November 14, 2020 at 6:37 pm #187782JazzygyParticipant
I recently looked up ADHD as my friend has been diagnosed with it and to my surprise I fitted so many of the symptoms that I had the realisation (at 57!) that I had an explanation for many things about me. The elements that have held my life back are very powerful adrenalin rushes when in stressful situations, that has led to avoidance of interviews and giving talks, refusing being best man etc
I have very few friends even though I am reasonably personable and never really understood it. I just thought I was lazy, but looking at it in the light of ADHD it seems likely due to the stress of keeping friends and perhaps as I have great difficulty paying attention to someone for anything other than a short period. Funnily enough I work in a caring profession and much better at listening in this capacity than my personal life.
I have found that I seem to like really intense friendships and enjoy deep conversations and hate fluffy talk.
I also find my moods tend to be flat and although the test on here called me as depressed I do not really see myself like this, just a tendency to sadness more than anything.
Things that have blown my mind in reading on it is that explains my inability to learn maths, I was incredibly late to tell the time and I still don’t know my times tables!
Also despite being very good at sport as a child I was terrible at balance sports like rollerblading, ice skating, water skiing, windsurfing and never understood why until now. Also my clumsiness and bruised body from knocking into things.
My relationships with family have always suffered as I seem to constantly lose threads of conversation, drift off and forget everybody’s birthdays.
The point is it is in some ways great to know that I am to some extent not to blame for some of these life problems and I can perhaps be a bit kinder to myself. Family I have talked to, including my wife, are not very interested in it and seem to think I am using it to excuse my behaviour. So I am a bit conflicted as to how useful this is to me and I have managed to live a decent life, though work has always been hard for me to earn a living and controlling the chaos I create is always a battle.
I don’t really mind if nobody reads this, I just want to write these thoughts down in a safe place.
I have always felt a bit of an outsider, but who knows, perhaps I have found a family.
Best Wishes from the UK.
November 15, 2020 at 2:28 am #187785SarensiParticipant
Hello and well done for speaking up. I’m not a therapist so cannot confirm that you’re correct. However it’s good that you are now looking into this. Keep reading up on ADHD and keep listing symptoms, concerns things which are holding you up. I can definitely relate to your chaotic work approach. I’ve reached the stage where entering any kind of office or corporate environment brings me out in a sweat. I’ve not successfully stayed on course throughout my adult life especially when it comes to work. I wish you all the luck in the world. Keep Going
- This reply was modified 5 months ago by Sarensi.
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