lying and venting

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    • #83934
      dragoncita
      Participant

      My son is just being so obnoxious tonight. It’s so hard to hold it together. He came from school with a clearly made up story about helping another kid who gave him a toy. I finally got him to confess that that was made up and he had found it at school. I guess I thought this would achieve something, maybe make him feel better to tell me the truth (I told him telling me a made up story was not okay, but that I was very impressed that he told me the truth in the end), but it seems to have made things worse. Before this he was supposed to be practicing guitar but was pretty much unable to do it and managed to enrage my husband (who was monitoring guitar practice because I just can’t anymore). Now he’s supposed to be taking a bath under my husband’s jurisdiction but I can hear the obnoxious tone in his voice from here. Then I’ll put him to bed.

      Some days are just really hard. I’m never sure I’m doing the right thing about the lying. Ugh.

    • #83941
      BRLK
      Participant

      Yep. Some days are hard. You don’t mention how old your son is, but mine started to lie this year – he’s 12 and in his first year of middle school. In the past he’s always been honest – not always making perfect choices mind you, but owning up to whatever he did pretty quickly and openly. But this year he’s decided to try out lying about lots of things. For my son I feel like hormones as he approaches puberty play a part. I also think it’s got a lot to do with impulsivity. He’s always been impulsive with his behavior but it seems to have ramped up all of a sudden and that he’s becoming more savvy and is trying to see if lying will get him out if predicaments that the impulsive behavior gets him into. I don’t have an answer for you, just letting you know we’re in a similar boat 😬

    • #83957
      eliz2112
      Participant

      Don’t get me started about stealing!

    • #83960
      dragoncita
      Participant

      thanks for the empathy. my son is only 9 1/2. i’ve really tried/am trying to teach him that honesty is a superimportant value!

    • #84001
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      When kids with ADHD lie, it’s not a character flaw or moral shortcoming. It’s part of how their brains work differently. It’s often due to overwhelming impulsivity, to avoid a painful situation, or to express how something FELT to them.

      Here’s more on ADHD and lying:

      The Truth About Your Child’s Lying

      What to Do if Your Child is a Chronic Fibber

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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