My husband and I both have ADHD! Help!

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    • #84214

      Hi. I’m 43 and my husband is 46.
      We BOTH have ADHD. And it’s destroying our relationship!
      I don’t know where to start. We do love each other. We’ve been together for 4 years. We have two babies, age 2 and one. We fight a lot. Truth be told I tho k it’s because of our ADHD. And I don’t know how to cope. Before I used coping strategies to keep my life organized and frustration down. But now it seems I’m overloaded. I have to cope with my stuff AND keep track of all his stuff! He won’t deal with his. And now I have to try to keep us both organized as well as our two beautiful babies. I feel frustrated and overwhelmed and short tempered and hypersensitive. Am I supposed to just find a way to keep everyone on track? If so, HOW? Thank you

    • #84339
      Penny Williams

      Communication is key in relationships where ADHD is part of the mix. Melissa Orlov’s book is frequently recommended for couples dealing with ADHD. See if there are some strategies you can try in these articles too:

      Sick of Arguing? It Might Be Time For a Smarter Compromise

      Tips for Couples

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #84407

      Relax, my wife and I both have it. She, a lot less than I. At one time about 20 years ago a doctor said point blank, “Listen buddy, you’ve got it in spades.” I took it as a badge of honor because we’d been married for 17 years. Now we’re coming up for our 35th in July. See, you can do it. I’m 66, just recovering from a stoke and still manage to get by. Okay, I am retired and have been so since 2003 when Uncle Sam said I was too crazy and depressed (ADHD and Bipolar) to work, but I’m not really. We knew my working days were being numbered despite a long sprint at a local prominent womens’ college. It’s all how you approach things and despite my casual style of writing about it, I’m very practical when it comes to financial security. Adhd has had a negative impact on our finances and while we successfully managed to raise four children to adulthood, I’d be less than honest in saying we did as much as we earlier hoped. But don’t give up. Hey, you’re just kids and learning how to use your bike with side wheels compared to where we are and I’m not saying that to rib or insult you. Hopefully it’ll give you some extra spring in your walking and trying to keep up with your little ones. Don’t worry about your ADHD, just live your life and you’ll be surprised at how it turns out. Pleasantly surprised. God Bless ya and God speed.

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