December 1, 2017 at 6:45 am #69468
Hi guys, so I’ve never been officially diagnosed with ADHD but my teacher thought I had it in school and tried to speak to my parents who were having none of it. They didn’t really believe in it and certainly didn’t want me on medication – despite how difficult I was. I was very forgetful, usually late, got easily overwhelmed and would daydream in class. All my teachers thought I was underachieving or just plain lazy or naughty. I was also really impulsive and way too trusting. Other kids would dare me to say or do something and I would. I found it so hard to complete homework and assignments and my organisation skills were horrendous. Despite this I did well in subjects that interested me and I’m very creative. I didn’t complete sixth form and college and dropped out to start work. I’ve struggled with remembering things in all my jobs and have been pulled up on my punctuality so many times. I still get overwhelmed in certain situations and struggle to meet deadlines. Luckily, I’ve compensated in other areas where I get to be communicative and creative.
I’ve always had low self-esteem from being labelled ‘naughty’, ‘ditzy’, ‘a daydreamer’, ‘lazy’, ‘drop out’, etc. My mum has always nagged me about not finishing projects as I do find it hard to see things through.
I think as a result of being like this I’ve developed severe OCD. I’ll check my flat at least 3 times before leaving the house as I know how forgetful I can be (I even take pictures of appliances to prove to myself that I’ve turned things off and there won’t be a fire). When going on holiday, I’ll check my bag at least 5 times to make sure I’ve got everything (as I’ve lost my passport before). When I don’t want to finish a project or I get distracted, all the negative labels come back to me and I might get an intrusive thought like ‘if you don’t finish this, something bad will happen’. I know it’s completely irrational, but I think my mind has developed this to cope with my general forgetfulness or scatteredness. I have to concentrate extra hard on replying to texts as I’m so easily distracted. I also need to write EVERYTHING down or I just forget.
Sometimes I drink to escape my own head and it has gotten out of hand. I just feel like I’m drowning sometimes, but I’ve never had an official diagnosis. I totally forgot about my teacher until I saw a link on my Twitter timeline leading to this website.
I’m 28, by the way.
Has anyone else had a similar experience?
December 1, 2017 at 11:38 am #69496
I can’t commiserate on the experience, but I can offer some insight. To know for sure, and to get some help, you need to have an evaluation done. I would ask the psych to consider ADHD, anxiety, OCD, LD’s and maybe even depression. What you feel like is OCD sounds more to me like coping strategies you’ve developed out of fear and anxiety to repeat mistakes. I’m not a clinician though, so I could be totally off base. 😉
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
December 5, 2017 at 9:33 pm #69749
I concur on getting evaluated, so won’t speak to that portion of your post but one thing you said calls out to me. I can understand drinking as an escape, especially after what you describe. Of you feel your drinking is out of hand, definitely seek help for it. A lot of times drinking makes up for coping mechanisms we don’t have, but at the end of the day it only winds up hurting you.
Aside from looking into getting a proper diagnosis, I would definitely look into help with finding new coping skills that will not cause you harm.
I hope this helps… please keep us posted on your progress.
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