Misplacing Things Creates Explosive Reactions

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    • #170655
      Leslie909
      Participant

      My 16 yr old grandson’s biggest challenge is losing things. When he misplaces something in his room, especially if he just had it the hour or day before, he gets so frustrated with himself he explodes; he slams, throws and destroys whatever is at hand. He has destroyed furniture while swearing at the top of his lungs. He says slamming and breaking things helps him. He also loses his wallet, jackets, hats, his bike helmet and has no idea where he left them. These episodes cause anger and anxiety in his mom and brother (probably the downstairs tenant too). Any suggestion on how to help him control his explosive reaction to his frustration would be appreciated.

    • #170681
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      He clearly has poor frustration tolerance and needs help learning not only that, but how to communicate and regulate his emotions more effectively.

      While this resource was mentioned with younger kids in mind, the Exercises to Improve Regulation section applies to every age:

      S is for Self-Regulation: Lessons in ADHD Emotional Control from “Sesame Street”

      Another applicable article with good strategies:

      Why We Feel So Much — and Ways to Overcome It

      And think about how you can help him not lose his things to often. Many adults with ADHD have an area by the door where they put everything they need every time they leave the house: glasses, keys, wallet/purse, backpack, shoes, jacket, hat, gloves, etc. Then there’s no searching for these items — they are always in this landing zone. You could even take it a step further and make tape outlines of the objects that should go there, to prompt him to leave those items in that area.

      In my house, right inside the door we typically go in and out of, we have big hooks for jackets and small hooks for keys, baskets for hats and gloves (one for each person), a small console table with plate and bin for loose items, and shoes and backpacks go underneath that table.

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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