August 8, 2019 at 11:56 pm #124737
Most have probably figured this out already. For years people have been telling me to write things down and keep charts for the stuff I can’t remember. What no one gets is that that only works for people who can remember whether there is no check on the chart because they didn’t take the vitamin, or because they forgot to mark it on the chart. For people like me, marking a chart or writing a list is one more thing to stress about, and anyway, I’ll walk out without the list, and yeah, there’s the question about WHY there’s no mark on the chart.
Recently, I’ve been having to care for my sister’s diabetic cat because my sister is frequently out of town. This takes an extra half hour before work (when I’m already lucky to get out the door on time) plus another half hour after work. And I have to make sure she gets insulin twice a day. On top of that, this time, the cat has been ill and needs an antibiotic as well. No slip-ups so far, because what I’ve learned is that lists and charts are useless for me, but physical reminders work.
Here’s my routine as an example. The insulin needles come with caps on both ends. So when I prepare the morning shot, I leave the end cap on the counter. When I come to feed in the evening, that cap serves as a reminder to get the evening dose ready. I leave the 2nd end cap there too, so that if I wonder whether insulin is done, I just glance at the counter. If there are 2 caps, I’m good. Before I leave, I discard both end caps. To make sure the antibiotics are given in the evening, I balance the morning needle cap on the bottle, where I have to remove it to get to the pills. Seeing it there in the evening serves as a reminder, and if that cap isn’t balanced there, I know I’ve already opened the bottle.
It takes a tiny bit of discipline, but it doesn’t involve any extra steps. I have to handle all those things in the course of getting the job done, and because I’m physically handling the reminders, the routine sticks with me. I don’t really need them anymore, but they take away the stress and when I’m less stressed I’mless likely to forget.
August 9, 2019 at 12:19 am #124738
Yes, I so agree about the physical handling for help! I do something similar for my own meds — I put the bottle upside down when I’ve taken it in the morning, then every night when I lay out my notebook and work bag for the morning, I turn the bottle right side up and place it on top of the notebook so I know for a fact it’s ready for the next day. Wish I’d thought to do that like 2p years ago!
August 10, 2019 at 10:47 am #124815
As you can imagine I haven’t read any of the inputs above… and I’m sorry. I’ve been falling apart for the last 5 yrs approximately… although I’ve excelled in my career and the fall out as if it was one unification bestowed on me from above.
As I sought out which post I should tag into… I’ve recited several songs in my head… I can’t remember the last time I heard… I’ve thought about treating my nails… bit off my nails as I tried to remember what I was doing. Invited a friend out for a meal… hung out my washing… checked on my cats whereabouts.
I’m incredibly tired.
Being me was such a buzz when I was younger, but the older I get and the less energy I have it’s like a dementia where I exist less in the current world, whilst still in earnest trying to stay myself.
This is my third rotten time in my professional career where I’ve had to take time off because I feel like a volcano… But not a volcano that would spew molten lava… just one who would threaten to… according to the readings of a geologists tools…
I know I’m rambling… but I think it’s worth to ramble… what I say may resonate with someone else.
I have my last consultation early this week I’ll hopefully be a little back to normal then.
(It was only in my late thirties that adhd became a problem, before then it was my inspiration).
August 11, 2019 at 12:40 pm #124823
Ellrchl – I read your post and my heart aches for you. Please keep reading articles on this site, and don’t give up on reaching out for help. There are so many of us who have been through similar experiences and have learned about different coping skills that might or might not work for others. Not sure of your gender, but a good therapist familiar with women & adhd has helped me. I haven’t tried it yet, but the info here might help https://www.additudemag.com/mindfulness-meditation-for-adhd/
Forgive me for being so long-winded, I’m still in the “excited to have an answer and be alive” phase of my diagnosis…lol
I was almost consumed by something similar to that brewing volcano feeling you speak of, after a huge life transition (move across country, new job, new relationship, etc.). Only by grace from above, I slogged through bad doctors & therapists and found an adhd treatment center in Cincinnati, OH (lived 2 hours away at the time). Before that, I had one doctor accuse me of being a drug addict because I decided to finally ask about adhd meds, after being diagnosed by a specialist earlier that year in another state (I was a 48 year old professional who doesn’t even like to take aspirin for crying out loud!!). He “doesn’t believe in adhd”, but was more than willing to prescribe any form of antidepressant I would like…my volcano almost blew that day, again only something from above saved me. One therapist decided that “tough love” and guilt would be an effective treatment for me (after 3 visits & pouring out my life story of struggles with self-esteem, rejection, etc.) NOT helpful!!
Because I’m female with mostly inattentive type adhd, my diagnosis came late in life, too. The self-adapted coping skills I had used to survive to that point just quit “working” for me. I had been thru bouts before, but I knew in time (a couple days off work, long weekend, etc.), it would “pass” enough to get by. But not this time – I found myself in a constant state of overwhelm, anxiety, guilt, and crippling depression for months. My significant other blamed it on menopause (which actually could be the case), but the ROOT of it all was my untreated ADD! Once that truth was revealed and I actually got treatment, the other co-existing symptoms could be dealt with and some have vanished!!! I was finally able to understand why I just couldn’t do all the normal things other people can do without a second thought. It wasn’t a moral failing or some kind of brain damage, my brain just works differently – and as you said, it’s actually much better than a nero-typical brain in a lot of ways! Especially when we learn how to cope and forgive ourselves for not “fitting in” when things go awry.
