Need advice off Adderall after 18 years

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    • #104942

      Hello, I am new to this forum but have been searching for a place to go and write about my life as of late and what I have been experiencing. My life has changed and not for the better since September, when I had a psychotic episode due to misuse of a Diet pill that I bought off of the web. First of all I should begin by saying that over the summer while taking this diet pill over the summer, which i began taking it in May made me very paranoid and I was hearing voices. I embarrassingly have to admit that I really thought my neighbors were trying to kill me. This persisted through the summer into September where I totaled my car as I thought someone was in my house and was racing to get home. At this point I was hospitalized for psychosis. I would like to make it be known that I had been taking Adderall also at the same time, but had also been taking it since I was 20 years old and am now 38 and never even once had I experienced something so strange. The adderall really helped my mood, my energy levels, my concentration and my ability to stop being so fidgety. After being hospitalized, the psychiatrist that treated me wrote in my medical records, “absolutely no Adderall” and also I had lost my regular psychiatrist in August right after explaining to her that I was hearing voices she sent me a letter saying “I needed a higher level of care” and I have been without a psychiatrist ever since and also no Adderall nor klonipin which is another drug I had been taking for my anxiety for at least 10 years.

      My issue is that I was in the hospital for 4 weeks. It seemed like a very long time but I do not think that they treated me correctly when I got there as my symptoms took a while for them to stop. It was not until they prescribed Haldol that I no longer heard voices and so it took about 2 weeks for this to happen. Upon going into the hospital i was taking Latuda 20 mg, fluoxetine 20 mg, Klonopin 1 mg twice a day, and Adderall 30 mg twice a day. Now the only medication that I am taking is Latuda. The hospital psychiatrist wanted me to take Haldol for 6 months but I refuse and stopped after a week as it just made me lethargic and feel terrible. Basically now that I will never take the what I thought was a diet pill over the summer again, I will never have a weird crazy experience such as what happened to me at that time again.

      I now find myself not being able to get even the smallest of tasks finished, I am depressed, and the worst part of all is that I cannot for the life of me sit still. I cannot even sit and watch tv I have to pace back and forth in front of the tv and I cannot stop all day and it is driving my crazy. I am basically feeling like my ADD symptoms are at their worst and will not get any better unless I can get my medications back. I have a Dr. appointment with a new psychiatrist coming up in mid December, and I fear for the life of me that he will not prescribe me the Adderall nor the Klonopin that I have been managing my life with for as long as I can remember. I do not know if I should even tell him about my visit to the hospital as I do not think that will be in my last psychiatrist’s medical notes as she dropped me prior to my going in. Adderall has a way of relaxing me and I can concentrate on anything I try to very easily and I am positive that I need it back to stop the non stop pacing problem that I am having. I know this because I had some adderall in my safe and had taken it since coming home from the hospital and after 2 days of taking it, it made the symptoms go away and I felt normal again. I feel like such a weirdo going into this new doctor and asking him to prescribe me these 2 medications but I have been taking them for so long and they really helped me.

      I feel like if I cannot get it then I will have to try a different doctor until I can get it but I don’t want this to consume my life as it is bothering me each and every day. Does anyone have any suggestions? I know that I messed up over the summer by taking a stimulant, but I have learned from that and will never ever do something like that again. I have no idea what was in the pills I was taking, all i know is that they made me go crazy and it was not the adderall. I could really use some of your thoughts. Thanks

    • #104944

      Hey there,

      I’m not really qualified by any stretch of the imagination to dispense any medical advice on this, but I can maybe help a little in a more general sense. Please bear in mind that I’m not sure how the medical and pharmaceutical industries work wherever you are, so a lot of my specific advice may not be relevant.

      It’s good that you’re taking stock of your situation, and can link your restlessness etc. to the ADHD, and not to something else. Do your doctors know that you were also on the ‘diet pills’ as well as your adderall and klonipin? If not, it’s definitely a good idea to mention it to them.

