Left Out at School

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  MJ1981 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #75483

    Chicababy76
    Participant

    My son got diagnosed at about 5. We started medication at about 6. It’s helped him SO much and we’ve come so far since then. He is now 7 1/2 and in first grade. I’m really struggling with how to handle the school situation. I feel his school believes the meds are a cure all. We all know medication can take our kids so far but it’s definitely not a cure all.

    He often gets sent to the office to a short program that is ineffective for him. Many times gets sent out of gym or other classes. And heartbreakingly gets excluded from fun activities because he’s energetic and has a harder time than his fellow non ADHD classmates. In my eyes it’s not fair. I feel he’s being punished for something he truly cannot control. I need some advice or opinions. I don’t know what to do. I feel the school isn’t equipped to properly handle ADHD students, they just send them away to another room or the principal’s office. Teacher has 28 kids in class.

  • #75499

    ADHDmomma
    Keymaster

    It is absolutely punishing him for having a disability — which is neither fair nor acceptable.

    I would request that the school evaluate him for a 504 Plan or IEP. Use this sample letter:

    Free Sample Letter to Request an IEP/504 Evaluation

    Then, when attending meetings about this, make sure they add accommodations for his participation in everything. I would put what you describe here in that request letter above.

    If he’s on medication and still extremely hyperactive, talk with the prescribing doc about it. That often signals that the medication is not as effective as it should be. Yes, it’s just one tool, but it should improve hyperactivity.

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #99405

    ddt1981
    Participant

    Meet with his teacher one on one. Explain what you are seeing. I have a 7 yo and has been left out before. Then I got pissed and requested meetings. meetings with each teacher he had – gym, art, primary teacher, etc. His music teacher failed him in 1st grade music. Once I started one on one meetings, everything changed. I check in with them every so often, his primary teacher once a month if not more.
    I feel like we are on the right track now. He has an IEP and the teachers are more understanding. Take the bull by the horns and advocate for your child, which I am sure you are, but maybe be more forceful. The meetings helped a great deal. I wish you luck. It is heartbreaking…. we are now in 2nd grade and fine tuning medications….

  • #104258

    MJ1981
    Participant

    The advice you’re getting is all very good and perfectly accurate. I would however add one thing, contact your local Parent Information Network or Parent Information Center. If you’re in the USA most states have one, they are often called PIC or something to that extent. They can be a great resource for you and will oftentimes send a trained volunteer to your child’s IEP meetings with you to assure he gets proper services and they will be able to help you find services you may not have ever thought of.

    I would also recommend that maybe your son might benefit from talking to the school social worker or school psychologist; because if he’s being socially cast aside or left-out he’s probably feeling it as well, and likely holding in some emotions he may not even be aware of. Having a safe place to talk that isn’t a parent can often be a big help and they can help him develop age-appropriate strategies for dealing with this and on how to become more included.

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