OH f***

This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  arista 3 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #122131


    Don’t even know where to begin,

    I just got back from the VA, I have been going to the VA off on since 2000. Originally for alcoholism, I sobered up, did the AA thing for the next 18 years, I didn’t ever got the relife that my fellow AA’S did. I was constantly anxious, angry, depressed. It was the insomnia that finally sent me back to the VA. Life was a mess,found out I don’t produce testosterone, so I also take test and of course this leads unbalanced E2 so I am dealing with some hormonal issues also.

    Below is a list that the VA and I tried to get some relief, my latest drug to try is QUETIAPINE FUMARATE. My Pshyc wants to try treating Anxiety first but thinks ADHD is likely. Adhd had been suggested when I was in treatment for being a drunk but was never explored again.

    Life has turned upside down these past two years, my mom came back into my life after a her three year grudge against me was dropped to get me to helper move back to CA after her divorce, the pressure from Mom was intense during the move and after, which lead to a yet another split. I had moved closer to her at her insistence to a place in her community this need up being a huge mistake as I had spent m savings to move here, it was too far from work for me and now I was thrown not a major depressive crisis over my Mom. I couldn’t move I couldn’t do anything. Unbenounced to me, my mom had been dealing with my dying grandmother during this time, when she died Mom came looking for me once again. Things seemed to go pretty well for a while, we saw a therapist. Things really get much better, However professionally I was still failing(forgotten appointments, pour performance on the job, it’d take me a week to get a simple landscape quote put together and emailed) so Mom asked me to move in with her to get my feet back. Great, my best friend in the world my beautiful little red pitbull Chili Pepper died because I had to let her health insurance go. Since I have been on hair trigger, I slept with an absolutely insane woman and am dealing with the f’ing games she wants to play.

    Anyway I have always known that there is a little something different about me, so I have explored and sought answers for the past twenty years or so. And then I read the symptom list for ADHD and wow, ure seems to fit and fit better then anything else that had been suggested before. I looked back and can see the pattern, poor school(I just didn’t get it?) increasingly introverted, Fidgeting, distracted. Early adulthood till now I have all of them but the big ones are irritability, lack of patience, driving is increasingly angering/irritating, If I see a line forget it, and inappropriate reactions to disappointment/rudeness/slights/looks/

    Am I in the right place?

    I don’t know how much more I will e able to take, it feels as though if one more thing goes wrong, I’m going to have to move somewhere very remote.

    Current med: QUETIAPINE FUMARATE -haven’t taken yet.

    LORAZEPAM 0.5MG TAB – worked
    ALPRAZOLAM 0.5MG – turn me into a A**hole

    For sleep:
    LORAZEPAM 0.5MG TAB -Worked
    And many others

  • #122230


    Gee, Thanks.

  • #122289


    Misery, we’re just regular folks here, and you gave a lot of information
    in your post. In addition, you didn’t actually ask any questions for
    people to respond to.

    I can tell you that when I begin to feel overwhelmed, as you do, I take
    a break, go somewhere quiet, take a few deep breaths and get my stuff

    Being angry and stressing about past events doesn’t do a darn thing for
    your future. My personal philosophy is that the past is what it is, and
    other than apologize to anyone I may have offended, what’s done is done,
    and there’s not a thing I can do about it, so, why make myself miserable
    stressing over it?

    Keep in mind I’m just some old guy with ADHD, but my advice would be
    to see a competent MD or Psychologist that is familiar with Adult ADHD.

    FWIW, I’d also suggest not bedding any more insane people; it’s a recipe
    for disaster. Don’t play their games…if there’s no relationship and nothing
    to discuss, then just say “Goodbye”, and move on with your life.


  • #123311


    That’s a lot of stuff on your shoulders. But you know we on here aren’t professionals and even if we were we couldn’t tell you anything of significance unless we could see you and talk with you.

    That being said now I would recommend you see a psychiatrist and get help with diagnosis. It could be ADHD. But it could very well be any other disorder too.

    This website is predominantly for the purposes of reaching out to like minded people who also struggle with mental illness, getting educated on problems such as ADHD/ASD/OCD/Anxiety/etc., and taking the first step to getting help. I think you might be in the right place when it comes to getting educated and taking first steps to receiving help. Now go reach out and get professional psychiatric advice. Truly seek help. You deserve to have a fulfilling and happy life.

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