      In the event that your doctors won’t give you adderall, see if they’d be open to trialling you on non-stimulant based adhd meds (assuming their concern is the stimulating effects). I know that would be extremely frustrating when you already know that adderall helps your symptoms, and your new meds may not be as effective as the adderall was, but perhaps they can at least ALLEVIATE your symptoms slightly, to the point where you can use other techniques to deal with the other elements.

      I, personally, would not recommend lying to your doctor about anything, even if that results in your doctor barring you from adderall, on a permanent or temporary basis, just in case the doctor DOES know about the restriction, or finds out about it, and then finds a different, more permanent way of barring you from stimulant medications or other adhd meds.

      The only other general advice I have for you is the usual non-medicine assistants that people normally recommend. Consider getting a fidget toy of some kind, to help focus your fidgeting to a specific set of activities rather than every possible one, and consider exercising or taking up a hobby (ideally one involving physical activity) to satisfy some of your energy-releasing needs. Additionally, the hobby will focus your attention, and the achievements you make will naturally boost your dopamine levels, hopefully taking some of the edge off your negative symptoms while awaiting your appointment/further appointments/treatment, or even after you receive treatment.

      I hope this helps, and I’m sorry you’ve had to go through what you’ve gone through. Best of luck 🙂

    • #105151

      Thank you for your advice. I have thought about this many of times and I think that at the end of the day, the only thing i can do is to tell this doctor the truth. It is a long story to have to explain to anyone and to answer your question I do not believe that the doctor at the hospital knew that I was taking this diet pill, which after asking was some kind of spin off of Desoxyn but higher in milligrams. I have to have a release of all of my medical records to this doctor so he is going to find out one way or another. I just feel horrible having to go into a new doctor and try to plead my case to him and make him not like me right off the bat thinking that all i am there for is drugs. I wouldn’t even mention it if I didn’t think it was a problem and I have not been able to see a doctor since Mid October.

      I like your idea of trying a different medication to treat the ADD but i am fearful that it won’t work. At the same time I do not want him thinking that I am fishing for him to give me medications as all i really am asking for him to do is to put me back on the meds that I was on. Again, I appreciate your taking the time to write back to me as just merely talking about it is therapeutic. Thanks again.

      • #105159

        Hello again,

        Glad to be of help. Being completely honest with your physician is pretty much always a plus. There are just too many risks going the other way- from being found out and being denied help because you appear like a junkie, or to getting help that might potentially cause you more harm than good. It sucks having to go and beg for meds that should be available to you as a right, given your condition. I’d argue that the best way to approach it is literally by going through the story the same way you told it to me. Explain that you have adhd, have done for years. You had issues that led to you being denied the medication, but you realised that this was because of this diet pill you were taking, rather than an adverse reaction to the adderall. State clearly that your preference is to go back on the adderall, under close monitoring for adverse effects, but that you’d be willing to try other medications if ABSOLUTELY necessary. That proves that you’re not just out to score drugs, and that you’re not just being blase with your health in order to focus.

        Are you fearful that the other meds might not have an effect on your adhd, or that the doctor still won’t let you have any medications? Bear in mind that adderall is a stimulant medication that makes your brain produce more dopamine. There are medications that work in a completely different way- telling your brain to keep a hold of the dopamine it makes. It achieves the same result (kind of) in a different way, and your body responds to it in a different way. This difference may be enough to convince even an extremely cautious physician to let you give it a go, especially as you do have a valid ADHD diagnosis.

        I can’t see how, given that you have an extant diagnosis, and that you have a valid explanation for why they adverse effects occurred, any reasonable doctor would not be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt re: your meds, but the risk is obviously that whatever they think you have that made them take you OFF the meds is so severe that they can’t trial you on it. I doubt very highly that he’ll think you’re just out to get buzzed, particularly if you phrase this situation the same way you did in your original post.

        I’m glad I was able to help before, and I hope this helps a little bit more. Message anytime, and if I can, I’ll get back to you 🙂

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