Not sure what is going on

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    • #80365

      Hello everyone,
      I’m not sure if this is the place for me or not. I’m really confused and upset by what is going on with my 6 year old son Sam. He is a very intelligent child and has a heart of gold. Very empathetic and sweet. From the very start of school this year he does very well behavior wise, but then he will go on a streak of just….well making bad decisions. I just got a call from the principal today (by this point we have a good relationship). There was another student that went to give sam a high five. Sam said that he thought the student wanted him to tackle him and wrestle, so thats what he did. Other students had to pull him off of the other boy. I am just so confused! He is such a good kid but just does stuff like this at school! Lately he has been getting more ornery at home as well. Doing things on purpose to annoy me an his two younger brothers. I’ve had the school screen him for ADHD and they haven’t really said anything about him exhibiting much of that but some of this behaviour has me wondering. He has an aunt and uncle that both have ADHD. Do any of you guys have any thoughts? I just don’t know where to go.

    • #80366

      This sounds like anxiety or depression to me. My son went through it too…feeling like he always had to be on the offense. He was diagnosed with depression and is currently on 20mg of Zoloft and is doing better. His emotions seem to be more ‘in check.’ Maybe reach out to a child psychiatrist in your area (?). Good luck : )

    • #80385

      First, please know you’re not alone. I completely identify with being a parent with a child who has a hard time with social cues.

      Have you spoken to your son to find out what gave him that indication? I find that with my son I cannot assume that he should have known the cues. You may have to help him to break down each part of the actions to see if you can help guide him.

      It’s very easy in kids with ADHD to have challenges with Executive Functioning which is part of what manages these social skills in neurotypical children. Here’s a link that you can start with that may lead to other ideas for you: Executive Functioning.

      If you can afford it, I would suggest getting your own evaluation done. Though some schools are great, they are also dealing with a large number of students with needs and sometimes cannot be as thorough as a private evaluation can be.

      Hope this helps!

    • #80550
      Penny Williams

      It sounds like he’s lagging behind in social skills and social communication. The mistaken wrestling invitation could be simply misreading a social cue.

      If he has ADHD or any developmental delay, make sure you don’t think of his behavior as “intentional.” Rather, view it as a signal of something underlying that needs to be addressed.

      Time for Plan B? 10 Tips for Dealing with an Explosive Child

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Trainer on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #80655

      In Kindergarten my son tackled a boy in his class giving him a bloody nose….Big grin from my son! It didn’t really occur to him that he just hurt someone, he just wanted to play and liked physical contact (sensory motor – HYPO sensitive – I hugged him A LOT). When his teachers pointed it out he was very apologetic – he really liked the boy! At 13 he continues to have peer challenges (not tackling….) 😉 He is extremely joyful and kind – adults usually love him but grant him some passes that his peers wouldn’t. He annoys his peers – too close in proximity, talking a lot about what is interesting to him but not necessarily them.

      We tried many alternative therapies for sensory motor processing and finally came to the conclusion (and official diagnosis) that he has ADHD and with anxiety. He is about 3 years behind in his social skills but finally has some friends (age 10, 11) who are high functioning autistic and think he is the BEES KNEES. He also gets along well with girls about the same age.

      Its so hard and confusing. No one could quite figure him out for so long.

      We homeschool now but he has a lot of chances for social activity – swim team, homeschool group, extra classes. We got an IEP for him and requested Pragmatic Speech Therapy. He receives this weekly but in the form of a social group (4 kids with similar issues working on pragmatic speech together). It is GREAT! We have a great therapist and a great group of kids. It feels less like therapy and more like a play group but they are learning a LOT together. There should be many, many, many more groups like this.

      I highly recommend professional diagnosis (or another evaluation by someone else). Did you POINT BLANK request an IEP Evaluation for social/emotional, pragmatic speech? Don’t let them throw you into SST meetings – it is usually a time killer for the school. If you did do an IEP evaluation and they did not provide a diagnosis, I would request a meeting with the IEP team and insist on a diagnosis or re-evaluation. If they are not able to provide go through your medical provider.

      Give that boy LOADS of hugs and love!

    • #80731

      Hi, I have a son with ADHD and anxiety, and some of the behaviors sound similar, although I would check it out with a really good psychiatrist. I will say that we have had great success with the Social Thinking books and games. Kids really do want to do ‘the right thing’, and it’s a great way to connect the dots for them on how to get there for those kids that may not see it so clearly. Best of luck – he sounds like a wonderful child and I’m sure you will help him to be his best self.

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