May 3, 2020 at 12:15 am #170988FighterParticipant
She’s angry lonely and sitting in her car in her garage. Has anyone been able to calm an adult child? When she’s like this she won’t stay with us and she doesn’t want us to come around her. Although she did let me come over today. We talk excessively in the phone sometimes she won’t say anything. I am very patient with her. I know she’s suffering. She’s on meds already. Any ideas?
May 3, 2020 at 9:35 am #170993Sonia95.UKParticipant
Firstly well done for reaching out, it’s wonderful that you are seeking help!
Have you spoken to her and tried to find out what seems to be the main cause of her being angry?/ lonely?
(is it social problems/ side effects of medication/ current lockdown etc)
Second- what is her age?
I’m a 25-year-old female and I have ADD, it can sometimes be very lonely for me too. It might help if she could have someone of similar age with ADD/ADHD to speak too? I am happy to be that person if she wanted too. I know when I get angry, it helps if everyone around me stays patient. My mum would still call to check in on me when I was at university and that helped me. A call a day, even if not much was said told me she was there for me.
Try to bond over interest/hobbies of hers this can do wonders. Does she like books/ particular music/ places etc or discover a new one together!
I hope this helps (This is my first reply in a forum so sorry if it’s too long)
May 4, 2020 at 12:23 pm #171062Penny WilliamsKeymaster
Sonia is exactly right… you ultimately have to work on what is triggering her. It could be anxiety from the pandemic. Just about everyone is feeling that in one way or another.
If she’s resisting your help, I’d let he know that you hear her and you want to honor what she needs. You’ll step back, but are there for her when she asks for your assistance or companionship. And let her know you do need to hear from her once a day, even if just a text, so you know she’s ok.
Try posting this in the adult discussion too — you will get some great ideas from others like her.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
May 7, 2020 at 11:30 pm #171432HopelessDiamondParticipant
Hey I hope things worked out for you. Idk If it helps, but for next time: for me, being reminded the the world is bigger than me helps so much. I have intentionally filled my YouTube with lots of travel bloggers from all over the world, and I watch that and stuff like “Parts Unknown” so I can stop feeling so self focused on whatever the problem is. As I See it, this isn’t a distraction exactly, it’s a exercise in gratitude or maybe inspiring the part that got so distraught. Letting go of yourself a bit to be reminded how large the world is helps me. But either way, hope you’re both having a better day than before. Best of Luck, Cheers
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