Need advice about ADHD man I am interested in

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    • #172847
      littleflower01
      Participant

      I met a guy with ADHD last year and he after 3 dates already loved me and would do anything for me like I was the centre of his world, grand romantic gestures and so on. I believe he was hyperfocusing? and I didn’t get it so we went separate ways because I liked him but it was just too overwhelming. Now we are talking again! It’s because I missed him a lot actually. He tried to move on and meet another woman but his feelings for me has never diminished. He’s not hyperfocusing on me anymore though obviously but he’s talking to me again though he is insecure and says he’s starting to believe the reasons I mentioned for us not to be together last year but he still has interest. Is it worth it to tell him my feelings? I’ve tried to ask elsewhere but no one seems to have any good answers and just says he sounds phony, crazy or fake for being so into me so quickly but I have discussed this with him before, he’s not stupid. I brought up my concern once about how fast his emotions developed and he understood my feelings and tried to explain it best he could saying that things tend to go a little too quickly for him sometimes. He also gets emotional easily sometimes and when that happens he gets really really sad. That happened very early on when we dated and he thought he’d hurt me but he just misunderstood me and that freaked me out a bit. It also happened when I ultimately rejected him but he accepted it and respected how I felt still. I am also neurodivergent so I can sort of understand hyperfocus and getting emotional easily but I also have anxiety so I don’t act it out my the way he did, I am more for thinking through things until I just never end up doing them or in this case never end up expressing how I feel… To me he just seems more genuine since he still has interest in me after all this time and that he’s so kind to me even though he did feel I kind of broke his heart and I wasn’t always so nice, should’ve been more understanding and polite sometimes especially when I rejected him but sometimes I get kinda pissy when I feel overwhelmed and/or confused. He also still remembers even insignificant little things I told him ages ago which surprises me, but could just be because he was so focused on me then. Any advice on what I should do?

    • #172850
      chino
      Participant

      Maybe you should get checked for ADHD yourself because you mentioned being overwhelmed and thats the exact same scenario I experienced with an ADD girl I was messing around with.

      Overload is a very common symptom of ADHD. Not only that but your manner of writing is very ADHD as well.

      At the time I was only concerned about getting her in bed and had no idea what ADHD is. 2 years later got diagnosed myself.

      We tend do be attracted to other ADHD people. Get yourself checked.

      As to wether or not you should be together, I wish you do reunite and create a happy relationship.

      • This reply was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by chino.
      • This reply was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by chino.
      • This reply was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by chino.
      • #172854
        littleflower01
        Participant

        I have autism and I have ADD traits. I’ve never had ADD put on paper though but I have many traits of it, though 0 for the hyperactivity part, so i’m aware of this.

    • #186811
      Aaron Fire
      Participant

      The emotional thing is a strain of ADHD. I’m pretty much that guy. Except, you know , far more dashing and with a hypnotic charm, lol. (Cough) where was I? If his emotions express themselves in a positive way — that bit is key — and you enjoy a guy who’s emotional, you may have a guy who could make you happy. But make sure the emotions are positive. There will be a lot of them. Do they cause him trouble at work? Does he get into fights? Has he hurt anyone? Is the tone upbeat and pleasant on average? Is he a happy emotional guy? That’s key. Most guys can’t re-start the hyperfocus on purpose but that emotional thing? That’s probably on 24/7 and might be something you find rewarding.

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