can see anything I can’t in order to trouble shoot this.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
March 9, 2020 at 10:24 am #144352Penny WilliamsKeymaster
There was a brief site outage recently. Our apologies! Please try your post again now.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
March 10, 2020 at 2:30 am #144430
March 22, 2020 at 12:54 am #164388
Ok… here I am, trying again…
It is sooo frustrating, I still can’t post anything that’s longer than one sentence.
I came back from Overseas (Europe, no Italy) 3 weeks ago.
I too hate phone calls, always have.
Have to edit for every sentence I add… this is stupid, really.
March 22, 2020 at 1:52 am #164397
What a pain in the butt, Tikay. Totally frustrating.
I’m going to try making a post & see if it happens to me. xx
March 22, 2020 at 2:11 am #164404
Well it’s been a long time in between posts from me. I’ve been talking with my son about the possibility of him and at least two of his teenagers having adhd. All I can do is offer the info and share my own experience, the next step is up to him and whilst he’s pretty sure he doesn’t have it (🤣🤣) he is willing to be tested and take the girls (all of whom have serious ADHD-type issues)as well……he just never….quite…..gets…. around…. to…it.
Finding resources and following through falls into the too-hard basket.
The thing is, I understand completely because he and I are so similar in many areas. I guess if (when) one of the girls reaches crisis point he’ll action something. It’s a vicious cycle – if I didn’t have ADHD I would probably be able to do more to help them…..but if I didn’t have it – they probably wouldn’t either!
Anyway friends, just having a vent.
Hoping you’re all well. Keep safe.
April 2, 2020 at 12:08 am #167596Tikay2Participant
I created a new account to see whether it would work.
I’ve tried many times to post something and I always got an error message. Nothing I did worked.
Pennyshore – I agree, that’s all you can do. They need to find their own way unfortunately.
Is everyone still ok?
April 2, 2020 at 12:39 am #167599
Hello again Tikay 🌸.
It’s nice to see you here again, good idea to make a new account and start over. Glitches like that cause so much frustration.
How are you faring with life in general? Did you end up finding a practitioner to ask about med’s?
I’m doing well on the ADHD front, needed medication increase a couple of months ago and that’s gone smoothly. I’m also weaning myself off my 225gm Effexor, currently down to 75mg with no noticeable effects.
How’s your daughter-in-law getting on ? lol would you believe that my d-i-l has also just been diagnosed? No med’s yet until she’s finished taking Duromine.
All’s well so far in lockdown. We’re usually quite isolated anyway so it’s not a big ask for me.
All the best. Stay safe.
April 3, 2020 at 2:16 am #167752Tikay2Participant
Well, just came back from Europe about 5 weeks ago, just in time. I had a feeling that I had to get out of there.
I did not have a chance to proceed any further about medication but I’m doing alright without. (As long as my partner isn’t annoying me… lol.)
I realised I need to exercise more, so I started today. Hope to keep it up. Walking at home, Leslie Sansone.
We live on 1 acre and I am so glad we do. Makes things a lot easier. I could not imagine living in the City right now (well, I can’t imagine that ever!). I just prepared a small garden bed, it’s tiny to be honest, but one has to start somehow…was weeding in the morning around the HSTP. There was a ton of gras growing.
Since I don’t go out very often, it’s not much different for me. Although right now I would love to go to Ikea or the shopping centre with no people around. Must be amazing.
I have only seen my d-i-l once since I came back, so we didn’t talk about that subject. I don’t think the doctor she went to was the right person anyway. We’ll see…
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