It's just 15-20 minutes… it's not a big deal

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  a2019 2 months ago.

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  • #116603

    RunningLateinSF
    Participant

    I try and try and try but I am ALWAYS 15-20 minutes late in the mornings. I’m not late to meetings or scheduled things the rest of the day, just in the mornings. It makes me so frustrated because Ive tried all sorts of tactics to change it and I can do it for a few days but then resort back to natural late self. Its really a problem because the late thing overshadows all the good stuff I do at work. It becomes a “thing” and eventually I’m just sewen as a problem and no matter what else I do at work, even going above and beyond expectations sometimes, the “problem” fog still hovers around me wherever I go while at work. That makes me depressed and angry at myself which leads to lower self esteem and lower self confidence which causes me to second guess myself and be less sure of myself. The depression and low self esteem and the constant sting of continually letting myself and others down weighs on me and it’s hard to be in a “good” mood or have energy to do anything, let alone interact with my colleagues and friends, so then I find myself, alone, depressed, wallowing in self pity, beating myself up, disappointing my boss and co-workers,feeling awkward and becoming more and more socially awkward since I isolate myself and am alone most of the time… All of this downward spiral from just being 15-20 minutes late. It’s so dumb.

  • #116633

    debbie626
    Participant

    You sound just like how my son is. But he doesn’t think he is ADHD. He has all the symptoms but I wish I could talk him into seeing a doctor. I could never understand why he is always always late for everything .His self esteem is very low too.

  • #116685

    jcleavenger@gjr.org
    Participant

    I swear I could have been the one to write this post! I never figured out a solution. But I am now a home-based counselor, and start my day from home. It’s a lot easier to be on time when I don’t have to leave my house!

  • #116648

    a2019
    Participant

    I can so relate. In my case, it’s always 5-10 minutes late, but it does make me feel terrible too, I feel ashamed, and I always promise myself that I will be on time the next day, and I just can’t. My brain does not switch on motivation to get ready and leave till it realises it’s really late (and then I race on adrenaline), which is just a little too late. If it’s still early, I’ll always think, why not just do one more thing, I have plenty of time. I’m thinking to buy one of those clocks with a big red shrinking timer, as this may give enough of an alert to my brain to switch it on earlier. (Time timer here: https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-gadgets-gizmos-timers/). Another strategy I’m trying now (with some success) is to tell myself that I need to be there not at 9am, but 8:45am – which would be great, to have time for coffee etc so I really do want to be there – and if I aim to be there at 8:45am, then I’m still late and will never make it, but not late for the actual work start at 9am:). And finally, it does help to remind myself that I’m not dumb or lazy, but my brain does switch motivation on differently from other, non-ADHD, people – either by last-minute deadline, or something inherently rewarding. Going to work is definitely not the latter, so working on the time pressure is what I think can work. Hope it helps :).

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