Music Drama

Viewing 4 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #62996
      mymiley
      Participant

      Good morning! I am new to the community and this is my first post. I grew up in a household of ADHD siblings, my husband has ADHD and our two daughters have ADHD and anxiety. Each of my girls are unique with their challenges. My oldest was only recently diagnosed at the age of 17 so she went through her school experience without a 504. My youngest is 11 and was diagnosed when she was 8. She is extremely creative and imaginative. She is why I am posting today. We are experiencing some of the normal challenges associated with middle school transition; missing assignments, incomplete work, socialization. Her teachers have been very good at communicating with us which is a very different experience from navigating school without a 504. What has brought me to the boards today is band. I have always known that music can enhance and help with disabilities. My daughter loves piano and just took to it without much practice. She is currently signed up for beginning woodwinds playing the flute by her choosing. I have received phone calls recently from her teacher about inappropriate behavior, use of instrument and emotional outbursts. This I was not expecting. In discussions with my daughter she says it’s too loud and that the kids who sit around her are mean. I’m wondering if a group musical setting may perhaps be causing problems rather than helping it. Any feedback would be appreciated.

    • #63064
      TankGirl
      Participant

      I am 24 adhd,anxiety, and depression … loud noises make me cringe some days. I love music but some days I prefer silence. I guess you can say it is like a wire in my brain just snaps in half. My brain feels overwhelmed with all the noise and my tics are more noticeable. Some days noises don’t bother me at all. I have played guitar and piano since I was 8 on and off but my dad side of the family has a lot of musicians so I was never put in a big group setting while learning. Which made learning guitar/piano easier and not as loud or distracting.

      • #64497
        mymiley
        Participant

        My family is musical, too, and understand the need and benefit of it. She took piano lessons but recently quit due to financial reasons. Hopefully we’ll be able to start her back up. I appreciate you sharing.

    • #63277
      donsense
      Participant

      Band can be extremely loud and she is learning one of the quietest of the instruments. While girls at this age grade5 to 8 are at their most difficult according to educators, boys are still just noys and love to make a racket. To add to her anxiety she is just learning the instrument. Like her I cant stand loud noises when i am attempting to learn something new or at many other times i find them aggravating.
      Recently I spent the summer learning a major piece of music “Mozarts Requiem” with 70 other voices in a choir. Many had sung it before but not me. Normally i can pick something up (base Part) with very little effort but this was an 80 to hundred page terror. With no two parts singing together except the closing bar? Despite 50 years of singing choral music this was a brute. I was totally intimidated by those who already new it. And uneasy but i muddled through with a few hours work each week. Thankfully the director kept the instruments we were to sing with away and prepared us for how difficult it might be with them sharing the stage. They brought in the Orchestra before our dress rehearsal and I was totally thrown again. It is extremely hard to remember all you have just learned with the loud sounds of an orchestra in your ear . Trust me on this.

      Also this was described to me by educators as the meanest stage of girls childhood education. I suspect your daughter may be a victim or just reacting to the changes.
      Please check with her teachers and other professionals.

      • #64493
        mymiley
        Participant

        Thank you for your thoughtful response. In retrospect, I should’ve considered the noise would be an issue. I have also spoken with the band director and will most likely transfer her at quarter to another elective. She would like to do choir so perhaps we will see if that is a better fit. She loves to sing and hopefully that will be a better fit.

        • This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by mymiley.
        • This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by mymiley.
    • #63394
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      My son is very interested in music, but we knew band would not be a good fit for him, due to the volume of sound in a fairly small space (and the chaotic sound of kids learning instruments). For him, that would feel like an assault. We learned in middle school that he can’t do school pep rallies either. He was not willing to take chorus class in middle school either, I believe for the same reasons.

      It may be that a group band class is not a good fit for her.

      Here’s more on sensory overload:

      My Senses Are in Overdrive — All of the Time

      And a personal story you may relate to:

      Sensory Overload: “Loud Noises Make My Daughter Run for the Hills”

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

      • #64498
        mymiley
        Participant

        Thank you for sharing the articles. She has always been sensitive to loud noises. She has only just begun to allow me to use a blow dryer on her hair and navigating fire drills always caused a great deal of anxiety. SPD is probably part of the issue. She is do for a checkup so I will talk to her pediatrician about a referral.

    • #68700
      donsense
      Participant

      What a wonderful caring mom. Good luck. Please let us know how things progressed.

Viewing 4 reply threads

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.