April 21, 2020 at 10:44 am #169832
Hi everybody, hope you’re all doing fine in the midst of this pandemic madness!
A couple of months ago I started a cycle of CBT therapy sessions to treat what I thought was episodic depression, but it seemed like it was not going anywhere, until my therapist suggested ADD as a possible diagnosis because, as she said, “my case doesn’t make any sense”, I have depressive feelings and patterns, but I don’t behave and don’t sound like a depressed person. So she suggested I get tested for ADD, so we can have a real target for our therapy. But then this Coronavirus pandemic started…so now I will have to wait a few months before I can be tested. Just waiting…
I’m a quick learner and have a very good memory, I’m good at languages and I’m a good dancer (I think), I can often recall facts and data, but I struggle with pretty much everything else, and anything can make me feel overwhelmed. I’m 27, and 10 years ago I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, panic attack syndrome, and agoraphobia, been on medications then stopped. I’m currently unable to find a job, to pursue a career, to keep a household; I forget about deadlines, appointments; I forget stuff all over the place, wet laundry in the washing machine for days; I start some project and never finish it, I get overwhelmed by university assignments and everything feels like a mountain to be climbed so end up spending nights up searching on the internet or scrolling down FB, on top of that I also have the terrible feeling of not knowing who I am and what my purpose in life is.
I’m not an official ADD, but I strongly suspect I am…while I wait for a good moment to get tested, I just want to reach out and see if somebody else understands what I’m going through and it would be great to read other people’s experiences. It always cheers me up to know that I’m not alone out there.
Sorry for the long post, for my English, and my bad punctuation…it’s not my first language 🙂
April 21, 2020 at 8:49 pm #169916
I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. I understand, in my own way. I’ve been through years of therapy with different diagnostic conclusions. Also, finding the right medication(s)can be beyond frustrating.
Please bear in mind that I’m not a clinician. I have been in this rodeo for years. First, you are soooo NOT alone and I get how it can feel like you are.
Look at what you’ve done right here! That’s bravery! It may be hard to incorporate, but I’m serious! I’ve never been able to reach out like you have.
I have piles of things around my house that I have not been able to get done in longer than I care to admit.
In this time where you find yourself stuck, focus on what you can do. I thoughtfully suggest that self care is an important first step. That includes:
# 1 Is your clinician set up for telemedicine?
You might be able to follow up with the practice doing your testing.
#2 If you do not have one, pull together a support team. Teams are made up by family members, friends and clinicians.
I’m stopping here because the temptation is to hit all the issues at once. Not doing that is so hard, but think of it as training for a marathon. You put on one shoe at a time.
Don’t lose heart! Slow and steady wins the day!
April 22, 2020 at 5:01 am #169928
I don’t really have a lot to say except for you’re definitely not alone and everything you say is 100% relatable. It is a mountain to climb and it won’t be easy but you’ve already taken your first step, and that’s often the most difficult one.
April 22, 2020 at 7:10 am #169929
Ive come online today to find a forum of people to chat to who are going through exactly what you are, and exactly what i am.
Lately, its been really tough for everyone, and i think its important to be able to chat to the ones who are suffering from the similar condition.
Thanks for sharing this and please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
its a daily struggle to live with ADHD.
May 1, 2020 at 2:44 pm #170906
Thanks everybody, I just realised I forgot to turn on notifications for the thread so I was not aware of your answers. Your answers were heart-warming and I really appreciate that!
June 23, 2020 at 9:43 pm #177132
This is almost identical to my experience. I’m 50 and my whole life, I’ve struggled with what I thought was depression. I researched ways to manage it on my own and thought I had it beat. I’ve also had intense anxiety issues with doctors and anything medical since a surgery at 5 years old. It only intensified with more horrible experiences with doctors throughout my life. I’ve suffered from nightmares, panic attacks and intense fight or flight reactions over anything “medical”. I knew it must be PTSD. With the “Covid Mask Mania” my anxiety went thru the roof and I couldn’t function. I was afraid that in a panic, I’d become violent and get arrested or kill someone if I was ever confronted about wearing a mask. I couldn’t function at all, so adapting to working at home didn’t happen and I was afraid I’d loose my job. I sought a therapist and after about 3 sessions, she said she’d noticed many flags for ADHD. She evaluated me and concluded that I was ADHD and thought I would really benefit from meds. She diagnosed me with PTSD, General Anxiety and ADHD and referred me to a psychiatrist for med-management. My anxiety went crazy again worrying at the thought of taking anti-depresant/anxiety meds. Luckily, the doctor is not a med pusher and she told me we should start with just treating the ADHD. She said I would probably find that it calmed my brain and would clear the anxious thoughts. I’ve just started on Adderall and she was right. On the first day, the anxiety was gone! We’re still working on getting the dosage right because I’m in a useless daze for most of the day. But from the short periods at the start and end of the day when its right, I think this will change my life!
For anyone who has ADHD along with depression and/or anxiety, I would advise you to start treating only the ADHD. You’ll probably have to go thru some trial and error to find which med and dosage is right for you, but once you get it right, you probably won’t have any anxiety or depression.
June 26, 2020 at 4:28 pm #177598
I want to join the club too! 🙂
I’m 41 and waiting to get diagnosed by somebody and get it over with. English is not my first language either.
I’m a linguist by profession, am webinar-addict, and really like to read and write. So much so that I get sucked into the warp of hyperfocus. However, I’m horrifying terrible with math – I’ve always been that way. I even almost got my PhD… but haven’t finished… it’s a long story with a short ending.
When I was at the university I was assessed for depression too. They put me in a group and one day one lady said: “you are not depressed, you are bored!” I never returned to that group again and never needed to. What helped me against overwhelm was that I had bought a cute tiny kawai monthly calendar and I would put in my schedule and assignments and tests. I would take a look at it just because it was pretty. This made sure I didn’t forget when something was due. I fought against the overwhelm in a way that I would divide the study material into really small chunks. Starting to study for an exam was really hard for me, but I would take a book that I needed to study and just write down the chapters in the form of mindmaps. That worked for me at the university. I somehow lost all this knowledge and tricks now that I work from home.
I feel like I’m time blind as a bat. Due to covid-19 luckily I don’t have to leave my house that often, hence, no opportunity to be late again, and again, and, well… again – what a relief. 🙂
The first thing I did when I found out AD(H)D existed for grownups too, I read everything here on ADDitude. And the second thing I did was to buy a smartwatch. It had to be pretty so that I would look at it, not to see the time, but to observe how pretty it was and see the time as a side-effect!!! LOL! But it worked. You can get a cheaper one too, the most important thing, in my opinion, is to put on a pretty watch face. After that, I set up a timer. Now I use the timer almost more often than the watch face. I use it to remind me when to give meds to my baby, how long the teabag needs to stay in the mug, when the laundry will be washed etc. You can use a smartphone too if you don’t ignore the ringing of the reminders as I do.
I must not open my Facebook page, Pinterest account or Instagram … It sucks my time like crazy…
You can write to me at email@example.com.
There are definitely more of us out here. 🙂
June 29, 2020 at 4:08 pm #177826
Velementu good ideas for working with this.
Yes you are not alone.
I’m just trying to figure my situation out.i mostly spend evenings playing music and making plans…I dont finish things very often.i am messy and got lost on my way to help out my sisters work today because I’ve been there before…its been months but …I just drive aimless until I realized eek where am I??? Coming here and researching how others are doing and finding a way to make things manageable happier is helping.
Good luck keep working .your reaching out and awareness is the first steps to finding ways that help.
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