My 10-year-old son was recently diagnosed. I feel lost.

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    • #40263
      Penny Williams

      This discussion was originally started by user Momoftwo2 in ADDitude’s now-retired community. The ADDitude editors have included it here to encourage more discussion.

      My son was just diagnosed with ADD, and I am scared to start his meds. I don’t want him to turn into a different person, I want my boy to be him. Has anyone noticed any changes in their children when starting Metadate meds? Good or bad, just looking for some info — this is completely new to me.

      My son has a really hard time at school and this is the reason why he has been diagnosed, as he cannot focus, and he complains of spacing out in class. Besides school, he is fine at home, he does not have any behavioral problems. He’s a good kid, but just can not focus in school.

    • #42377
      Devon Frye

      This reply was originally posted by user Motherofkings in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      Sending you prayers. Remember that medication will not solve the problem but for some people it has made a big difference.

      It is a very scary journey, but things will get so much easier. I had the same feeling with both of my boys. One is 13 and the other is 8. My 8-year-old is taking medication but my oldest one will not. I was so afraid that he will lose his personality when he took his medication. He is still himself he is just able to focus better. Remember you are in control if you want him to take medications or not. The doctors cannot force you to do anything. My son is still struggling in school but we are working on coping skills with his therapist and the school incorporated some stuff in his IEP. Don’t give up. You are his biggest fan and his biggest advocate.

    • #42380
      Devon Frye

      This reply was originally posted by user brlk13 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      Hang in there — it’s not easy. Finding the right medication can be a long process. If a medication changes your son’s personality, it’s not the right one. Remember, if you don’t like what you see happening with the medication you can always stop. The only way to know if meds will help is to try them. My son was diagnosed in kindergarten, started the journey with meds in 1st grade. Lots of meds tried, many either didn’t work or caused side effects that we didn’t like, but we did finally find a combination that works for him. He’s in 5th grade now and the meds allow him to be redirected, to focus and to maintain acceptable behavior in the classroom, but they do not change his personality. Finding the right doctor who will work closely with you is important and that’s typically going to be a child psychiatrist. We’ve had two great pediatricians but they did not have the detailed knowledge needed to treat ADHD. A psychologist can help with diagnosis and therapy but they can’t prescribe meds. Best of luck to you and know that it’s not an easy journey but many of us have been there and you’re not alone.

    • #42383
      Devon Frye

      This reply was originally posted by user jumalia in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      Hang in there mom! I was in your shoes not quite a year ago…although I had always suspected she had ADHD, getting the diagnosis rocked me in ways I never would have predicted. My daughter had some behavior issues at 6 but she was never malicious or mean — just super impulsive and it would at times disturb the safety of other children. She is a gifted child — very intelligent and very bright but that almost made things worse in school — she wasn’t challenged enough so she wasn’t forming good learning strategies. Anyways, we began a medication and it was way out of my comfort zone…I was terrified. But, I was also afraid of what her impulses might lead to and she was beginning to form very low self-esteem. At first she seemed…different. We had a great doctor whose son has ADHD and she said right from the start if she seems like she’s not herself anymore then just STOP giving this to her and call me right away and we will move on from there. That gave me comfort. But things settled after not too long and she began thriving — she would say she didn’t feel like herself in the beginning because I think it was strange for her to have the ability to control her actions, she said she felt different in a “less wild and free way.” She was still the same girl to us just less wild and unruly. We only give her medication before school, it wears off before evening falls and we take weekends off unless we are going somewhere where her behavior might be unsafe (like Six Flags). Honestly we only changed doses once and the medication has worked beautifully for us — hang in there mom <3

    • #42386
      Devon Frye

      This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      What I find helps parents with the tough decision to try medication is to learn all the facts you can about stimulant medication and ADHD. An informed decision is the easiest and best decision. These articles will help with that:

      You have to remember that there are risks to not treating ADHD as well, including depression, anxiety, self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, lack of self-confidence, inability to achieve academic success, inability to hold a job, etc.

      ADDconnect Moderator, Author on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen boy with ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #42390
      Devon Frye

      This reply was originally posted by user Therightone in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      My son’s personality hasn’t changed, he is just more able to control his impulses. His father was reluctant to medicate, I was less reluctant because I have taken antidepressants for years. They allow me to function. My personality is no different.

      Some medications won’t work. Some might, but the side effects outweigh the benefits. Just be aware of the side effects, and look for those and any other changes in personality, behavior, or health that are undesirable. There are a lot of options, so don’t be discouraged if one or two or seven don’t work. But a psychiatrist will guide you. Don’t be afraid to switch psychiatrists if you don’t like the one you have. Most of all, you want one that encourages you to communicate with them.

    • #42393
      Devon Frye

      This reply was originally posted by user eemmss in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      We just started down this path a few months ago. We started with the lowest dose and are working our way up. For us the meds seem to be changing things just enough to bring focus and help improve our relationship.

    • #43827

      I really feel so sorry for what you have to go through. Will remember your son in my prayers. Take care.!!

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