June 29, 2019 at 7:45 am #121332
I’ve been on Elvanse 20 mg now for 10 months. The first day I took it, it was like a whole new world had opened up and I felt amazing. It then seemed to gradually loose its effect on me and so my Psychiatrist increased the dosage to 40 mg and then my anxiety went through the roof but I stuck with it. She tried to put me on anti depressants which I refused to take but found yoga instead. I then dropped my dosage back down to 20 mg and started doing yoga daily which was terrific for about 4 or 5 months and helped me enormously through my fathers death.
I then started a very intensive yoga teacher training course in India and it floored me. I took my medication the whole time I was out there but became sleep deprived from dogs barking all night and a vegan diet which made me loose 6 kilos in just over a month. When I came back, I was depressed and anxious, lots of rumination about my past and my mistakes/inabilities to cope well in life started to come up as they used to.
If I go back to my Psychiatrist she will try and put me on antidepressants again which I really will not do, the reason for this is they never worked in the past and they actually made me feel worse.
I am finding it very hard to find a purpose in my life, what my passion is, I’m constantly coming up with ideas for a business, I start out and then loose interest very quickly and its impossible to carry on. I also find it hard to meet new people, especially people who inspire me. I need excitement in my life but struggle to get excited about something unless its something I’ve never done before.
I gave up alcohol 3 years ago as I had developed quite a strong dependency on it, I’ve also stopped smoking, drinking caffeine as well as pornography/escorts etc. So I’m also in recovery and find life rather dull at times as I can’t use various stimulants to keep me going.
I actually love being around people at times but I also really need time alone and a lot of it. I’ve always found being an employee very dull and only found satisfaction through self employment. I could never take part in team sports at school but loved to run, swim, cycle etc but enjoyed relays as they would get me engaged.
My question is, do other people relate to this? Perhaps I should stop my medication for a while, I tried a drug holiday but felt dreadful while not taking it. Are there any groups that I can belong to to get support?
Thanks for any help you have.
July 1, 2019 at 11:56 am #121576
It sounds like you may need to try a different medication — you haven’t found the right balance of help with symptoms and minimal side effects. There are two types of stimulants: amphetamine (Adderall, Vyvanse, Evekeo…) and methylphenidate (Ritalin, Concerta, Quillivant…). Almost everyone does well on one type or the other, but not both.
And here is some guidance on finding a support group:
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
August 12, 2019 at 10:14 pm #125049
That is amazing that you stopped all those addictions. I experienced the same. i got sober 30 years ago..I wish I would of had the Adderall back then with good counseling.
The depression I was suffering from was from being bipolar maybe they can test you for that. I say this because since i have been on this medicine my life has gotten better. I have what they call rapid bi-polar. That’s not the right term but in a nutshell, my ups and down used to go on daily. now is leveled out.It’s a different type of depression.
But what really got my attention with your comment is the fact you quit drinking three years ago.
That’s a long time not to take a drink, unfortunately, you are still withdrawing believe it or not. I couldn’t even pronounce some of the emotions i was feeling my first 5 years of recovery.
Meetings help a lot of counseling session are a must if you’re taking Adderal or any stimulant. You have been self-medicating for years and you finally surrendered. Find a counselor you trust and learn how to live without a drink, porn, etc.
Be patient with yourself. Its tough business. I dont know you but i’m proud of your efforts.
- This reply was modified 4 days, 21 hours ago by Penny Williams.
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