If you’ve managed to get to the end of this post, bless you! And, I hope it helps to know there are people out here who accept you and can understand at least some of what you’re going through. Hang in there – it does get better.😊
August 12, 2019 at 9:28 am #124873
BMoore816 what is the name of the place near Cincinnati that you’ve found help? I could use someone that understands women with ADHD!
August 12, 2019 at 10:15 am #124888
Yes! I want to know where in Cincinnati you are talking about.
August 14, 2019 at 2:44 pm #124930
ellrchl- that’s not rambling, that’s speaking my language! To you and everyone else who posted and lives with ADD/ADHD, I wish we lived near each other so we could give each other that face-to-face support. I am a 42yr old single mom, diagnosed 3 years ago this month. Still struggling to find a support team. So frustrating and discouraging. What I did learn was that in order to get the help that I need, I need to learn what it is that I need help with.
We are definitely unique. Awareness of what I am dealing with in regards to myself has been huge. At least now when a supervisor says to me, “But all of the other girls (co-workers) can do it…” I can just laugh instead of cry.
This is officially my first post. Thank you all who participated in this post for being a part of my first post! Stay strong, stay aware and pay attention to yourself and your needs!
August 10, 2019 at 11:55 am #124816
Ditto! I’ve found that if I can tie other visual/physical reminders to a habit that’s already established I’m more likely to remember. My morning coffee is definitely an established habit ;), so I’ve tied a lot of morning tasks to that. My bottle of gummy women’s multi-vitamins sits next to the coffee pot (I will start turning it upside down now after taking them, that’s a great tip! Can’t say how many times I’ve probably taken a double dose – lol!) My blender, protein powder, and to-go cups are also next to the coffee pot, so I’m more likely to get out the door with some sort of breakfast protein.
I also drop my lunch box near the coffee pot when I get home, so I remember to fill it up in the morning (unless someone decides to “clean up” the countertop, ugh). Then, I drop it at the front door immediately after packing it in the morning, so I have to trip over it on the way out. 😀 Much fewer forgotten lunches with spoiled yogurt etc. waiting for me when I get home… Although most lunches are still what I can throw together in 5 minutes bcuz I didn’t prep the night before. I keep a lot of Greek yogurt, string cheese, nuts, and fruit on hand. (But, often forget to include a spoon for the yogurt, oh well it’s a good start ;).
And yes, I have literally tied my morning meds to my tooth brushing routine – a pill bottle is attached to my toothpaste with a rubber band :D.
It’s so liberating to have a forum where we can share all of these crazy things we have to do just to get out the door in the morning, and help each other, instead of being judged and labeled all those awful things most of us grew up with…Thank you!! 🙂
August 12, 2019 at 10:12 am #124886
I use a daily drug organizer for my meds…it’s part of my morning routine now, so I’m good at that….night time, not so much. But how do you organize at work to remember to do things? I put tasks on my calendar but just don’t always look at it. I’d use postit notes, but I would need to many. It IS much harder now that I’m older, and started a new job 6 months or so ago … just can’t seem to get organized.
August 13, 2019 at 10:48 am #125091
The daily struggle is real! I can relate to so much of what I’m reading here. A friend just told me about this group and this subscription and it’s the first resource I’ve found that I can relate to..on so many levels! I have always been able to keep the balls up in the air..at least until recently. I have had a series of pretty major life events occur over the last couple of years and I find myself in a place where, rather than succeeding and being able to “rally” almost always at the last minute to ensure success at work, school, home.. now the balls are dropping with very little success anywhere. Work has become an issue, my house looks like a tornado came through AND I have 2 elementary school kids (having kids late in life was one of my major life events)to try and successfully parent. One with ADHD. Makes for a fun time around homework and teacher visits!
Oh, I could go on and on. I’m mostly rambling here but I’ll end with this..I’m looking forward to the help I will find by reading these comments and getting this subscription. I know I need it. SOS!!! Also, I wasn’t diagnosed until recently when I finally made the difficult decision to medicate my son. When I saw what a life changer it was for him, i decided to get the help for myself. I was a child at a tome when these conditions weren’t recognized. I have used so many coping mechanisms over the years..most of them are no longer working nowadays. Thanks for any feedback or shared experiences you have for me.
August 14, 2019 at 8:06 pm #125282
I live near Cincinnati and would LOVE to know the name of the place you found that treats adult ADHD. My daughter, 25, has it and I think I do too! Please share.
August 24, 2019 at 6:00 am #126364
After reading of all the stories, I came to the conclusion, not only me, but everyone is facing different types of life issues. My grandmother who is now suffering from dementia, is going through a mental imbalance issue. She forgets everything said two days ago. Whenever we talk with her, she only talks about calling a lawyer and let the Wills, and power of attorney issues gets cleared. We don’t want to lose her in any case. Even her doctor suggested to finish the legal plannings, as she can get into memory loss. Thus, one of our relative recommend us to call elder law attorney Camden County NJ, as we are living in Camden county NJ, and the lawyers are so helpful, in managing the legal process, as well as they also aimed to help families address the issues in aging.
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