Newly diagnosed and lost

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    • #52172
      nikkyuze
      Participant

      I have been recently diagnosed with ADHD primarily in attentive type. I have had struggles my entire live with paying attention, spacing out, getting irritated. I was also very sensitive as a child and everything bothered me and I tried to fix everything and everyone. Long story short I ended up in a hospital with a diagnosis of bipolar nos at 16 and spent the next 18 years off and on on meds that cut off my feelings and made me sleep most of my life. I finally found a doctor that asked me if I ever had normal periods. I told her no I was always going all the time I was like the energizer bunny. She explained bipolar is a cycle ADHD is not. I feel better but still struggle everyday. I can’t remember anything I forget where my keys are, were my phone is, I forget what my husband told me to get from the store, I can’t listen to more than one thing at a time, I cannot read and listen to people at the same time either. If any thing interrupts me while I’m doing a tasks I forget what I’m supposed to do. My husband whom I love doesn’t understand he thinks ADHD is an excuse to be lazy. He says well you don’t forget to feed the baby or leave him on top of the car or buckle him in so how come you forget other things? I’ve started medicine and I guess I expected it to fix everything but it didn’t while I can focus some it’s not all the way. This gives my husband more fuel as to why I’m not ADHD and just being lazy and he doesn’t say it but I feel he thinks I’m stupid because I don’t understand things the way other people do. I guess I feel lost. I don’t know how to fix things this time.

    • #52299
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      First, you don’t forget to feed the baby, because that’s urgent. Getting eggs at the store is not. The ADHD brain is motivated by two things: interest and urgency, NOT importance like a neurotypical brain.

      Secrets of Your ADHD Brain

      Second, pills don’t teach skills. Your ADHD treatment plan should include more than medication so you can learn strategies and lagging skills to work around the hurdles of ADHD symptoms. You could work with a therapist or an ADHD coach (or both) to do this. Medication slows you down and helps you focus, then you’re ready to implement strategies to make tasks, relationships, work, etc go better.

      Adult ADHD Treatment Options – An Overview

      It’s really tough when your family doesn’t believe that you’re struggling or that it’s your fault. Hopefully, educating your husband on ADHD, a little at a time, will help. The book, “The ADHD Effect on Marriage,” by Melissa Orlov is great too.

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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