Losing time … so much time (a little frustration rant)

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    • #122934
      WhereIsMyMind
      Participant

      Hi all,

      first time post here (note: no native English speaker, so please overlook grammar and spelling errors please).

      So it’s 11:30 PM, I’m running through my house looking for a charging cable for my Garmin watch … again. I think I have lost half a lifetime by now (I’m in my 40s) just looking for stuff I’ve misplaced. So has my mother. It seems to run in the family.

      I hate it! This dumb brain of mine that just never seems to register the stuff I do since it is too preoccupied planning ahead, or rehashing a cartoon I’ve seen 15 years ago in great full HD quality, or fantasizing about plans that I will never realize.

      No matter how many times I tell myself to ‘stay in the moment’, it seems as if my brain is like a monkey that’s always all over the place. It’s hard to explain it to my wife. Her brain is a well trained dog, it obeys her every command. It sits and waits patiently while she puts her keys in the exact same place EVERY SINGLE TIME. Mine has already long forgotten they’re on the outside of the door by the time I close it carrying a week’s worth of groceries, opening an envelope and simultaneously remembering that I forgot my barber appointment 2 days ago (thanks very much brain, that info is very useful now).

      People call it sloppiness, or even worse laziness. As if I intentionally refuse to put stuff in its place. For them it must be as if every day I expect an asteroid to slam into earth killing everyone off in a fiery inferno, and at least I have saved 5 seconds not putting my wallet where it should be. 5 seconds they have stupidly wasted being organised. Who’s laughing now!

      So yes, here I am, desperately trying to cage my monkey brain, trying to remember when I saw that lousy cable for the last time. I give up. I won’t go running tomorrow since the battery of my watch is dead.

      I so much hope that asteroid comes crashing tonight. Knowing that the last 30 minutes of my mortal life I have wasted looking for yet another thing I’ve misplaced.

    • #122948
      Dizzy
      Participant

      Howdy! Reading your post brought back memories of when I felt much the same,
      so know you’re not alone in this.

      In order to overcome it, I had to basically force myself to put things back
      where I got them from, and had to continue that effort until it became a
      habit..something I did without thinking. Now, at least I always know where
      the important things are…keys, wallet, wedding band, etc.

      The odds of “Death by Meteor” are pretty small (like one in a trillion),
      so go buy a lottery ticket (better odds) and keep looking for that charger
      cable.

    • #122982
      WhereIsMyMind
      Participant

      Update: I found it! And it was … where it was supposed to be (I’m such a hero ain’t I). The problem? There were a dozen other cables in there as well, so I guess it wasn’t a good spot to start with.


      @Dizzy
      : I like the part of ‘forcing yourself’. I try that, really, I try very hard but ultimately it is the brain that dictates. So if the brain forgoes its task of reminding me to force myself to make a habit out of something the whole thing falls apart.

      I’ve talked to people on meds and they keep their monkey brain cages by taking pills. It seems to work for them but I’m kind of afraid of medication that works on my brain. There are certain “ups” to having ADD, usually we’re creative and really good at multitasking (for example cooking).

      Well it all ended for the better … If only I remember where I’ve put my keys…

    • #123078
      tomplatz
      Participant

      Hi WhereIsMyMind. It is sad to read such a thing. So you have a monkey brain for whole your life since you were a child or just now when you are 40 years man? I think everyone forgets about something every day but I have never heard about your case. I don’t know what can I recommend to you. Probably you can try some vitamins (not pills for brain) A, B1, B6, B9, B12, C, D, K, OMEGA-3 or you can simply eat everyday products which have such vitamins and some courses or just download some App on your phone so you can train memory.

      • #126933
        WhereIsMyMind
        Participant

        Hi Tom,

        sorry for the late answer. So, did I have this all my life? I guess so. I was the kind of kid that lost hist gloves, beanies, sweatshirts etc etc just because I forgot I had ’em with me in the first place (I still do btw).

        Thing is that my mom also had this and that we were brought up with the concept that losing/forgetting stuff was always because of somebody else (somebody had replaced it, or put something on top of it, …).

    • #125559
      Trying to fit in
      Participant

      Yesterday it took me three hours to get ready to to go the drugstore. I didn’t even wear makeup. Why? I thought it was about 30 minutes until I looked at the clock. It takes me hours to do anything. I didn’t used to be so bad. The older I get the more time just disappears and the harder I have finding medical help. My house is getting worse since it takes me hours just to do one simple task. I do get sidetracked a lot but those sidetracks are also things that need to get done. I’m 61 and worry constantly that I have dementia.
      When I am alone and not feeling the pressure to complete anything I’m actually happy in moving from task to task. Just hanging in the house doing this and that. I would be happy if others didn’t expect anything from me. My 93yr old mom has ADHD but doesn’t know it. When I lived with her before getting married 2 years ago we were so happy just hanging around in the house doing this and that, whatever caught our attention. I try to go visit for the whole day so we can have fun drifting from project to project. I am so happy and feel free when I don’t have time constraints. I am happy in my own ADHD world. I also get more done when I’m free from time pressure. It is weighing on you even when you have no track of time.I’m so sad when I live in the non ADHD world. I lose all my time. Accomplishing nothing and disappointing others.

      • #125560
        Trying to fit in
        Participant

        In my own ADHD world I don’t mind misplacing things. It never bothered me. That’s me. I will find the item soon. I can drive to a new location getting lost on the way. An adventure seeing new things. I have gps on my phone but don’t mind being lost. I was lost before there was gps and enjoyed it. In my other supposedly normal world (no ADHD allowed), I am always late because I cannot find my keys. I can’t find something that MUST be found several times a day. If someone is with me when I get lost they are frustrated with me. They are nervous if they don’t know where they are.
        I feel if left alone I am free to enjoy my passing time no pressure to constrain it. I want to live in an all ADHD community. Such chaos. Such fun. Freedom.

      • #126412
        kobar
        Participant

        I’d happily halfway build a tiny house in your dream adhd land 🙂

      • #126419
        Trying to fit in
        Participant

        My dream. An adhd world with tiny houses, no clocks, no pressure, no disappointing others. If I were rich I would build an ADHD community. I think I would finally have no anxiety and so much fun. Why do we have to fit in the normal world?

      • #126934
        WhereIsMyMind
        Participant

        Also, there would be much more creativity and out-of-the-box thinking.

      • #126940
        Trying to fit in
        Participant

        Yes. I solve most of my day to day problems outside the box that my husband totally doesn’t understand but works for me. He’s always, “that’s not the way you’re supposed to do that.” When I’m with my adhd mom there are no questions asked about me doing something differently, creatively or sometimes just plain strange. I’m free to do things my way and sometimes it turns out to be the better way.
        Why do we have to change to live in the non-adhd world. Some of our problems are only problems because we are not allowed to do things our way. Why can’t we be ourselves?
        I could rant about this forever. I just think I wouldn’t need medication, I wouldn’t have anxiety and would be so happy if we weren’t expected to conform to non-adhd ways. I so want to live with other adhd’ers with all our creativity and spontaneity. Pure bliss. No so called normal people allowed. They just stress us out wanting us to conform.

      • #126941
        Trying to fit in
        Participant

        While growing up in my adhd family things were often lost or misplaced things but it was okay. We always said, “It will turn up one day.” It did turn up. Sometimes in a few minutes and sometimes years later but that was okay. No big deal. It was fun to come across something you were looking for last week and wonder how it got there. No stress. Now I’m stressed and on meds while searching for my keys because I’m trying to live in a non-adhd world.

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