Now what?

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    • #40144
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      This discussion was originally started by user hopper17 in ADDitude’s now-retired community. The ADDitude editors have included it here to encourage more discussion.

       

      My eight year old son was just diagnosed with ADHD.  Although I knew this would be the outcome, I felt like I had been punched in the gut.  This lasted for a little while and then the question of “o.k now what do I do?” kept creeping into my head.

      Of course I began to do my research, but what do I do now? It will take time for the school evaluation results and third grade is whizzing by.  By the time everything is in place school will be almost over.  I have private and group therapy set up for him, but what do we do as parents.  How do we discipline?  How do we coach him and help him when clearly what we are doing doesn’t work? When his homework doesn’t come home yet again, what do we do?

    • #40579
      Allison Russo
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user Paul eugene hough sr in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      Tell him you Love him and that he was chose to have ADHD because he is STRONG If he is doing well in school -dont sweat the little stuff Be sure he is open and comfotable with his therapist Sit down with him and LISTEN Make him Stronger by not making it a big problem Encorage him to do things he isnt so strong at Praise him on his strengths!! My son is 10 now Was diagnosed when he was in first grade We gave him a stress ball in his desk for when he feels out of control Get IEP for school and be envolved Dont know where you are from but they should have it at school Be sure he isnt getting bored Keep him busy in class ask teacher to keep him envolved Maybe if she sees him getting lil antsy give him papers to hand out or if he isnt shy ask him to give his opinion on something If you need to talk Im Rose Text me Best wishes Try not to make him feel different From his friends and family members Check therapy , meds , and school, keep pediatrician also envolved 💛

    • #40588
      Allison Russo
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user Paul eugene hough sr in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      Work with the teacher. Ask his teacher to write a composition book to keep track of what he is to do and put it into his book bag. Hopefully teacher will be able to help they did this for my son when he was younger now the kids have a book at end of day the write the days homework in and put the papers and books right into book bag.

      With my son he has high IQ – He gets bored – So when he has completed his homework he gets to do something he really likes to do.

      If homework doesn’t come home he sits at table and writes down that he is sorry he has forgotten his work and will try better tomorrow. Also sticker board helped – If he did his chores and homework he got a sticker. After a week if he has all five/seven stickers he gets five dollars that seemed to work. Don’t know your child so I’m just telling what worked with my child. Best wishes.

    • #40593
      Allison Russo
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user Ctmom811 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      For homework, what is the kind of stuff he is forgetting? Having a plan in place with the teacher is key while u are working on getting supports in place with the school. Short term, perhaps you could get a second copy of th reading book. For worksheets, check the backpack right away, and if it’s forgotten, have another parent take a picture of the blank worksheet so your child can recreate it. If it’s textbooks, having a second copy of the textbooks is a reasonable accommodation.

    • #40596
      Allison Russo
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user JeresMom in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      It is tough. I can’t really say at this point that we’ve been that effective. I can only speak for my own child – every kid is different. He hasn’t been officially diagnosed with odd but I can check off every box.

      One thing that always sticks with me is what his doctor said about discipline – set the rules and the consequences and take the emotion out of it. I don’t want to say don’t bother with rewards systems because they probably won’t work but I found that rewards didn’t really work for my child as well as punishment – and it was exhausting to keep it going. But the punishment(consequence sounds better but let’s be real) has to mean something or it doesn’t work. For him it was usually taking something away for a short period of time.

      As far as school goes – again I’m only speaking for my own child – he was never the biggest problem in class but I know he’s driven some teachers crazy. I always made sure the teacher felt comfortable calling me when needed. I think it really helps. Some teachers don’t have enough experience working with children with adhd and take things personally – that’s when things start going down hill imo. I guess I would say empathy goes a long way with teachers. I always tell my son that it is his job to figure out what the teacher wants (not that he actually does it) but hopefully one day it will sink in that he can control whether he gets along with his teachers or not.
      It is tough. I can’t really say at this point that we’ve been that effective. I can only speak for my own child – every kid is different. He hasn’t been officially diagnosed with odd but I can check off every box.

    • #40597
      Allison Russo
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      There is a learning curve to parenting a child with ADHD. My learning curve took about two years, but my son also has pretty severe ADHD and well as LDs, and he is very sensitive to medication.

      Start with reading all you can about ADHD. There are some great books available on parenting a child with ADHD. My favorites starting out were “Superparenting for ADD” and “The Explosive Child” (great for all special needs parenting, not just explosive, my son is not explosive and this book changed our lives).

      Second, get treatment. Medication was a game changer for my son (diagnosed at 6), after trying behavior modification techniques at school and home.

      Medication: https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1592.html

      Studies show that medication coupled with behavioral therapy is the most effective ADHD treatment for kids. A therapist can help you with skills and strategies for this special parenthood, and work with your child on developing lagging skills like frustration tolerance, regulating emotions, etc.—so it’s great that you’re getting that on your schedule!

      https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/3577.html
      https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1563.html

      Keep a daily journal! Oh how I wish someone had advised me to do that at the start! Every day write down the following:

      • time woke up
      • time medication taken, with med and dosage (also vitamins and supplements)
      • breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks, time and foods eaten
      • Any positive behavior moments/improvements and time
      • Any negative behavior/outbursts and time
      • Time goes to bed + time fell asleep

      Many things can affect behavior, self-regulation, and the efficacy of treatment, and writing all of this down daily will help you and your doctor see precisely when and how treatment is working, what triggers unwanted behaviors, etc.

      Set a daily schedule with routines (another thing I wish I knew earlier). The more structure the better, as kids with ADHD do best when they know exactly what to expect and when they form habits.

      https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/683.html

      Lastly for stating out (I know it’s a lot), is parenting strategies. Traditional discipline and punishment often doesn’t work for kids with ADHD. Positive parenting is much more successful. These articles provide tons of strategies and tips on this:

      https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/985.html
      https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1879.html
      https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/771.html

      You have a long adjustment period, but knowledge is power, so start there first.

      Penny
      ADDconnect Moderator, Author on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen boy with ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #40598
      Allison Russo
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user Sandman2 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      Besides all of the great ideas mentioned above – a book that I recommend a lot due to its practicality and ease of use is – “The ADD/ ADHD Answer book,” by Susan Ashley.

    • #40599
      Allison Russo
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user parentcoachjoyce in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      In terms of parenting ideas, one excellent program is Parenting with Love and Logic. There are facilitators in every state offering classes.

      Here’s a link to their website where you can find out more and search for a class: https://www.loveandlogic.com/parents/what-is-love-and-logic-for-parents

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