Need advice about ADHD man I am interested in

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults Relationships Need advice about ADHD man I am interested in

This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  littleflower01 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #172847

    littleflower01
    Participant

    I met a guy with ADHD last year and he after 3 dates already loved me and would do anything for me like I was the centre of his world, grand romantic gestures and so on. I believe he was hyperfocusing? and I didn’t get it so we went separate ways because I liked him but it was just too overwhelming. Now we are talking again! It’s because I missed him a lot actually. He tried to move on and meet another woman but his feelings for me has never diminished. He’s not hyperfocusing on me anymore though obviously but he’s talking to me again though he is insecure and says he’s starting to believe the reasons I mentioned for us not to be together last year but he still has interest. Is it worth it to tell him my feelings? I’ve tried to ask elsewhere but no one seems to have any good answers and just says he sounds phony, crazy or fake for being so into me so quickly but I have discussed this with him before, he’s not stupid. I brought up my concern once about how fast his emotions developed and he understood my feelings and tried to explain it best he could saying that things tend to go a little too quickly for him sometimes. He also gets emotional easily sometimes and when that happens he gets really really sad. That happened very early on when we dated and he thought he’d hurt me but he just misunderstood me and that freaked me out a bit. It also happened when I ultimately rejected him but he accepted it and respected how I felt still. I am also neurodivergent so I can sort of understand hyperfocus and getting emotional easily but I also have anxiety so I don’t act it out my the way he did, I am more for thinking through things until I just never end up doing them or in this case never end up expressing how I feel… To me he just seems more genuine since he still has interest in me after all this time and that he’s so kind to me even though he did feel I kind of broke his heart and I wasn’t always so nice, should’ve been more understanding and polite sometimes especially when I rejected him but sometimes I get kinda pissy when I feel overwhelmed and/or confused. He also still remembers even insignificant little things I told him ages ago which surprises me, but could just be because he was so focused on me then. Any advice on what I should do?

  • #172850

    chino
    Participant

    Maybe you should get checked for ADHD yourself because you mentioned being overwhelmed and thats the exact same scenario I experienced with an ADD girl I was messing around with.

    Overload is a very common symptom of ADHD. Not only that but your manner of writing is very ADHD as well.

    At the time I was only concerned about getting her in bed and had no idea what ADHD is. 2 years later got diagnosed myself.

    We tend do be attracted to other ADHD people. Get yourself checked.

    As to wether or not you should be together, I wish you do reunite and create a happy relationship.

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by  chino.
    • This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by  chino.
    • This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by  chino.
    • #172854

      littleflower01
      Participant

      I have autism and I have ADD traits. I’ve never had ADD put on paper though but I have many traits of it, though 0 for the hyperactivity part, so i’m aware of this.

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.