Motivation Help

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    • #145073

      My son is 11 years old with ADHD and High Functioning Autism. We have conversation upon conversation about how he would rather not be allowed to do anything, than have to do a simple chore like putting recycling into organized bags. It’s a task that was made just for him, to be quick and easy, yet he still has no desire to do it on his own, and is reluctant to do it when prompted. He is the same way with all of his other chores. Does this happen to anyone else’s children? How do you get them motivated? Even the thing he loves most, video games, doesn’t work as a motivator. He will often lie about doing said chores, and tries to sneak his video games when no one is looking. Anyone have any ideas??

    • #145166
      Penny Williams

      That’s a tough situation because rigid thinking with autism is likely at play. A system of do these things to get privileges often works for those with very concrete thinking. Since that’s not working, I’d try tackling it in a different way.

      Try having conversations about how a family is a community and a community can only succeed when every member does their part. If parents have to take on more of the tasks, then parents don’t have time to do things kids want (where do you take him or what do you do for him that he wouldn’t want to stop?).

      He will never have intrinsic motivation for something he’s not interested in with an ADHD brain. You have to make the task interesting or add an extrinsic motivator that works for him.

      Uncomfortable Truths About the ADHD Nervous System

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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