Making friends

[Linda MercurioParticipant]

I’m 70 years old female. I’m having trouble making friends. I don’t know how to start making friends. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[ADHDmommaKeymaster]

Go where people with similar interests to yours gather. Here’s some expert advice on making and keeping friends when you’re an adult with ADHD:

Socializing Made Simple

Are You Feeling Lonely?

Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

[Linda MercurioParticipant]

Thank you so much for the information. I really appreciate it.

[mom2sweetboysParticipant]

Linda, Here are some other to make friends:

1) Ask people questions about themselves. OMG, people love this – they love talking about themselves and will think of you as a great conversationalist, even if you’re really just asking questions and listening.

2) Keep your conversation (at first) light and genial. Try not to be negative too often.

3) Reciprocate – if a friend invites you out for coffee, invite them to do something at a later date. It doesn’t have to be the same thing – they could take you out for a fancy dinner, and you might prefer to have them to your house for a glass of lemonade. Whatever! People want to feel wanted.

4) As Penny said above, figure out what your interests are and go to places where people do those things. Meetup.com has lots of groups for like-minded people to make new friends. Volunteering is another great way to find friends. If you belong to a church or other organization and it’s hard to meet people there, see if they offer smaller groups within that organization so you can get to know a few people. (I belong to a giant cathedral and never made friends there until I started volunteering in the bookstore once a month – I meet tons of nice people all the time!

I was a shy kid, and my Mom pushed me a little to get outside of myself, and the “asking questions” thing really started me on the right track. Best of luck to you!

[mbfunkytreasuresParticipant]

I totally understand. I am turning 50 this year and I realize I don’t have any friends to celebrate with. I only recently realized I have add and have not found a doctor yet but all the signs are there. I was in a church and very active for almost 20 years and came out with no real friends. When I stopped going to church I didn’t hear from anyone It was the beginning of me realizing I had add and that I was apparently hard to be around. But now I know and so I can do things a little different at least I am aware of my issue. I have since moved to a different state and am trying to find ways to connect with people. I have been visiting Churches and looking for small opportunities to connect with people. Does your community have a senior center, or maybe a class of some kind; local craft store has all kind of classes and no you are not too old to learn something new haaahaa! Even look at a local community college for some continuing education classes. I have been trying really hard to stay connected to I have made one friend and it is a new relationship so I have to work real hard to stay connected example we met at work so the first step was to try to meet outside of work which we made plans for dinner and I had to make sure not to cancel cause I really wanted to only cause I was tired and it is easier to crawl in my head then make the effort but I did and we had a great time. Now I am trying to stay connected cause I don’t see her at work I change positions and It is real easy to get lost in our own agenda. Not sure any of this help but If you need to talk I can try to listen. I am thinking of starting a support group online maybe facebook any thoughts I am maria and I live in tn.

[fern1128Participant]

Question for Linda:
Are you not meeting people or once you do meet people who might be right for you it doesn’t work out?

[Linda MercurioParticipant]

I have a hard time meeting people. I go places but don’t know how to start a conversation. And once I say hello I get tounge tied. I’m very awkward at meeting new people. I feel like there judging me I get very anxious at first.

[ADHDmommaKeymaster]

That sounds like social anxiety, and it’s very tough to live with — I know because I have it myself. I avoid a lot of social gatherings and situations because they’re just too uncomfortable. I have learned to do a lot of self-talk and push myself a little over the years, but I still get very anxious.

You’re Not Shy or Stuck Up. You Have Social Anxiety Disorder.

Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

[VictorgorghampsonParticipant]

Greetings sisters and brothers
My very first post..
I find putting my thoughts into txt very very very difficult
Writers block on steroids
As a consequence I never do

As soon as I read the forum entitled
MAKING FRIENDS
I am painstakingly and very slowly
Attempting to share my very lonely, alienated
Excistance
I might well be the only soul on my planet
I have a saying
Opps a 🌼
I have been burnt at the stake again
For being misunderstood..
Unfortunately
I can’t offer any guidance or approach with
Posative solution..
I refuse to bend to a society or conformity to fit in
Why should we change
It’s synonymous to that Square peg into round hole senario
It would be a refreshing to discover other squares of all different colours and sizes..

I’ve found as child easier to deal with others
The gap grows wider and the distance broader
With age..

Not much awareness regarding adult and senior ADHD
The general concensus.. Being children grow out of it
On contrary.. At 53.am living proof of high end symptoms..
I’ve found my ADHD.. An easy target for those who don’t have our best interests at heart
Alarmly.. My family

I won’t give up on the human race
Unlike Mental illness
The integrity of ADHD is widely disputed and universally exceptionally questionable

Embrace your uniqueness..you have special gifts,..so
I send unconditional love, and light
At the end of the tunnel
Namaste 🙏

[Author]

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