Making friends

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    • #76252
      Linda Mercurio
      Participant

      I’m 70 years old female. I’m having trouble making friends. I don’t know how to start making friends. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

    • #76294
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      Go where people with similar interests to yours gather. Here’s some expert advice on making and keeping friends when you’re an adult with ADHD:

      Socializing Made Simple

      Are You Feeling Lonely?

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

      • #76399
        Linda Mercurio
        Participant

        Thank you so much for the information. I really appreciate it.

    • #76593
      mom2sweetboys
      Participant

      Linda, Here are some other to make friends:

      1) Ask people questions about themselves. OMG, people love this – they love talking about themselves and will think of you as a great conversationalist, even if you’re really just asking questions and listening.

      2) Keep your conversation (at first) light and genial. Try not to be negative too often.

      3) Reciprocate – if a friend invites you out for coffee, invite them to do something at a later date. It doesn’t have to be the same thing – they could take you out for a fancy dinner, and you might prefer to have them to your house for a glass of lemonade. Whatever! People want to feel wanted.

      4) As Penny said above, figure out what your interests are and go to places where people do those things. Meetup.com has lots of groups for like-minded people to make new friends. Volunteering is another great way to find friends. If you belong to a church or other organization and it’s hard to meet people there, see if they offer smaller groups within that organization so you can get to know a few people. (I belong to a giant cathedral and never made friends there until I started volunteering in the bookstore once a month – I meet tons of nice people all the time!

      I was a shy kid, and my Mom pushed me a little to get outside of myself, and the “asking questions” thing really started me on the right track. Best of luck to you!

    • #76726
      mbfunkytreasures
      Participant

      I totally understand. I am turning 50 this year and I realize I don’t have any friends to celebrate with. I only recently realized I have add and have not found a doctor yet but all the signs are there. I was in a church and very active for almost 20 years and came out with no real friends. When I stopped going to church I didn’t hear from anyone It was the beginning of me realizing I had add and that I was apparently hard to be around. But now I know and so I can do things a little different at least I am aware of my issue. I have since moved to a different state and am trying to find ways to connect with people. I have been visiting Churches and looking for small opportunities to connect with people. Does your community have a senior center, or maybe a class of some kind; local craft store has all kind of classes and no you are not too old to learn something new haaahaa! Even look at a local community college for some continuing education classes. I have been trying really hard to stay connected to I have made one friend and it is a new relationship so I have to work real hard to stay connected example we met at work so the first step was to try to meet outside of work which we made plans for dinner and I had to make sure not to cancel cause I really wanted to only cause I was tired and it is easier to crawl in my head then make the effort but I did and we had a great time. Now I am trying to stay connected cause I don’t see her at work I change positions and It is real easy to get lost in our own agenda. Not sure any of this help but If you need to talk I can try to listen. I am thinking of starting a support group online maybe facebook any thoughts I am maria and I live in tn.

    • #76990
      fern1128
      Participant

      Question for Linda:
      Are you not meeting people or once you do meet people who might be right for you it doesn’t work out?

    • #77210
      Linda Mercurio
      Participant

      I have a hard time meeting people. I go places but don’t know how to start a conversation. And once I say hello I get tounge tied. I’m very awkward at meeting new people. I feel like there judging me I get very anxious at first.

      • #77234
        Penny Williams
        Keymaster

        That sounds like social anxiety, and it’s very tough to live with — I know because I have it myself. I avoid a lot of social gatherings and situations because they’re just too uncomfortable. I have learned to do a lot of self-talk and push myself a little over the years, but I still get very anxious.

        You’re Not Shy or Stuck Up. You Have Social Anxiety Disorder.

        Penny
        ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #77305
      Victorgorghampson
      Participant

      Greetings sisters and brothers
      My very first post..
      I find putting my thoughts into txt very very very difficult
      Writers block on steroids
      As a consequence I never do

      As soon as I read the forum entitled
      MAKING FRIENDS
      I am painstakingly and very slowly
      Attempting to share my very lonely, alienated
      Excistance
      I might well be the only soul on my planet
      I have a saying
      Opps a 🌼
      I have been burnt at the stake again
      For being misunderstood..
      Unfortunately
      I can’t offer any guidance or approach with
      Posative solution..
      I refuse to bend to a society or conformity to fit in
      Why should we change
      It’s synonymous to that Square peg into round hole senario
      It would be a refreshing to discover other squares of all different colours and sizes..

      I’ve found as child easier to deal with others
      The gap grows wider and the distance broader
      With age..

      Not much awareness regarding adult and senior ADHD
      The general concensus.. Being children grow out of it
      On contrary.. At 53.am living proof of high end symptoms..
      I’ve found my ADHD.. An easy target for those who don’t have our best interests at heart
      Alarmly.. My family

      I won’t give up on the human race
      Unlike Mental illness
      The integrity of ADHD is widely disputed and universally exceptionally questionable

      Embrace your uniqueness..you have special gifts,..so
      I send unconditional love, and light
      At the end of the tunnel
      Namaste 🙏

    • #137819
      Linda Mercurio
      Participant

      I’m Linda Mercurio I’m now 72 and my life has changed considerably. I had detached retina surgery On January 2019 Witch left my eyes slightly blurry. On a scale of 1-10 I’m 8.5. cant drive at night. Mom died a year ago. She was my best friend miss her a lot. Have no family. I’m very lonely. My mom was my best friend. Hope to meet some new people here in 2020.

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